


Where My Demons Hide

by Wyndewalker



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Canon deaths, Chuck Lives, Knotting, M/M, Mpreg, discussion of miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-01
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2018-02-19 12:34:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 74,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2388389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wyndewalker/pseuds/Wyndewalker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Yancy Becket died still connected to Raleigh in the Drift, Raleigh lost everything, including part of his soul. Unable to deal with the reminders and accusations that he'd killed his Alpha Guardian brother Raleigh fled the Anchorage Shatterdome.</p><p>Five years later Raleigh Becket is living a half-life waiting for the wrong move to send him plummeting to his death on the Wall. Then Marshal Pentecost, his former commanding officer, tracks him down for one final mission against the alien Kaiju. Raleigh decides the conn-pod of a Jaeger is as good a place to die as any.</p><p>He never expected to care again. He certainly didn't expect to find his Alpha.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to the awesome Raine_Wynd for beta-reading this for me. Thanks to her my grammar is not horrible and the story actually makes sense. Any remaining mistakes are mine.
> 
> i also want to thank everyone who read the rough draft on Tumblr and commented or liked it. Without you all I probably wouldn't have gotten through the first draft. So, thank you, and I hope it was worth the wait for the completed story.

Growing up in Alaska, I knew I was an omega but I was never really treated like one. I was never told I should act or be a certain way. All I knew was that Yancy was my big brother, an alpha, and my hero and I wanted to be just like him. Even on our few family trips as kids, I didn’t realize how much I had been sheltered until Yancy and I enlisted in the jaeger Academy. 

Yancy nearly took off the head of the officer who tried to immediately shift me out of the pilot program and into the tech program on our first day just because I was an omega. Someone intervened and Yancy was named my alpha guardian. If I didn’t keep up I would be shifted to the tech program immediately. 

I kept up. 

Then Yancy and I were deemed Drift compatible and nothing else was said about moving me. 

We were assigned to Gipsy Danger, the best jaeger ever built. We were on top of the world, an unbeatable team. 

Until we weren’t. 

Until Knifehead. 

The day Yancy died I lost everything, including part of my soul. 

****

*** * ***

****

"Tell me, Mr. Becket, where would you rather die when the apocalypse comes? On some wall? Or in a jaeger?" Marshal Pentecost shouted after him. 

Raleigh paused at the doorway, staring up at the skeleton of the half-built Anti-Kaiju Wall stretching out into the distance. He’d been working on the damn thing for almost five years now and, despite the risks he continually took, he was still alive. He knew the rate at which the kaiju were taking down jaegers. Stepping into one again was pretty much guaranteeing his death. Could he do that to whatever poor schmuck they stuck in the conn-pod with him? It was the end of the world according to Marshal Pentecost. They knew what they would be getting into. 

"Hey, Becket." Raleigh barely twitched when Tommy came up next to him. "Listen, I got four kids..." 

He knew the instant Tommy saw the black-banded green pendant around his neck. "Man, sorry, I didn’t mean..." 

Raleigh fished his ration cards out of his jacket, dumped them in his hard hat and shoved it at the shorter man. The spluttering behind him was only so much white noise as he walked up to the Sikorsky and climbed in. Wedging himself in the far corner, he barely flicked a glance at Marshal Pentecost. 

"You realize I’m probably not even capable of Drifting anymore, right?" 

"I think that you are not nearly as damaged as you believe you are." 

He let out a harsh laugh. "You have no idea, sir." 

****

*** * ***

****

At the Hong Kong Shatterdome, meeting Mako Mori, it took Raleigh all of about five minutes to figure out that she planned to be his copilot. Whether or not the marshal was happy about it. Maybe even whether or not Raleigh wanted it. Looking at her, the intelligence in her eyes, the fierceness she hid behind a polite mask, Raleigh believed she would make an exceptional jaeger pilot. But he was damaged beyond repair and he couldn’t bring himself to even consider burdening her with his mess. 

Listening to her assessment of his fighting skills while he unpacked his few meager belongings, Raleigh couldn’t help feeling amusement, resignation, and even anger at her words. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard before but coming from her, from someone who’d never been out there on the frontline, who’d never lost what he had, it made him angry. Yet he couldn’t bring up the energy for more than sad resignation. He flipped through his stack of photos until he came to one of him and Yancy grinning at the camera, arms over each other’s shoulders. His beautiful alpha brother who’d protected him from the world until Raleigh had gotten him killed. 

Raleigh looked up at Mako, almost surprised to see her still standing there. "When you’re out there and you know you’re the only thing standing between a kaiju and millions of people, you do what you have to. If it means taking risks then you take them because you have to make a decision right then. You can’t stand back and weigh the options." He looked down at the photo, his thumb brushing over Yancy’s smiling face. _Raleigh_ _, listen to me!_ "Sometimes you make the wrong decision and it’s something you have to live with for the rest of your life. It’s all you can do." 

He turned away from her, grabbing the package of photo tack he took everywhere with him, and began putting select photos on the wall where he could easily see them from his bed. For a long moment, she stood in the doorway with her tablet clutched to her chest, watching him until she finally said softly, "My room is across the hall. When you are ready, I will show you to Medical." 

He didn’t acknowledge her words as he put up a photo of his little sister Jasmine, victim of a drunk driver. 

The door closed with a quiet click behind her. 

****

*** * ***

****

Sitting on the exam table, Raleigh stared at the floor, his legs swinging slightly while waiting for the doctor to return. Eventually, she slipped back into the room, making sure the door was solidly shut behind her before taking a seat on the stool. She was a small, no-nonsense Chinese woman with a surprising British accent. His rather thick PPDC Medical folder was placed on the table and opened up. Dr. Ting gave him a perfunctory smile. "You are in overall good health though a bit malnourished. Hong Kong is an open port; do not worry about rationing when you go to the mess hall. Eat your fill but stick to lighter foods until your body has adjusted. You are still having issues with insomnia?" 

"Yes, ma’am." 

"I’ll prescribe a sleeping pill. Take it for two nights at 9 pm then three nights off. I don’t want you dependent on them. If you get tired during the day and feel you can sleep then do so. I suspect this is something you already know," she arched an eyebrow at him and he nodded. "Good. I see here that you have not been on any inhibitors since you left the Anchorage Shatterdome. Nor have you Bonded. When was the time of your last heat?" 

Raleigh’s shoulders tensed, hunching up around his ears. _I’m sorry, Mr. Becket, there was nothing we could do. You’re worthless now. Not even a real omega. Just a useless bitch._

"Mr. Becket?" Dr. Ting’s voice cut through the memories threatening to swallow him. "When was..." 

"I’m sterile, Doc," Raleigh ground out, jumping down from the exam table. He grabbed his sweater, Yancy’s sweater, pulling it on as he headed to the door. "I haven’t had a heat since before... Since before." He yanked open the door and was gone before she could say anything else. 

As soon as he’d escaped the infirmary, Raleigh snagged the first person he saw and asked where the gym was. Directions committed to memory, he hurried back to his room to change into his new PPDC issued workout clothes. He grimaced a little at the loose fit, testament to just how much weight he’d lost since Anchorage. After a brief debate, he slipped off his pendant, leaving it on the desk. The cord wasn’t long enough for it to sit below the neckline of his tank top and he hated having it swinging around as he worked out. 

****

*** * ***

****

Finding the gym after only one wrong turn, he taped up his hands and settled himself in a corner at one of the punching bags. For the longest time, he’d had to settle for shadow boxing; neither staying in one place long enough nor having the money to buy a punching bag of his own, but he easily remembered the satisfaction of a fist hitting the solid bag. He fell into a steady rhythm of blows, relishing the burn in his muscles and the ache in his lungs as he worked for each breath. Usually he could lose himself in the exercise, quiet the voices in his head for just a little while, but today they wouldn’t shut up, getting all tangled together. 

_I’m in your head, kid._

__

_Worthless now._

__

_Sorry for your loss._

__

_Useless bitch._

__

_Raleigh_ _, listen to me._

__

_Nothing we could do._

__

_Always be here for you, Rals._

__

_Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless._

__

"Going to hurt yourself like that, mate." 

"Ahhh," Raleigh cried out, his fist landing wrong as he startled from the unexpected voice next to him. Curling in on his injured arm, he jerked back from the hands that reached for him until he hit up against the wall. When he finally looked up, Herc Hansen was watching him, jaw clenched; though he visibly forced himself to relax when he met Raleigh’s gaze. Herc’s pendant drew his attention and he quickly averted his gaze. Blue with two black bands. A bonded alpha who’d lost their mate. Raleigh wanted to cringe. He could just imagine what the older man probably thought of him, yet there was only sympathy in his eyes when Raleigh looked up again, sympathy and a bit of exasperation. 

"Told you, you were going to hurt yourself like that," Herc chided. 

"Punch just landed wrong because I was startled," Raleigh defended before he could stop himself. 

Herc snorted in amusement. "Sound just like Chuck when he pulls the same shit. C’mon, let’s take you down to Medical to get it looked over." 

"No! I mean, no. I’m fine, sir. Thanks. Really. Just a muscle twinge. Like hitting your funny bone." Raleigh snapped his mouth shut when Herc held up a hand. 

"Let me take a look and as long as there’s no swelling or obvious breaks, I’ll let it go. Alright?" 

Raleigh considered his options, which really weren’t much since Herc was the marshal’s second in command. Reluctantly, he held out his arm, wincing only slightly at the tenderness in his wrist from the badly landed punch. 

"Alright," Herc sighed. "You don’t seem to have done yourself any damage but I’m calling it a day for you. Grab your jumper. Grub’s up in the mess." 

"Sir," Raleigh started, stopping at Herc’s look. "Right. Let me just get the tape off." 

Herc grinned, slapping him on the back before grabbing Raleigh’s sweatshirt and ushering him out of gym. Herc shadowed Raleigh the entire way to the mess hall then grabbed each of them trays and began loading them up. It reminded him painfully of Yancy and his mother hen tendencies. _Think you want some greens on there? And Jell-O doesn’t count._

"C’mon. You can sit with us. Don’t think you’ve met my son Chuck yet." 

"No, sir," Raleigh replied, following in Herc’s wake. The last thing he really wanted to do was deal with Chuck ‘I’m the best jaeger pilot ever’ Hansen right now but Herc was in full-on Papa alpha mode and wouldn’t let Raleigh pull a runner if he tried. 

Nearing the table, Raleigh felt his stomach start to clench as got his first real look at the younger Hansen. Raleigh remembered Chuck had been an awkward kid with odd features and gangly limbs until one day he’d had a major growth spurt. Then all that awkwardness had turned into a good-looking, graceful young man who’d spent the better part of his life training to be a fighter. Up close now, Chuck practically exuded alpha and Raleigh found himself reacting for the first time since before Knifehead and Paul. He quickly stamped down on those urges. No alpha would want a useless sterile omega like him. 

Raleigh barely met Chuck’s eyes as he sat down, instead concentrating on his plate and the food Herc had insisted on piling on it. There was more there than Raleigh could remember eating in three days back in Alaska. Curling his arm around the plate, he began methodically eating what was there, only lifting his gaze to acknowledge Herc’s introduction. 

"It’s not going to run away from you, mate," Chuck drawled, making Raleigh want to hunch in on himself. 

_Manners,_ _Raleigh_ _._

__

_Worthless bitch._

He did manage to slow down a little and uncurl slightly but he still kept the plate tucked in close to his chest. He didn’t see the ‘what the fuck’ look Chuck gave Herc. 

"So, Riley." 

"Raleigh," he interrupted him. He knew it was childish but hearing the younger man mispronounce his name annoyed him. "My name is pronounced Raleigh," he said, finally meeting Chuck’s gaze head on. 

Chuck’s smug look morphed into a glare at the correction. 

"So, _Rah_ leigh, what have you been doing with yourself for the last five years? Must have been something good, I reckon, to turn your back on all the people counting on your sorry ass." 

_Worthless bitch. Useless now._

"Chuck," Herc growled. 

"Leave off, old man," Chuck growled back. "He’s supposed to be protecting our backs down there in that old rust bucket." 

“Gipsy is not a rust bucket,” Raleigh interrupted their argument, unable to let the insult to his jaeger slide. 

“She’s as obsolete as her pilot,” Chuck sneered. Raleigh began to wonder how he could have thought this jerk was attractive. “What were you doing while we’ve been getting slaughtered?” 

“Construction,” Raleigh answered shortly, his fingers tightening on the fork he held until he began to feel the metal bend. If he insulted Yancy… 

"Oh, well, that’s just great." Chuck tossed his bread crust on his plate. "That’s just bloody great. So glad to know we’re trusting the fate of the world to a glorified bricklayer." 

"Welder actually," Raleigh said without thinking, relaxing his grip on his fork then tensing again at the glare Chuck shot him. He should have kept his mouth shut. The last thing he needed to do was pick a fight with this brat. 

"Whatever, _Riley_ ," Chuck snarled, rising to his feet. Planting his fists on the table, he leaned towards Raleigh, who held his ground. "You better get your shit together, mate, and keep up or I will drop you like a sack of kaiju shit. C’mon, Max." 

Raleigh watched Chuck stalk away, his bulldog hurrying to catch up. Herc sighed, a pained look on his face. 

"That one’s my fault. His mum passed when he was little more than a tyke and I raised him on me own. Was never sure whether to give him a hug or a kick in the ass." 

Considering the display he’d just put on, Raleigh knew which one he’d have chosen. He kept silent though in the face of the alpha’s distress. What right did a damaged omega like himself have to give others advice on how to raise their kids? Swallowing back a wave of nausea, Raleigh pushed away his half-eaten plate, drawing a concerned look from Herc. 

"Thanks for the meal, sir," he said, rising to his feet, "but I better head back to my bunk. The marshal wants me in the kwoon first thing tomorrow morning and the flight and time zone changes are playing hell with me." 

"Course. Get some sleep." 

With a nod, Raleigh turned to leave. 

He was halfway to the door when Herc called out, "Hey, Raleigh." 

Raleigh turned back just in time to catch the apple Herc had lobbed at him. 

"In case you get hungry," Herc shrugged casually. 

_You and me against the world, Rals_

"Thanks, sir." He slipped it into his pocket and hurried away. He could only deal with so much mother-henning, especially coming from someone who wasn’t Yancy. 

****

*** * ***

****

By the time he reached his bunk, Raleigh could feel the Ghost Drift coming on strong. He’d hoped being in a different Shatterdome with so few familiar faces would keep it at bay. He should have known better. Raleigh dropped onto his bed, curling into a ball, staring sightlessly at his pictures. 

_Don’t get cocky, kid._

_C’mon, Yance! We’re unbeatable!_

_Watch me, YaYa! Watch me!_

_That’s great, Jaz. You’ll be the star of the show. Won’t she, Rals?_

__

_Christ, Becket. What kind of omega loses their baby like that? No one will want you. You’re nothing but a useless bitch now._

__

_We are gathered today to mourn the passing of a bright soul._

__

_I’ll always be here for you, Raleigh._

__

_Worthless._

__

_Reckless insubordination. Are you listening to me, Mr. Becket?_

__

_Raleigh_ _, listen to me._

__

_Why did Daddy leave us, Yancy?_

__

_No one will want you now._

__

_We did what we could. If we’d known from the start you were pregnant, Mr. Becket, we might’ve had a chance of saving it. I’m sorry._

_Nothing but a useless bitch now._

__

_Reckless insubordination._

__

_Raleigh_ _, listen to me._

__

_Yancy!_

__

At some point, Raleigh slipped into a restless, nightmare-filled slumber. He watched Yancy be ripped from the conn-pod, felt the sharp spike of fear and pain followed by aching silence where his brother should be. His left arm was on fire, pain screaming along the nerve endings and completely unresponsive. He wanted to give in. He wanted to let Knifehead claim another Becket brother but Yancy would kick his ass if he didn’t finish what they’d started. Charging the plasma caster in his remaining arm, he kept charging it even as his hand began to overheat. If he was going down, the kaiju bastard was damn well going down with him. 

Plunging his arm into the wound they’d already created, he fired. Raw satisfaction filled him as he blew a hole completely through Knifehead. It let out an inhuman shriek as half of its internal organs were vaporized or turned into slag. 

He waited tensely to be sure Knifehead was really dead this time. When the kaiju didn’t resurface, he turned away with a stagger, heading he didn’t know where. 

Yancy. 

He had to find Yancy. 

Why wasn’t Yancy here? 

Yancy? 

YANCY?! 

Raleigh woke with a gasping sob. The nightmare was a familiar demon coiling in his gut until he stumbled from his bed to the tiny ensuite bathroom. He threw up everything he’d eaten that day until all that was left were dry heaves and bile. 

Eventually, he slumped back against the wall willing his stomach to settle. He knew the routine by now. And wasn’t it just sad that he had a routine for this? 

When his muscles stopped cramping, he’d get to his feet to get a drink of water. Rinse his mouth, take a couple of sips to keep hydrated but not start the nausea again. Stumble out to a chair, or the bed as a last resort, and pull out the copy of _Moby Dick_ Yancy had been reading. He’d get through another chapter before starting to feel restless so the book would be put aside in favor of pushups and sit-ups until exhaustion won out or he had to go to work or, in this case, he had to be in the kwoon for candidate tryouts. 

This day was really going to suck. 


	2. Chapter 2

About an hour before he was supposed to report to the kwoon, Raleigh was startled by a knock on his door. Figuring it was either Mako to discuss the testing or Herc to drag him to breakfast, Raleigh opened the door. Instead he found a kid in his late teens holding a stack of clothes.

"Yeah?"

"Ranger Hansen told the quartermaster you were issued the wrong size clothes." The kid gave him a once over then shoved the stack of clothes at Raleigh who took it automatically. "Ranger Hansen was right. Keep them or not, Quartermaster says it is up to you." With a shrug, the kid headed off down the hall.

"Thanks!" Raleigh called after him, retreating into his room. Looking at the clothes, he debated not changing, but if Herc had made the effort to talk to the quartermaster, then he’d know Raleigh had gotten them and want to know why he wasn’t wearing them. Taking off the baggy tank, he pulled on one of the new ones. It fit almost like a second skin. He wasn’t skin and bones but a lack of real meals and a workout schedule that would put most professional athletes to shame had made sure Raleigh was nothing but lean muscles.

He debated what to do about his pendant. He knew he could only leave it off so many times before someone asked about it. Finally, he stood in front of the mirror adjusting the cord until the pendant rested in the hollow of his throat. It would still move some but wasn’t so tight he could choke. Staring at his reflection, his fingers lightly brushed the black band bisecting the green. He remembered the day he’d gotten it in Sheldon Point like it was yesterday. 

He’d come down with walking pneumonia and the foreman at the time, a decent alpha who looked after his people, insisted he go to the doctor. Instead of just checking his current symptoms, the doctor had insisted on doing a full medical history. Raleigh had hated having to explain about Knifehead and when he’d admitted to not having a heat in the two years since without being on inhibitors, the doctor had been stunned and apologetic.

No amount of apologies or sympathy could stop the despair filling him at the sight of the black-banded pendant: a visual reminder to all the world that he was worthless.

Wrenching his thoughts away from the past, Raleigh instead thought of his impending appointment in the kwoon. He wasn’t looking forward to the candidate tryouts. Chuck was right. He was just a has-been. Obsolete. Even if he was still capable of Drifting, the likelihood of finding someone compatible with him was really slim. These tryouts were going to be a disaster.

*** * ***

Raleigh was right, but not in the way he thought. It had been over five years since the last time he’d sparred with anyone; he didn’t count bar brawls, and he’d only sporadically kept up with the tai chi they’d been taught. These candidates should have been wiping the mat with him. Instead, he was holding himself back, attempting to give them a chance to find a rhythm with him. He’d yet to come across a candidate who’d managed to score more than two hits on him before he’d taken them down. 

Mako and Marshal Pentecost were standing on the observation platform together while crowds had filled up the other areas that they could to watch. Herc was standing with the Kaidonovskys and the Wei triplets were a little further down from them. Raleigh had caught a quick glance of Chuck towards the back but he was gone before he could get a second look. 

They had been going at this for nearly two hours and Raleigh was starting to tire. Not a single one of these candidates was truly compatible with him. It didn’t help that the bulk of them were alphas and either determined to prove their dominance over him or they held back so much that he had them beat in less than thirty seconds. Even the betas hadn’t been all that much better. He was half beginning to wonder if Mako hadn’t deliberately sabotaged the list of candidates in an effort to get the marshal to allow her to try. Almost as soon as he thought it he dismissed it. What little he knew of her gave him the impression that, not only was she a consummate professional, but she would rather earn respect than gain it through underhanded methods. Cheating so that she was the only viable candidate was not the route she’d take.

Raleigh held out his hand to the beta he’d just tossed to the mats. The man took the offered assistance with a slight smile and a nod of respect once he was on his feet again. Breathing deeply, Raleigh looked over at the line of candidates, waiting for the next one to step out and the process to begin again.

"That will be all for this morning," Marshal Pentecost’s voice rang out before the next candidate stepped forward. "We will resume at 1300. Miss Mori?" 

She glanced quickly at Raleigh before giving the marshal a short bow and preceded him from the kwoon. He noticed the brief touch of the marshal’s hand to her back, wondering what it meant before dismissing it. Everyone who’d gathered to watch quickly dispersed as well until Raleigh was the only one left. Or so he thought until he looked up to find Chuck watching him. Raleigh frowned which caused Chuck to smirk. When Raleigh opened his mouth to say something, the Australian turned on his heel and left, leaving Raleigh even more confused.

At loose ends because he hadn’t been given any duties, Raleigh returned to his room, deciding to shower then go see if there was any way he could help with the restoration of Gipsy Danger. He might have been a pilot but they’d had plenty of downtime; he’d tended to spend most of it with the jaeger techs who had kept Gipsy in fighting condition. It was how he’d met Paul. Raleigh quickly shut down that line of thought. The thick envelope he found propped against his door helped distract him. A quick glance inside identified it as a stack of official papers. They might be the Resistance now but it looked like Marshal Pentecost was determined to keep things as official as he could.

In his room, Raleigh dropped the envelope onto his desk, then stripped and headed to the shower. Once he was dry and dressed in a clean set of clothes, Raleigh dumped the paperwork out so he could go through it. As he’d suspected, they were all sorts of forms, mostly to reinstate his rank and make him an official part of the PPDC again. Raleigh bit his bottom lip as he looked through them. He wasn’t as stupid as a lot of people believed him to be. While he’d let Yancy handle a lot of things for him that he probably shouldn’t have, he did know how to read through the enlistment contracts. 

These were all above board. Nothing struck him as unfair or off, which in itself felt off to him. Why was the marshal having him sign these when the man saw him as little more than cannon fodder? You didn’t offer someone a choice of places to die if you expected them to survive. And that crap about being the last Mark-3 pilot alive. What about all the Mark-2 or Mark-4 pilots? They couldn’t all be dead. Unfortunately, Raleigh was fairly certain that Herc and the Kaidonovskys _were_ the last Mark-1 pilots still capable of piloting.

Why had Marshal Pentecost come looking for him instead of letting him rot on the Wall? Raleigh certainly wouldn’t have blamed him for leaving him there. He knew he was damaged and was frankly surprised the doctors had given the okay for him to Drift.

He could barely keep his own thoughts together; how was he supposed to let someone else into his head like that?

Knowing there was no good answer to that question, Raleigh worked on filling out the forms. When he came to the one asking for a beneficiary in case of death, he spent several minutes staring at it. He had no one to put down. The only one in his family still alive was his father and he’d disappeared barely a week after his mother had died leaving Yancy to raise a teenage Raleigh and a twelve-year-old Jazmine by himself. Unable to deal with it, he left it blank. He finished filling out the rest of them and shoved them back into the envelope. He’d drop these off with Personnel on his way to the mess hall. Was it wrong of him to hope Herc wasn’t around so he wouldn’t have to deal with Chuck?

*** * ***

Raleigh was searching for a quiet corner in the mess hall when his tray was suddenly taken from his hands.

"Hey! Wait..." He stuttered to a stop when he realized Aleksis Kaidonovsky had taken it. He and Yancy had met the Russians once during one of the PPDC press tours. They’d been polite but distant, keeping to themselves despite his and Yancy’s attempts at being friendly. 

"Come, Little Becket. You will sit with us today," Sasha informed him, a hand on his back to propel him in the direction she wanted. Raleigh soon found himself seated at the Russians’ usual table. The Kaidonovskys took the seats opposite him, murmuring to each other in Russian as they sorted out the items on their trays to their liking. The glances they kept shooting him told him he was the likely topic of discussion.

He chose to ignore them, concentrating instead on his own food, although he did notice the blatant display of their tags identifying both of them as sterile alphas. Considering they’d been piloting Cherno Alpha, a Mark-1 jaeger, since the beginning it wasn’t really a surprise. The original jaegers hadn’t exactly had the best shielding around their nuclear cores and a number of the early pilots had paid the price for that in one way or another.

Finally they seemed to reach a consensus because Aleksis began eating. 

"You did well in the kwoon today," Sasha commented, folding her mixed vegetables into her mashed potatoes. "Was surprising to see how easily you beat all candidates. Should not have bet against Choi."

Aleksis grunted at that comment, earning a pointed glare from his wife. He ignored it.

"Tendo made bets on me?" Raleigh asked in surprise.

"Choi bets on everything," Sasha said, dark red lips twisting in a mild sneer. "You were still surprise. Five years is long time. Plus you are skin and bones."

"Insomnia gives me a lot of time to do things like work out," Raleigh said with a shrug, poking at his food. He’d taken small portions of several items and was fighting the urge to hug the plate tight to his chest like he had the night before. Despite not really being hungry and knowing no one was going to take it away from him, he couldn’t help some of the habits he’d developed in the last five years.

"Eat, Little Becket. Food is not for playing with," Sasha admonished him. Raleigh sighed.

"You know I don’t actually need an alpha to look after me." He regretted the words the moment they left his mouth. "I’m sorry, I didn’t..."

Both Russians froze. Sasha’s face twisted, no doubt preparing for a scathing remark but Aleksis beat her to it. He simply fixed Raleigh with a stern look and said, "When you stop looking like little lost puppy we will agree with you."

Raleigh’s jaw dropped. Had he really just...? Judging by the smirk on Sasha’s face, Aleksis really had just called him a little lost puppy. He snapped his mouth shut when Sasha began to snicker and Aleksis outright grinned. Letting out a soft huff, he dug back into his food, actually eating some of it. Sasha stilled for a moment, her eyes locked on something over Raleigh’s shoulder as she nudged Aleksis. The giant of a man followed her gaze, smirking as well, though his was slightly less feral than Sasha’s. Curious, Raleigh turned to look and found Chuck glaring at them. Herc joined his son, seemingly oblivious to the stare down going on as he pushed Chuck towards the food line. Raleigh let out a sigh turning back.

"I wish I knew why he hates me so much," Raleigh muttered. 

The Russians exchanged a look. 

"What?"

"Is not hate," Sasha said as she resumed eating. "Is..." she said something in Russian, "mm, frustration is word, I think. Hansens are not best at expressing emotion."

Raleigh opened his mouth then closed it shaking his head. "You know what, I don’t want to know."

The Russians just exchanged amused glances. He really didn’t want to know.

*** * ***

The afternoon in the kwoon went pretty much the same as the morning. Raleigh really had to wonder where they were getting these candidates because not a single one of them scored a point on him. The last match had actually ended so quickly that the man, an alpha, had lain gaping at him from the floor for so long Raleigh had begun to think he’d actually hurt him. When Raleigh offered his hand, the man had slapped it away, rolling to his feet on his own before bending down to grab his dropped bō staff. Raleigh was turning away to grab his bottle of water when a shout from the watching crowd had him turning back, bō staff raised in defense of a blow that never landed.

Aleksis had reached the man before he could complete his swing, grabbing the bō staff in one hand and the back of the man’s shirt in the other, hauling him backwards. Sasha was right beside her husband, as was Herc. Raleigh even caught sight of Chuck at the front of the now angry crowd, a vicious snarl on his face. Raleigh blinked in surprise.

"Rangers," Marshal Pentecost’s stern voice carried easily over the crowd. "Escort him to the brig, please. Unharmed."

There were more angry mutterings over the last command but it was obeyed as Sasha and Aleksis frog-marched the man from the kwoon. Herc remained behind. Marshal Pentecost nodded slightly.

"That will be all for today. We will resume again at 0800 tomorrow morning, Mr. Becket."

"Yes, sir," Raleigh agreed, bewildered, as the marshal and Mako strode from the kwoon.

"You alright, Raleigh?" Herc asked.

"Yes, sir," he responded automatically, continuing at Herc’s disbelieving look. "Really. I’m fine. Aleksis stopped him before he made contact. Although, I could have stopped him. I can take care of myself, sir."

"Didn’t say you couldn’t. You’ve certainly been proving it in these matches but attacking someone from behind is conduct unbecoming. And to attack an omega like that..."

"Like I said, sir," Raleigh practically snarled, "I can take care of myself. I don’t need an alpha to look out for me." Turning on his heel, he grabbed his things and stalked from the kwoon, barely noticing the way people quickly moved out of his way. Raleigh felt like he was back at the Academy having to prove himself all over again. Only now he didn’t have Yancy at his back, supporting him. Now people had his own track record to hold against him and not just a damn quirk of biology.

Back in his room Raleigh threw himself down on his bed, one arm slung over his eyes.

_What kind of omega are you? Nothing but a useless bitch._

_Raleigh, listen to me..._

_Reckless insubordination. Because of you..._

_If we’d known from the start you were pregnant, Mr. Becket, we might’ve had a chance of saving it._

Raleigh curled into a ball, drowning in the voices in his head as he struggled to breathe. Eventually, he passed out from the exhaustion.


	3. Chapter 3

When Raleigh woke from the usual nightmare, the clock read 4:36 am. He blinked at it a few times processing the fact that he’d just gotten close to ten hours of sleep. It had been a rather restless sleep but sleep all the same. It had been a long time since that had happened without involving a hospital bed and drugs. His stomach growled reminding him that he’d slept through dinner and lunch had been a long time ago. He quickly showered then made his way down to the mess hall in search of coffee and maybe a bowl of cereal or something equally light.

The place was understandably quiet considering the hour. Raleigh easily found what he was looking for and politely waved off a cook’s offer to make him a more substantial breakfast. He didn’t bother pointing out that he wouldn’t be able to keep it down, just thanked and assured them what he had was more than enough.

He’d finished his cereal and was on his second cup of coffee when Tendo stumbled his way in, heading straight for the coffee urns set up in the corner. Raleigh watched with some amusement as Tendo immediately downed a mug of straight up freshly poured black coffee before setting about fixing up three mugs. Two were done to Tendo’s preferences while the third was done to Raleigh’s. A couple of bagels were placed on top of the mugs while a butter knife and several packs of butter went into Tendo’s shirt pocket. Everything was carried over to where Raleigh was sitting.

"You look like shit, brother," Tendo told him as he sat down, passing over a mug and bagel. Raleigh grinned and shook his head. Same old Tendo.

"Thanks, man. Gotta say you’re not looking much better," he noted, taking in the rumpled shirt and slightly crooked bowtie. His hair was as perfectly gelled as ever but Raleigh was still convinced Tendo had permanently glued it into shape and just took it on and off like a helmet. Tendo must have caught the direction of his gaze because he pointed a warning finger at Raleigh.

"Don’t you even think about what you’re thinking about. The marshal will kill us all if you instigate another prank war."

"Me? I just got here," Raleigh protested.

“Don’t play innocent with me. I was there for the prank war of summer ‘18 between you two and the Gages. I already know the Weis are even more devious and rumor has it the last time someone tried to prank Herc he brought in wildlife. _Australian_ wildlife. Do you have any idea the number of poisonous animals there are in Australia? A lot. Like, how the hell do people live there, a lot." Tendo shuddered at the thought then poked his knife at Raleigh. “So no pranks. You hear me?”

Raleigh shook his head, holding up his hands in surrender. “I promise I wasn’t planning anything. I was just wondering if you superglue your hair to get it to stay like that all the time.”

“You’re a riot, Becket boy. You only wish you could look this good. Now quit poking at that bagel and eat it. Seriously, how’ve you been doing really, kid?"

Raleigh shrugged, staring down at his coffee. "I’m getting by. Some days are better than others but I deal, you know? How about you?" He tapped the wedding band on Tendo’s finger. "This is a new accessory since the last time I saw you. Who’d you convince to look at your ugly face every day?"

"Brat," Tendo laughed. "You remember Alison, right?"

"From Anchorage? The one with the boyfriend?"

"Yep. She dumped her boyfriend and we started dating. Married a little over three years now." Tendo pulled out his wallet so he could grab the photos in it. “Here’s our wedding picture and here’s my baby... Shit. Sorry. I didn’t think..." Tendo stuttered to a stop trying to pull the photo back but Raleigh gripped his wrist.

_We did everything we could._

"Hey, it’s okay, man. Just because... Just because I can’t doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear about your little girl. You’re a good friend, Tendo. Always have been and I’m happy for you. Really." Raleigh put all the sincerity he could into his words because he really was happy for his friend. And Raleigh understood that just because he hadn’t been able to move forward with his life didn’t mean everyone else’s life had stopped as well.

He smiled encouragingly, holding his hand out for the photo. After a brief hesitation, Tendo handed it over. Raleigh studied it, seeing a pretty toddler. "She’s beautiful. Definitely doesn’t get that from you,” he grinned. “What’s her name?"

"You’re a riot, Becket,” Tendo waved his butter knife at him. “Her name’s Abigail, and she’s brilliant like her mom."

Raleigh listened as Tendo happily rambled on about his little girl for several minutes. He’d meant it when he said he was happy for his friend. He really was yet he couldn’t help the ache in his heart at the thought of what he’d never be able to have.

_You’re sterile, Mr. Becket._

He resolutely stayed away from the thought of the child he’d lost. Instead, he listened to Tendo talk about first words, first steps, and hating that he was missing so much of her first years, but it was the apocalypse and he wanted to make sure his baby girl had a world in which to grow up.

Eventually, a tech from LOCCENT wandered in, clearly looking for Tendo.

"Duty calls, brother," Tendo sighed, gathering up his garbage. "We need to do this again. Tell me what you’ve been doing with yourself all this time."

"Yeah, sure," Raleigh agreed, waiting until Tendo was gone before letting out a sigh of his own. He wanted to avoid that conversation as long as possible. Tendo had been Yancy’s best friend and a good friend to him, especially in the weeks after Knifehead. He didn’t need to know just how fucked up Raleigh had been and still was.

Draining the rest of his coffee, Raleigh decided to head for the kwoon. It was early yet and he wasn’t stupid enough to do his usual workout routine before candidate tryouts. He could, however, go through the bō training exercises. If nothing else, they’d be a good warm up.

*** * ***

Raleigh didn’t know how long he’d been at it when he turned with a sweep to find Mako watching him. She had a slight frown on her face that cleared the instant she realized he was watching her.

"I did not mean to intrude," she apologized, bowing slightly.

"It’s okay. I should probably take a break anyway," he said, walking over to where he’d left his things. Grabbing his water bottle, he dropped into a lotus position on the floor, gesturing for her to join him. She hesitated only a moment before kneeling next to him.

"Tell me about fixing Gipsy," Raleigh said when she remained silent. "How badly damaged was she? I know she needed a new arm and…and a new…a new..."

_Raleigh, listen to me._

"Conn-pod," Mako supplied when he couldn’t finish.

"Yeah," his right hand came up to rub at the scars on his left shoulder. "I don’t remember what other damage she took."

Mako nodded understandingly. “There was damage to her chest plating and her right plasma caster had been overloaded, requiring it to be replaced. The damage from battle would have required many repairs but the worst damage, I believe, was from being exposed to the elements with no upkeep in Oblivion Bay.” 

"When did you start fixing her?"

"She was returned to the Anchorage Shatterdome on September 20th, 2023 to begin repairs and upgrades."

"That’s..." Raleigh blinked in surprise. "It’s taken fifteen months to fix her? She was that badly damaged?"

Mako shook her head. "We did not have a full crew working on her at first but as more jaegers fell that were not replaced, there were more technicians available to help. There were also a few minor issues integrating the upgrades. We were able to adapt the programming so there is no longer any problems. Gipsy is stronger than she was before."

"Good," Raleigh nodded. "Tell me about the upgrades. What’s been done to her?"

Mako was happy to detail all of the upgrades she had made to the Mark-3 jaeger. Raleigh listened attentively, cataloging everything she said, mentally mapping out the effects the upgrades would likely have on her maneuvering and fighting capabilities. Periodically, he asked questions so that Mako could explain or give more detail on something. It grated a little each time she looked surprised that he actually understood what she was saying. He knew he hadn’t been at the head of the class at the Academy but he wasn’t stupid either. Even as a pilot, he’d been expected to have a certain level of understanding when it came to the jaeger tech.

When the kwoon began to fill up, she excused herself, hurrying from the room. Sasha and Aleksis joined him shortly after. Sasha looked him over with a critical eye.

"Today will be walk in park again, solnyshko," she pronounced with a wicked grin aimed at the hopeful candidates across the room. Several of them took a step back at her look. It might not be official but the Kaidonovskys had clearly taken a protective interest in Raleigh and very few would be willing to cross them.

He debated repeating that he didn’t need a protector before deciding against it. They weren’t being overbearing and he was sure they’d ignore him anyway. He had to admit, if only to himself, there was something comforting about their behavior as well.

Marshal Pentecost’s arrival with Mako was the signal for the matches to begin. As he stepped out onto the mats, Raleigh saw Herc join the Kaidonovskys and the Wei Tangs hovering nearby. A quick scan of the crowd found a scowling Chuck lurking near the back again. Raleigh was beginning to feel like an animal on display.

*** * ***

Today’s tryouts went much the same as yesterday morning. By the time the marshal called a halt, Raleigh was ready to bash his head against the wall. Today’s candidates had been even less Drift compatible with him than yesterday’s, something Mako and the marshal must have realized, judging by the frustrated looks on their faces. He suspected Mako was more frustrated by having to watch this debacle and not having the opportunity to try.

"Enough," Marshal Pentecost finally announced. "We will resume tomorrow morning."

Returning to his room, Raleigh dropped down onto his bed. He knew he should get up and shower, get something to eat, find something productive to do. He drifted off to sleep.

Raleigh woke with a gasp, chest heaving as he rolled from the bed bolting for the bathroom. There wasn’t much in his stomach to bring up so he soon slumped back against the wall, his head cradled in shaking hands. This nightmare had been new.

Instead of killing Knifehead after Yancy was killed, Raleigh had been forced to watch from a disabled Gipsy as the kaiju went after the other jaegers in the Shatterdome. None of them were a match for Knifehead as it went unerringly for each conn-pod. The screams of the dying pilots echoed in Raleigh’s ears as Cherno Alpha, Crimson Typhoon, and Striker Eureka had fallen in turn. It was only then that Knifehead turned back to Raleigh and Gipsy.

That hadn’t been the end of the nightmare but he recoiled from the thought of the rest. He couldn’t bring himself to think of it, latching instead onto the urgent need to see the other pilots and see for himself that Sasha and Aleksis, the Wei Tangs, Herc and even Chuck were still alive and well.

Quickly brushing his teeth, Raleigh pulled on a sweater and left his bunk. The clock read a quarter to three in the afternoon so he headed straight for Scramble Alley and the jaeger bays first. He never noticed the distress signals he exuded or the way every alpha he passed paused to watch him in concern.

The Wei Tangs were easiest to find, playing their usual game of basketball next to Crimson Typhoon’s hangar. He hurried on glancing over at Striker Eureka’s bay. Herc was digging through a tool cabinet by Striker’s foot. He looked up and frowned as Raleigh passed. There was a metal clang of a tool hitting the floor then Chuck appeared as well from behind Striker frowning heavily. Raleigh ignored it beyond giving them both a visual once over determining they were all right.

From there he made a beeline for Cherno Alpha and the familiar thumping of Ukrainian hard house music coming from the bay. By the time he reached Cherno, a grim faced Aleksis and Sasha were waiting for him. Sasha’s eyes widened marginally at the sight of him, then she was guiding him into the shadows beneath Cherno with Aleksis a living wall between them and everyone else.

"Solnyshko," Sasha murmured. The metal of her numerous rings was a cool contrast to the warmth of her skin as she cupped his face. "What happened, Little Becket? Who hurt you?"

Raleigh shook his head suddenly feeling like an idiot. "I’m not hurt. Really. It’s stupid. I... I just... I should go."

"Nyet," she said forcefully, a grumble of agreement coming from Aleksis behind him. "Whatever causes this much distress is not stupid. What happened, solnyshko?"

"A nightmare," Raleigh sighed, staring at the floor. "I had a nightmare that Knifehead k-killed all of you. He ripped apart the conn-pods a-and I couldn’t... I couldn’t stop him. I couldn’t stop him," he whispered, blinking to hold back the tears. It was stupid and childish and he couldn’t believe how out of control his emotions were. Even worse, he was having his breakdown in front of the two most stoic badass people he knew, whose opinion he’d admit to caring about anyway.

Then Sasha did something that completely floored him.

She pulled him into a hug.

Raleigh stood stiffly in her arms trying to figure out what to do when the long, almost forgotten memory of being held by his own mother surfaced. He found himself melting into her embrace, hands coming up to fist in the back of her shirt. Soft words whispered in Russian into his ear were his final undoing, opening the floodgates on tears he hadn’t shed since truly understanding Yancy was gone, since finding out he was pregnant and miscarried all in the same sentence, since Paul had so thoroughly rejected him.

Sobbing, he clung to Sasha, allowing her to maneuver them until they were sitting on part of Cherno’s foot. Her arms never loosened, cradling him close. He couldn’t understand any of what she was saying yet it was comforting and soothing all the same. Eventually the tears tapered off and he pulled away to scrub at his face. He was completely mortified that he had just cried all over her like a child, or worse, like a weak omega. Blushing, he crossed his arms over his chest, staring at the floor again.

"Sorry," he muttered. "I didn’t mean to... I shouldn’t have cried on you like that."

"Why?" Sasha asked as one finely sculpted eyebrow rose. "Because you are manly man? Because crying is for children? For the weak?" She shook her head. "You have much pain in you, solnyshko, that you have not dealt with. You have been alone for too long. We are not your alphas," she gripped his chin when he flinched forcing him to look at her, "but we can be family. Yes, we may die in next attack. We are jaeger pilots. Is risk we all take. Would you have us be less than we are?"

Raleigh quickly shook his head no.

"Good. Then don’t be anything less than what you are.”

"And what’s that? A worthless has-been?" Raleigh blinked in surprise when she began cursing in Russian, jumping to her feet to pace. He started to move but froze at the furious glare she gave him. She calmed down after a few minutes though she still pinned him with a hard look.

"You have issues, Little Becket. End of world is bad time to deal with but I tell you this. You are not worthless or has-been. You are only omega pilot ever. You pilot Gipsy and killed kaiju after brother’s death. Worthless has-been cannot do what you do in kwoon. You are strong. You are survivor. Do not doubt. Do you think we would have time for worthless has-been?"

"No, you wouldn’t," Raleigh agreed. The Kaidonovskys were one of the best jaeger pilot teams. They had stood strong against Category IV kaiju in a Mark-1 jaeger when newer and faster jaegers had fallen. If they had thought him to be weak or worthless they would have simply ignored him, not befriended and looked after him.

"Thank you," he said sincerely. 

Sasha smiled as she cupped his head in her hands so she could press a kiss to his forehead. "You are a good boy, solnyshko. Now go shower. You stink of kwoon."

Raleigh huffed out a laugh, rising to his feet.

Impulsively, he pressed a kiss to her cheek, then darted out of the way when she swatted at him. He laughed again when Aleksis wrapped an arm around his neck to haul him in for a quick scrub of his hand through Raleigh’s hair before letting him go.

*** * ***

Walking out of the jaeger hangar, Raleigh felt lighter than he had in a long time. Not even Chuck scowling at him could bring him down. He debated stopping in the mess hall to grab some fruit or something but found himself wandering to one of the platforms overlooking Gipsy’s restoration.

Sitting down on the platform, he let his legs dangle over the edge while folding his arms over the lowest rung of the pipe railing. He rested his chin on his arms staring at his girl.

It looked like the techs were in the home stretch with her now. More armor was being put back into place. He figured another day, maybe two, and she’d be completely whole again. Just in time for a suicide run on the Breach.

Sucking a sharp breath, Raleigh shifted so his face was buried in the crook of his arm. He’d almost forgotten why he was there. Why they were all there: Marshal Pentecost’s mad plan to seal the Breach once and for all. It had been tried before at least a couple of times and they’d all failed. Raleigh could only assume Marshal Pentecost had new information from the K-scientists that made him believe they’d succeed this time. At what cost, though? Which of them did Marshal Pentecost believe was expendable? All of them? One or two? It was no wonder he didn’t want Mako in a jaeger when he knew he would be sending her to her death.

Yet Mako was so eager to get into the conn-pod and he couldn’t believe she was suicidal. She had to believe that there was a chance of coming back. The more he thought about it, he had to believe that they all thought there was a chance of coming back from this. 

They were all soldiers, willingly putting their lives on the line with the understanding that each encounter might be their last. Sasha had said it, they all knew the risks they were taking and did it anyway. Because that is what they did. They truly were the last line of defense. 

Raleigh let out a startled yelp when a wrinkly face shoved its way under his arm to lick at his face. He flailed a little before instinctively grabbing at Max, remembering he was sitting at the edge of a long drop.

"Dammit, Max," he breathed, waiting for his heart rate to slow down. The bulldog just settled half in his lap, half on the floor, completely unconcerned that Raleigh had almost knocked him off a one hundred-fifty foot drop. Chuck would kill him if he’d killed his dog, accident or not. Speaking of...

Raleigh glanced around surprised there wasn’t already an angry Australian yelling at him. He frowned at the sight of a completely empty hallway. Two techs rounded the corner, comparing tablets, but they quickly disappeared down another hallway. Raleigh looked down at Max.

"Where’s your owner, huh?"

Max tilted his head to the side, panting.

"Did you wander off? Decide to go walkabout?" Raleigh asked in a bad Australian accent. Max tilted his head to the other side then pushed himself up to lick at Raleigh’s face again. Raleigh laughed, rubbing his hands over the dog in rough pets. Max sighed, leaning into it. Once more something that had tightened in Raleigh’s chest began to loosen.

Continuing to absently pet Max, Raleigh looked back at Gipsy Danger. She might look brand new but he knew there were scars just beneath the surface. She had a second chance. Maybe it was time he gave himself one as well.

"C’mon, Max," Raleigh said, getting to his feet. "Chuck is probably going out of his mind looking for you. Let’s go find him instead."

Max scrabbled to his feet, happily falling into step with him. Raleigh smiled down at the bulldog, wondering what it must be like to always have such unwavering love and loyalty directed at you. 

"I hope Chuck knows how lucky he is to have you," Raleigh told him.

Walking through the Shatterdome, Raleigh wasn’t surprised by the number of double takes he got. He did find it a bit odd the number of times people would look over his shoulder when he stopped to ask if anyone had seen Chuck. Every time he turned to look, there was no one there so he just shrugged it off.

Eventually, he found himself back in Scramble Alley, headed towards Striker Eureka’s hangar. Herc was still tinkering on a piece of Striker but Chuck was nowhere in sight. Max let out a bark, making Herc look up, then frown.

"Raleigh? What’s Max doing with you?" Herc asked, setting aside his tools.

"I found him. Well, more like he found me." Raleigh shrugged, looking down at Max whose stump of a tail was wagging happily. "I was up on one of the platforms overlooking Gipsy when Max wandered over. I figured Chuck must be looking for him except no one’s seen Chuck. I figured he’d be here but apparently not. Any ideas?

Herc shook his head, frowning down at Max who was leaning against Raleigh’s leg. "Nah. Last time I saw him he was on his way out of the hangar. Just after you left Cherno’s hangar actually. Everything okay with you?"

"Uh, yeah," Raleigh replied, surprised by the sudden shift in conversation.

"You sure? Looked pretty upset when you came in looking for the Kaidonovskys before. Thought something might’ve happened."

Raleigh blushed. He hadn’t realized he’d looked so upset and over a stupid nightmare too. "I’m fine, sir. Nothing happened. I just... I..."

"Oi, there you are, Max," Chuck’s voice interrupted before he could say anything embarrassing. "What’re you doing with my dog, Becket?"

Raleigh sighed, smiling sympathetically at Herc’s look of frustration, before turning to face the younger man. "He found me up on one of Gipsy’s platforms. I didn’t think him wandering off was a usual thing so I thought I’d bring him back."

"Are you tying to tell me how to look after my dog, _Rah_ liegh?" Chuck demanded.

Taking a deep breath, Raleigh started to retort then thought better of it. He shook his head instead. "No, I just thought you might be worried about where he was. I’ll see you around, Herc, Chuck."

Nodding briefly, he left and headed back to his bunk to shower like Sasha had ordered him to before heading to the mess for dinner. Had he looked back, he might have seen Herc smacking the back of Chuck’s head while demanding, "What the hell was that, you drongo?"

"What?" Chuck responded, making Herc shake his head and stomp off while muttering under his breath. Chuck stared after his father, perplexed, before turning back to staring in the direction Raleigh had gone.


	4. Chapter 4

Raleigh stared up at the ceiling over his bed. He knew he needed to sleep. He wanted to sleep. Sort of. He wanted actual sleep, but knew he was far more likely to have nightmares. The last thing he wanted was a repeat of the one he’d had earlier in the day. That one had just been...

Rolling onto his side, Raleigh looked at the clock.

One thirty-six AM.

Throwing off his blanket, he slipped on his boots and a sweater over his sweatpants then left his bunk. He had no destination in mind. He just picked a direction and started walking. He counted doors and hallways, floor tiles, and light fixtures as he went. Anything to keep his mind occupied without needing to actually think.

He’d reached a portion of the Shatterdome he’d never been in when the sound of rock music caught his attention, drawing him forward. Many of the doors he passed were open, allowing Raleigh to look inside. They were all labs, though mostly empty. He’d apparently found the K-science area. He debated going further when there was a clang followed by cursing, audible over the music. He let out a sigh hurrying forward. At the least he’d make sure whoever it was wasn’t seriously injured, then he’d go stare at Gipsy for a while.

Finding the right lab, he paused in the doorway, seeing who it was. Of course. It was the hyper kaiju groupie he’d met his first day here, who was about to put his bleeding finger in his mouth.

"I really don’t think that’s a good idea," Raleigh said, unable to help a smirk when the guy startled so badly, he tripped landing sideways in the desk chair beside him.

"What? Who... How long have you been standing there? " The guy – Gecko, Salamander, some kind of lizard – demanded, untangling himself from the chair. He started to put his finger in his mouth again but Raleigh was already there, grabbing his hand to stop him.

"Not a good idea, Doc." Raleigh glanced meaningfully at the various kaiju parts around the lab. It looked like the scientist had been working on a jumbled pile of electronics but who knew what the guy’s tools had touched.

"What?" The guy blinked then brightened in understanding. "Oh! No. I wear gloves when working on that stuff. This is all perfectly safe."

"Yeah, sorry if I’d rather not take that chance, Doc," Raleigh said, dragging him over to a sink in the back with a large first aid kit next to it. "I get that you’ve got a thing for kaiju but I don’t want to be the one to explain to the marshal why you’re suddenly glowing neon blue."

"I don’t have a _thing_ for kaiju," he protested, staying still as Raleigh turned on the water and stuck his still-bleeding hand under it. "Well, okay, maybe I do have a thing for them but not in a ‘We must worship them because God sent them to punish us kind of way’. I’m not a cultist. I mean, didn’t you ever watch monster movies as a kid and think they were the coolest thing ever? Or dinosaurs? A lot of kids thought dinosaurs were cool."

"Dinosaurs lived millions of years ago, Doc, and monster movies are just movies. Kaiju are real and killing people. There is nothing cool about that." Shutting off the water, Raleigh dried the scientist’s hand then wiped it down with a sterilization pad.

"Ow," he winced, but didn’t jerk away. "Call me Newt. I’m not big on formality. And I get what you’re saying. Really. I do. People getting killed is so not cool. The kaiju in and of themselves are though. Seriously. They’re these amazing feats of biology. Well, genetic engineering actually. There’s just so much to learn about them."

Raleigh gritted his teeth as he bandaged Newt’s hand, drawing a small yelp from him when he pulled at the gauze a little too roughly. Finally he was done and let Newt go, instead grasping the edge of the sink in a white-knuckled grip.

_Don’t get cocky, kid._

_Raleigh, listen to me_

"Have you ever lost anyone to the kaiju, Doc? Newt. A close friend? A family member? Just someone you truly cared about?"

"I... I’ve lost some colleagues. No one really close to me," Newt said quietly, then added, slightly defensively, "Just because I haven’t lost anyone doesn’t mean I don’t understand..."

"I was connected to my brother in the Drift when Knifehead ripped him out of Gipsy’s conn-pod," Raleigh interrupted him. "I know exactly what my brother felt when he was killed. I know what it feels like to die. When... When Knifehead looked into Gipsy’s damaged conn-pod at me it was looking _at_ me. Kaiju are monsters plain and simple. There is nothing cool about them."

"See, this is why what I’m doing or trying to do is so important!" Newt insisted, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Raleigh frowned at him.

"How?"

"You just said it. Knifehead _saw_ you. It connected you to your jaeger. A dumb beast couldn’t do that. All the other kaiju since then have tried to take out the conn-pods. They figured out that was a big weakness in the jaegers. See, it’s like I told the marshal. The kaiju are all genetically engineered clones and whoever is making them keeps trying to adapt them to be better, more efficient at killing us. I’m trying to find something, anything that will let us develop a better strategy or weapon to kill them. Maybe even the ones on the other side of the Breach. Because even if we close the Breach, who’s to say they won’t find another way through?"

"Christ, I thought my nightmares were bad now," Raleigh muttered, feeling a bit green around the grills.

"Er, yeah, sorry about that," Newt winced. "It’s totally a concern though. Am I right or am I right?"

"You’re probably right. You told the marshal all this?"

"The cloning thing, yeah. I tried on the rest... He’s really fixated on closing the Breach solving all our problems," Newt shrugged.

"Closing the Breach would give us all some breathing room."

"Or the guys with the money could just declare it a done deal and send us all home with pats on the head for a good job," Newt said sarcastically. He shrugged at Raleigh’s look. "The jaeger program isn’t the only one whose funding was cut in favor of that stupid Wall. Seriously? Who would think that building a three hundred foot wall would work to keep out monsters that have leveled cities? When have walls ever worked?" Newt shook his head. Catching sight of the clock on the wall, he gave a start. "Wow! Is that the time? What are you even doing up, man? Don’t you have people to, like, beat up or something in the morning? Shouldn’t you be sleeping?"

Raleigh half-laughed. "I should be but I can’t. Insomnia or nightmares. Take your pick on which it is tonight."

"Huh. Yeah, I heard that can be an issue for some of you." Newt scratched at the back of his head. "I don’t know if it’ll help or anything but the couch in the corner there is pretty comfortable and I can grab you one of Herm’s math journals. They always put me right to sleep. Maybe, you know, not being alone will help?"

Raleigh stared at him, trying to figure out why he was making the offer. His gaze automatically dipped to try and determine the scientist’s status. Understanding dawned on Newt’s face and he pulled out his red pendant. 

"Beta, man. Totally not trying to alpha you. I promise. You helped me," he waved his bandaged hand, "so I thought I’d return the favor. All up to you."

"It better be a comfortable couch," Raleigh said mock-sternly. He really didn’t feel like returning to his quarters right then and who knew? Maybe the noise of someone else around would help him sleep.

"It is! The best!" Newt assured him with a big grin. He eagerly led him over to a big battered brown leather couch covered in scientific journals, blankets, and a couple of pillows. Newt dumped the journals on the floor and shook out the blankets. "Here you go. You want I should turn down my music? Or I could maybe find something else that I can work to without bothering you?"

"It’s fine. If I can sleep at all this won’t bother me." Raleigh dropped down onto the couch to pull off his boots. "Thanks. Hey, what about you? Shouldn’t you be asleep?"

"Nah, man," Newt grinned at him, already bouncing back to what he’d been working on. "End of the world and all that. I need to get this done if I’m gonna do my part to stop the apocalypse."

"Uh-huh," Raleigh looked doubtfully at the jumbled mess as he lay down. A couple adjustments and he fell right asleep.

~~~~~~

"Ranger Becket."

Raleigh ignored the voice calling his name, snuggling further under his blanket.

"Ranger Becket," the voice repeated more insistently, accompanied by a finger poking his shoulder. He pried open one eye to glare at the slightly familiar face staring down at him.

"Wha?"

The man moved so he was almost out of Raleigh’s field of vision before pointing with his cane at something across the room. "Do you not have somewhere you need to be shortly?" The man asked.

It took Raleigh a second to realize he was looking at a clock. Then the time registered.

Seven twenty-five AM.

Raleigh’s eyes widened comically.

"Shit! I’m gonna be late!" The blanket went flying as he rolled off the couch. Grabbing his boots, he didn’t bother putting them on, just ran for the door. "Thanks, Doc," he shouted over his shoulder without slowing down.

"Huh? Wha?" Newt jerked awake, raising his head from the exam table he’d fallen asleep on. He looked blearily at Hermann. "Herm?"

Hermann rolled his eyes, stalking to his chalkboards to resume working.

*** * ***

Despite the fact that he was about to trounce his 26th candidate that morning, the marshal remained impassive. Mako seemed the most irritated by his lack of success.

And there it was again. Her lips twisted in a small moue of disgust as he tossed the latest candidate, a young Chinese man, to the mats. Stepping back and planting the end of his bō staff, he glared at her.

"That’s it. Every time a match ends, you make this annoyed little face," he mimicked her. "You picked all of these candidates for me. What’s your problem with them?"

"My problem is not with them," Mako bit out. "It is with you. You could have ended every single one of these matches two moves earlier. You are holding back."

Raleigh shrugged because he was holding back. "You think you can do better? Prove it."

The painfully hopeful look she turned on the marshal twisted something in his stomach. It had been a long time since he’d felt that kind of emotion. He wanted to shout at her that she shouldn’t count on him, he’d let her down in the end. Raleigh almost sighed in relief when MarshalPentecost shook his head no.

"You’re not ready, Mako," he told her.

As relieved as he’d been a moment before, Raleigh felt a surge of anger rush through him at those words. How could he have let her go so far in training if he was going to deny her even the chance to try? It felt like deliberate cruelty to Raleigh.

"I thought she was your best and brightest, sir?" Raleigh found himself goading Marshal Pentecost before thinking it through. "Afraid she won’t measure up?"

The look Marshal Pentecost gave him would have had him backing down if he’d still cared what the man thought of him. Instead, he raised his chin defiantly. For all of Mako’s bravado and training, there was every chance they wouldn’t be compatible and it wasn’t like any of the other candidates had worked. 

Still glaring at Raleigh, Marshal Pentecost gave a clipped nod. The brief joyful smile Mako gave Marshal Pentecost lit up the room. When she stepped onto the mat, having lined her boots neatly with the mat’s edge, she was all business, expression serious.

"I will not hold back," she informed him, swinging the bō into position.

"Neither will I," he responded, which, honestly, was a big fat lie until he’d seen what she was capable of. There was a softness and pride in the marshal’s eye every time he looked at her. She was more than just a talented subordinate to him. For all his posturing to the marshal, the last thing Raleigh wanted to do was hurt someone the man clearly cared for.

He held position, waiting for her to make the first move. When she did, she moved with a speed he wasn’t expecting, allowing her to get inside his defense.

"Point," she smirked at him. He nodded, barely waiting for her to bring her bō back to position before coming in with a maneuver Yancy had frequently used on him. She blinked in surprise at the sight of his bō resting against her ribs.

"Point," he returned the smirk. This time as he brought his bō back to first position he was ready for her to move. They traded blows back and forth, staves blurring as they searched for an opening in the other’s defense. Slowly, they racked up points against each other until Raleigh managed to catch her with a sweep, only to be surprised when she took him down with her and locked him with a leg bar.

"Enough," Marshal Pentecost announced as they lay panting on the mats. Exchanging smiles, they scrambled to their feet to face him. “I’ve seen all I need.”

"I’d say we’ve found my new copilot," Raleigh grinned, clasping her on the shoulder, only to have it fade slightly when Marshal Pentecost glared at him.

"No," the man said then turned on his heel and walked away without another word. Mako slumped, pleased expression falling.

"Mako," Raleigh started. She wouldn’t look at him though, simply gathered her things and fled the kwoon. The gathered crowds quickly dispersed as well. Letting out a frustrated sigh, he turned to gather his things only to find Chuck once again watching him with a satisfied little smirk. Raleigh bit back the urge to snarl at him. He should have just stayed on the damn Wall. Grabbing his stuff, Raleigh returned to his bunk, not wanting to deal with anyone else.

*** * ***

A couple hours later, Raleigh was halfway through a set of fifty pushups when there was another knock on his door. He let out a sigh but went to open it, finding another runner standing there with a box of food from the smells wafting up from it. His stomach let out a rumble, making the kid smirk.

"Ranger Hansen said to stop skipping meals and the marshal said to report to your conn-pod at 1300 for first trial run," the kid informed him as he handed over the box. Once again the kid took off before Raleigh could do more than say thanks.

Sighing, he retreated into his room. He really had to talk to Herc about this mother-henning. He could just imagine Chuck blowing a gasket when he found out and Raleigh didn’t need or want to deal with that. The food did smell good though.

Opening it up, he found soup and other light foods, nothing overly rich, and an assortment of fruit he could easily keep in his room for later. He idly wondered if the doctor had talked to someone in the kitchen or Herc had just made a lucky guess on what to order him. Without asking the man, he wouldn’t know, so instead he turned his thoughts to the trial run. Marshal Pentecost must have picked someone from the candidates that morning but who? None of them had come even close to meshing as well with him as Mako had.

It was clear that the marshal wanted to protect her. Raleigh would be the first to admit putting Mako in a jaeger with him, or anyone else for that matter, was not the way to do that. Yet she had all the training. Fifty-one drops with fifty-one kills was impressive, even for a simulator score. She’d spent over a year rebuilding Gipsy Danger with the impression that she’d pilot her. Why allow her to go through all that if he never intended to let her pilot? Raleigh couldn’t help wondering if the marshal would be less opposed to Mako piloting if it were anyone else but him as the copilot.

_Reckless insubordination. Are you even listening to me, Mr. Beckett? Because of you..._

Raleigh shoved away the container of soup, nausea roiling in his gut. This whole thing was just a bad idea. His head was such a mess there was no way he was going to be able to hold a stable Drift. On top of that, someone else was going to have a front row seat to just how messed up Raleigh really was. He briefly wondered if he could make it out of the Shatterdome without anyone noticing, but just as quickly discarded the idea. Ignoring the fact he was in a foreign country where he only spoke a smattering of words, Raleigh was tired of running. He would see this thing through to its bitter end and hopefully Yancy would be waiting for him on the other side.

*** * ***

Raleigh was in the suit room by 1230 in hopes of seeing whom Marshal Pentecost had decided on for him. He’d hoped that if he had a chance to talk to them first, the initial sync up would go smoothly. He was trying not to think about it but there was every chance he’d end up chasing a RABIT in the beginning. The question was would he be able to catch himself or would he drag his new copilot along for a not so fun ride in his head?

In the drive suit room, he remained quiet for the most part, only speaking if the techs asked him a question. He was relieved to see that his new armor was a non-matte black rather than the white ones he and Yancy had worn.

_Don’t get cocky, kid._

Raleigh wondered who had made the decision to change the suits. It wasn’t that he wasn’t grateful. He really didn’t know if he would have been able to hold it together seeing the old suits.

"Ranger Becket?"

He looked up to find a tech in front of him, holding his helmet. He tried to smile but it must have been very pathetic based on the sad one she gave him in return.

"Good luck," she said, holding out the helmet. He took it with another feeble smile but didn’t put it on. Instead, he headed towards the conn-pod staging area as he continued to wonder who his copilot would be. He couldn’t help hoping that it wasn’t an alpha. Yancy had been his alpha guardian, his family. He didn’t want someone else taking that place in his head. Though he wouldn’t entirely put it past Marshal Pentecost to think he needed an alpha to keep him in line.

Stepping into the conn-pod felt like stepping back in time. He could see the ghosts of himself and Yancy as they stepped into the drive mechanisms. He watched as they bantered back and forth through the prelaunch checklist. Raleigh wanted to yell at them, to warn them of what was about to happen. It was just a memory though. As much as he wanted to, there was no changing the past.

With a shake, Raleigh pulled himself free of the memory. Instead he forced himself to walk through the pod, focusing on the changes that had been made, and re-familiarized himself with his favorite lady.

He was standing on what had always been Yancy’s side when he heard the clump of approaching boots. He didn’t turn to look, suddenly finding himself unready to see who it was. "I’ll take this side if you don’t mind. My left arm is still a bit iffy."

"Sure."

Raleigh’s head snapped around at the sound of Mako’s voice. She stood next to the left side harness in a drive suit, smiling shyly. He returned it with a grin of his own. He was happy that she was finally getting the chance she deserved, but at the same time, he was concerned that he would screw this up for her.

"Aren’t you going to say anything?" she asked.

"You look good," he smiled. "I’m glad he’s giving you this chance."

Mako nodded slightly in acknowledgement.

As they stepped into the drive mechanisms and the harnesses were attached, he debated saying something. She’d drifted in the simulators numerous times but there was a big difference between simulations and his messed up brain. Hell, even just Drifting with someone who didn’t have the same level of trauma he did. He took a deep breath.

"I haven’t Drifted since Yancy died," he said, looking at her, willing her to understand. "I’m going to do my best not to chase the RABIT but I might need your help to pull me out of it. It’s not fair to you, I know, but..."

"We all have pain in our past," she said, her voice full of understanding. "I will help all that I can."

"Thanks," he gave her another grin. "Ready?"

"Ready," she agreed.

Raleigh reached forward to toggle the comms. "Ready when you are LOCCENT."

"Let’s get this show on the road then, Becket boy," Tendo easily responded. "Neural handshake in three, two, one." 

Raleigh felt the familiar rush of linking to another person’s mind, only it was all wrong. These memories weren’t familiar. These weren’t shared memories with Yancy. These were Mako’s memories. He could do this. He could let her in. He let the rush of happy childhood memories interspersed with her time in the Academy and working on Gipsy Danger flow by him. Raleigh tried to concentrate on his own few happy memories but the others crept in.

_Raleigh, listen to me._

_If we had known you were pregnant..._

_Nothing but a useless bitch now._

_Reckless insubordination._

"And we have a connection!" Tendo’s voice caused Raleigh’s eyes to snap open, bringing him to the present. "The Drift is holding strong. Calibrating now."

It was easy to fall into sync with Mako as the system calibrated each hemisphere and they moved Gipsy into a fighting stance.

"Looking good. Alright, kids, let’s try a few warm up maneuvers," Tendo instructed. 

That’s when it all went sideways.

Raleigh looked over at Mako to share a grin, only she wasn’t there. He was staring at himself in his white drive suit, already blackened in places from sparking circuitry, his left arm hanging useless.

_“Yancy!”_ he was shouting.

Pain blossomed across his body as he was pulled away from his younger self.

"Raleigh!" Tendo’s voice was in his ear. "You’re chasing the RABIT!" 

_What?_

"Snap out of it, kid."

As quickly as it started, Raleigh was back in the conn-pod in the here and now. Even without Tendo shouting at him, he knew Mako had chased her own RABIT. This was all his fault.

"Mako! Listen to me," he called to her, desperate to pull her out of the nightmare that had caught her. "It’s just a memory, Mako. You need to let it go. Let it go, Mako."

Then he was there with her. Only it wasn’t adult Mako in front of him. She looked to be about ten years old, dressed in a blue wool coat while clutching a red patent leather shoe in her tiny little hands. They were surrounded by a ruined city. It took Raleigh a moment to place it as Tokyo. He heard the roar first, watching her small body jump in terror, and then the kaiju was there. This was the Onibaba attack. He hadn’t realized she was there and certainly not this close.

He kept trying to pull them out, to get them back into alignment, but the memory had too strong of a hold on her. He could only watch as Onibaba chased her, as Coyote Tango took it out, as Mako got her first look at Stacker Pentecost.

Abruptly the connection cut off, throwing them out of each other’s heads and back into the conn-pod. They must have cut the connection directly in LOCCENT, Raleigh realized even as he was throwing off the harness. He had to get to Mako.

"Mako?! Talk to me, Mako!"

She was hanging limply in her harness, her hands moving feebly. Raleigh finished unhooking himself, rushing to her side. He carefully supported her as he unhooked her harness, gently lowering them to the floor once she was free. He pulled off her helmet then tucked her head beneath his chin, holding her tightly.

"I’ve got you," he whispered. "I’ve got you. I’m so sorry. So, so sorry. All my fault. All my fault. So sorry. All my fault."

He was still whispering his guilt into her hair when the techs rushed in.


	5. Chapter 5

After Medical had cleared them, they stood outside the marshal’s office, listening to Chuck throw a fit. They couldn’t hear everything through the thick steel door but it was enough to have Mako curling in on herself despite her attempt to stand at attention. Raleigh paced beside her, throttling the urge to storm in there and punch Chuck Hansen’s face.

The kid was a good Ranger, a good fighter, and deserved recognition for that. It wasn’t something Raleigh would try to deny, but Chuck was an arrogant jackass who had no right to talk about them, about _Mako_ the way he was. Yeah, she was a rookie. Marshal Pentecost had never given her the chance to be anything else. Now, she’d been partnered with a damaged has-been who was barely keeping himself together. Expecting their first Drift together to be perfect was kind of like expecting the kaiju to just seal up the Breach and go home on their own. In other words, not going to happen.

"I won’t have them on my bomb run!"

Raleigh halted next to Mako, as the office door was yanked open. Chuck stormed out, his scowl deepening to a sneer when he saw them. For a brief second, Raleigh thought he saw a flash of jealousy on Chuck’s face but decided he had to have imagined it. Besides, why would Chuck be jealous of them?

Instead, he concentrated on keeping his temper in check. He was already in trouble and beating the pulp out of one of the key pilots in Marshal Pentecost’s plan wouldn’t be a good idea.

"Oi," Herc’s voice drew all their attention back to the doorway. "Stay there," he pointed at Chuck before closing the door again. As soon as it shut, Chuck rounded on them.

"You two are a goddamned disgrace," Chuck snarled, looking from one to the other. "You nearly got us all killed because you couldn’t keep your shit together."

If Raleigh’s gaze hadn’t been fixed on the far wall in an attempt to keep his temper, he would’ve noticed these words were directed at Mako. Instead he took them to heart, one more stone of guilt to add to the pile. Outwardly he didn’t react, knowing it was what Chuck wanted. He just mentally repeated, _I’m a Ranger. I control my emotions. They don’t control me. I will not punch the brat in the face._

Chuck took a step closer, clearly not happy about being ignored. "How the hell am I supposed to trust you to watch my back if I have to worry that you’re off chasing a bloody RABIT? Because I don’t know about you two but I want to come back from this mission. I’ve got plans for my life that I intend to see through. So if you’re not going to be part of the solution stay the hell out of the conn-pod." Chuck flicked him in the chest with his finger. "Are you listening to me, Becket?"

_Are you listening to me, Mr. Becket?_

The glare Raleigh gave him had the younger man faltering for a brief second. Unaware of the danger, he blundered on, “I won’t coddle useless..."

_Useless bitch._

Raleigh didn’t even consciously make the decision before his fist slammed into Chuck’s face, forcing him back several steps in surprise. He dimly heard Mako’s shocked shout, paying little attention to her. He advanced on Chuck who was wiping the blood from his split lip.

"Apologize to her," Raleigh demanded.

"I’m not apologizin’ to your little girlfriend," Chuck growled.

"I said, apologize to her," Raleigh growled back, advancing another step.

"Screw you," Chuck snapped, launching a punch at Raleigh.

Raleigh deflected the wide swing, but instead of going on the offensive, he continued to simply deflect. The part of him that wasn’t pissed off over Chuck’s insults to Mako found it hard to believe the young alpha was this sloppy of a fighter, which could only mean he was holding back. That pissed Raleigh off even more. He let loose another staggering punch that knocked Chuck into the wall.

Bouncing off the wall, Chuck growled, rolling his shoulders. Just as he launched himself forward again, Herc was between them, stopping Chuck in his tracks.

"Enough!" Marshal Pentecost barked from behind them. Raleigh twisted so that he could see the marshal without turning his back on the Hansens. He winced at the expression on Marshal Pentecost’s face. He was not a happy man, and yet there was something calculating there that gave Raleigh pause. It was only a brief look, long enough to make Raleigh wonder if he’d actually seen it.

"I have had enough of this fighting between you two. You are Rangers and it is time that you started acting like it." He shifted his glare from Raleigh to Chuck. "Tomorrow morning at 0800, you will settle this in the kwoon. And it will end there. Am I understood?"

The two young men glanced at each other, and then nodded in grudging agreement. That wasn’t enough for the marshal, who turned and lifted two fingers to his ear.

"Yes, sir," they both ground out, sharing another glare.

"Good. Becket, Mori, my office now," Marshal Pentecost ordered, raising an eyebrow when Raleigh hesitated. Raleigh glanced quickly at the Hansens, at Chuck, and then followed Mako.

"Herc, I’d like to see you in thirty minutes," Raleigh heard Marshal Pentecost say as he stepped into the office. He didn’t hear Herc’s response.

Inside, Mako immediately sat down in one of the chairs, head bowed, hands folded in her lap, the perfect picture of contrition and obedience. Raleigh paced beside his chair, still keyed up over his confrontation with Chuck. He wasn’t looking forward to this conversation with the marshal either.

"Sir," he started as soon as Marshal Pentecost had closed the door, stopping at the upraised hand.

"You will sit down and be quiet, Ranger Becket, until I am ready for you to speak. Understood?" Marshal Pentecost said, voice deceptively calm.

Raleigh started to protest but Mako’s hand on his wrist stopped him. "Yes, sir," he said grudgingly and sat down.

Marshal Pentecost waited a moment as if expecting another outburst. When none came, he moved to the Japanese tea service set up on a side table. He spent a couple of minutes carefully preparing a cup for himself. Mako never so much as twitched but with each passing moment she seemed to get smaller and smaller. Raleigh watched with mounting anger. Marshal Pentecost had done the same thing to him after Yancy’s death. He hated this passive-aggressive bullshit meant to make you feel worse than you already did.

Finally Marshal Pentecost turned back to them, his voice measured and precise when he spoke. "In light of what happened today, it is my decision that you are grounded until further notice."

"Sir, it was my fault," Raleigh insisted, muscles tensing with the need to pace. "I went out of alignment first. I caused this. You can’t blame Mako."

"I don’t."

Out of the corner of his eye, Raleigh saw Mako’s head snap up in surprise. He started to speak but the marshal wasn’t done.

"Yes, you did go out of alignment first but the only person I blame is myself. I should never have allowed the two of you in a conn-pod together."

Raleigh and Mako both flinched as if they’d been hit. Raleigh recovered first.

"With all due respect, _sir_. Mako and I are Drift compatible and …"

"I am aware of that, Mr. Becket, but we both know there is more to piloting than Drift compatibility."

"And we can’t get there if we’re not allowed to Drift together. Sir."

"Nevertheless, my decision stands."

Mako rose to her feet, head bowed, hands clenched at her sides. "Permission to be dismissed, sir."

Raleigh’s heart ached at the tremulous quality to her voice, making him that much angrier with the marshal.

"Permission denied, Miss Mori," Marshal Pentecost said gently.

That gentleness was like kerosene to Raleigh’s anger. How could he act like he wasn’t destroying her dream just because he wanted to keep her safe and protected? There was no such thing as safe or protected in a world with the kaiju in it. Surging to his feet beside Mako, he glared fiercely at the marshal.

"I saw Mako’s memories, sir. I understand what she means to you. You can’t ground her just..."

"You understand nothing, Mr. Becket," Marshal Pentecost snapped. "Seeing a few memories doesn’t mean you know me or why I’ve made the decisions I have. You were brought here for one purpose and one purpose only. Without a copilot that you can hold a stable Drift with, you cannot fulfill that purpose. Right now the only thing I want from you is your obedience. Not your thoughts or your opinions. Just obedience. If you cannot do that, then you are of no use to me. Am I understood?"

_Reckless insubordination. Are you listening to me, Mr. Becket? Because of you a good pilot, your brother, is dead and a jaeger has been scrapped. All because you wanted to play boy hero._

"Am I understood, Mr. Becket?"

Raleigh snapped back to the present to find Marshal Pentecost mere inches from him.

"Yes, sir," he ground out, barely restraining the urge to lash out with his fists.

"Good," Marshal Pentecost nodded shortly, moving to his desk. "You are dismissed, Mr. Becket."

With a sideways glance towards Mako, who nodded slightly, Raleigh stormed from the room, the door slamming behind him.

*** * ***

Stalking through the halls of the Shatterdome, Raleigh didn’t know where he was going until he found himself at the door of the gym complex. He wasn’t wearing workout clothes; at this point he really didn’t care. He stripped off his sweater and boots, tossing them to the side as he approached the punching bag he’d used the day he arrived, grabbing the roll of boxing tape off of the wall-mounted ledge near where the bag hung. Once his hands were taped, he laid into the bag, happily imagining it was Marshal Pentecost in front of him.

He couldn’t believe the marshal had all but admitted the only reason he’d brought Raleigh in was as cannon fodder for his run on the Breach. Raleigh knew he’d come here to commit suicide by kaiju. He knew Marshal Pentecost didn’t think much of him – the worthless omega who got his alpha brother killed – yet he’d found himself believing... Raleigh shook his head. It didn’t matter anymore. Marshal Pentecost had said it. He was here for one purpose and one purpose only. 

He was covered in sweat with little sign of slowing down when he registered someone standing close by. Looking up, he was surprised to find one of the Wei triplets watching him, a bō staff in his hand. It was the first time any of them had approached him. Grabbing the swinging bag, Raleigh raised his eyebrows. "Can I help you?"

"You are man in need of fight. We are happy to help."

Raleigh shook his head. "Thanks but I don’t think it’s a good idea. I’d probably hurt someone right now."

The Wei triplet shrugged. "One to one maybe. Two to one tag team not likely. You can try. My brothers are always looking for a challenge."

Chewing on his lip, Raleigh considered it then nodded. Two against one, even going all out he wasn’t likely to beat them. Or hurt them. "Sure. Why not. Standard rules?"

"Works for us," the other man grinned, falling into step with him. "I am Jin. My brothers are Cheung and Hu."

"Nice to meet you," Raleigh nodded then shook his head. "You do realize I’m never going to be able to tell you apart, right?"

"Is easy. I am handsome one," Jin laughed, running his hand over his shaved head as if slicking back hair.

"Ha! You mean ugly one," one of his brothers jibed as they entered the kwoon. "I am Hu, the handsome one. That is Cheung, the old one."

Cheung snapped something in Cantonese that had Hu and Jin laughing. Raleigh shook his head and went to pick out his own bō staff. Satisfied with his selection, he moved to the middle of the mats. An experimental twirl and he settled into the ready position with a feral grin that would make Sasha proud.

"Who’s first?"

Jin and Cheung stepped onto the mats. It was the last time he knew which one was which.

*** * ***

Stacker quietly regarded the daughter of his heart as she stood before him. Her head was bowed respectfully but her slim hands were clenched tightly at her sides; the only outward sign of her anger.

"Mako..."

"Permission to speak freely, sir?" she interrupted, head still bowed.

"Permission granted," he said with a soft sigh.

Her head came up allowing him to see the fury blazing in her eyes. "How could you, Sensei?"

"Mako...."

"How could you blame Raleigh for his brother’s death?"

"Mako..."

"Do you know the damage you did to him?" she demanded, taking a step forward.

"I am aware," he said. 

Thrown by the comment, Mako stared at him.

In the silence that fell, Stacker continued, "I was angry because Yancy Becket’s death should never have happened. I was angry because I knew they were reckless and yet I had not done all that I could do to rein that in."

Stacker shook his head at the memory. Even after all these years, the shame of his actions still burned in his heart. He looked up at Mako. Her fury had been banked, tempered by disappointment he had never wanted to see in her eyes. "By the time I realized he was not the one I was angry with, Raleigh had already left the Shatterdome and the PPDC, vanishing without a trace. It seemed better at the time to let him go."

She bit her bottom lip, an old habit he hadn’t seen in many years.

"What is it, Mako?"

She still hesitated, uncertain about her next words, but chose to speak. "Did you know that his injuries from the attack caused him to miscarry?"

Stacker went completely rigid in shock, his body going hot then cold at all the possible implications. Finally, he said, "Raleigh Becket would not have been allowed anywhere near a conn-pod if he was pregnant. Nor was he bonded with an alpha at that time."

"He did not know he was pregnant," she said softly, "until the doctors informed him he had miscarried. He was less than a month along. You know that an omega does not need to be bonded to become pregnant. Most simply prefer to be before becoming so." She looked away for a moment, anger tightening her features. "The alpha," she spat, "blamed him for it, blamed him for his brother’s death. He called Raleigh poison, worthless and a useless," Mako’s mouth snapped shut but Stacker could imagine the slur used.

"Do we know who this alpha is?" He asked keeping his voice calm despite every instinct in him clamoring for violence.

"Hai." Mako gave him a knowing look. "He was a jaeger tech working on Gipsy Danger’s crew. Within six months of her loss, he was let go for sub-par workmanship as well as refusing to take his prescribed inhibitors. He was sent home in disgrace."

"Good." He relaxed only marginally. A knock at the door prevented him from saying more on the subject. "Enter."

The door opened and Herc stepped inside, his gaze sweeping over them both, sharp blue eyes missing little. "You wanted to see me, Marshal? Miss Mori." He gave her a respectful nod that she returned. 

"Yes. You are dismissed, Miss Mori." Stacker returned her formal bow before watching her leave.

"Right. What’s got you in such a strop?" Herc asked the minute the door closed behind her. Stacker sat on the edge of his desk, hands clasping the edge in a tight grip.

"I’ve made mistakes, old friend."

Herc snorted, dropping into a chair facing him. "We all make mistakes, Stacks. Particularly when it comes to our kids. The best we can do is hope we don’t screw them up too badly. Mako’s got a good head on her shoulders."

Stacker allowed a brief paternal smile to cross his face. "She’s not the one I have so badly wronged. I need to know that I’m not about to make another mistake."

"You want to quit pussyfooting around and tell me what’s on your mind then? Can’t tell you yes or no if I don’t know what the problem is."

"Chuck and Raleigh’s match in the kwoon is more than an attempt to force them into settling their differences," he said quietly.

Herc snapped upright from his slouched position, pinning Stacker with a hard look. "You want to see if they’re Drift compatible. Are you daft? What about Mako? Hell, what about me?"

Stacker remained quiet allowing Herc to work it out for himself, confident he would.

"Oh hell, you want me to Drift with Mako because I’m pretty much universally compatible and you think I’ll protect her better than Raleigh. You realize she’ll probably get an eyeful of you and me since you’re our common denominator."

“I want you to Drift with her because you have experience holding a steady connection with an inexperienced copilot,” Stacker said. “As for getting an eyeful, Mako is an intelligent girl who is aware of our relationship. I am sure she can handle whatever she might see in the Drift.”

“So says the man who’s never had to Drift with their own kid,” Herc snorted. “Knowing your dad is having sex is completely different from seeing your dad have sex. Even secondhand.”

“I trust Mako to be a professional.”

“Never said she wouldn’t be but I will say I told you so when she can’t look at you without blushing.” Herc grinned before sobering and leaning forward to plant his elbows on his knees. “Please tell me you’re not separating Mako and Raleigh because you blame him for his brother’s death, Stacker.”

“This isn’t about my overprotective tendencies when it comes to Mako. I would not risk this mission for that.”

Herc’s look was eloquent in its disbelief.

Stacker didn’t bother to argue; they’d known each other too long and too well for that. Instead, he said, “The more important question I have is just how deep do you believe Chuck’s animosity for Raleigh goes? Do you think they can achieve a stable Drift without tearing each other apart?"

Herc rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "I don’t know. He idolized Gipsy and the Beckets, Raleigh in particular. Youngest pilot ever. So cocksure that people actually questioned his status as an omega."

Stacker nodded. None of this was new to him.

"Chuck was fourteen when we watched those boys take down Yamarashi. I’ll never forget him turning to me and saying that when he was a pilot, Raleigh would be his copilot and bonded mate. When Knifehead happened, he wanted to go to Anchorage, insisting Raleigh needed him. Then Raleigh pulled a runner and Chuck just shut down. He refused to talk about him at all. Even in the Drift, it was like Raleigh never existed." Herc shook his head.

"I honestly don’t know what to tell you. The boy’s been running hot and cold ever since he first saw him when we got here. They’re either going to be really strong together or they’re going to blow this place apart and save the kaiju the trouble."

Stacker couldn’t help making a snort of agreement. He’d have to remember to make sure Gipsy’s weapons were offline this time when they did the trial.

“Why are you so determined for Chuck and Raleigh to be Drift compatible? Raleigh and Mako are far more stable. Today’s little incident aside.”

“Today’s little incident nearly killed us all, Herc.” Stacker shook his head. “If we had more time, if we could run them through simulations, they might be able to establish a steady partnership. That’s time we do not have and there is too much trauma in both their pasts that is too similar. We cannot take the chance that one or both will chase a RABIT during combat.”

“I can see that point but Chuck and Raleigh can’t even be in the same room with each other without getting into an argument.”

“Did you know that Nova Hyperion’s pilots An Yuna and Pang So-Yi were rival competitors for spots on the South Korean Olympic fencing team before they joined the Academy? Even at the Academy, they continued their rivalry until they were matched as Drift compatible.”

“Chuck and Raleigh are not An Yuna and Pang So-Yi.”

“Perhaps not. Perhaps they are. I know this is a long shot, Herc. I know that they might not be Drift compatible tomorrow and we’ll be back where we started: hoping that Mako and Raleigh can hold a steady Drift.”

“We still have a Shatterdome full of pilot candidates,” Herc pointed out.

“No.” Stacker shook his head. “The fewer inexperienced pilots on this mission the better. Nor will I take this chance away from Mako unless there is no other choice.”

“Alright,” Herc sighed and rose to his feet. He stepped in front of Stacker, the toes of his boots pressing against the toes of Stacker’s dress shoes. “There’s something you’re not telling me, some plan you’ve got in your head that you’re playing close to the chest. I trust you. I’ve trusted you all these years and I’m not going to stop now. But if this hurts my boy…”

“You know I would never intentionally hurt him.”

“That I do,” Herc agreed, “but some things still need to be said. Now it’s about lunchtime so I say we go grab some food then come back here. We’ll eat and I’ll pretend to help you with your paperwork.”

“Distract me, you mean,” Stacker said, rising to his feet and putting them bare inches from each other.

Herc grinned. “Something like that, Stacks.”

Stacker refrained from heaving a great sigh as Herc about-faced and strolled out the door of his office. Some days he truly wondered about the sanity of them all.

*** * ***

Leaving her adoptive father and commanding officer’s office, Mako debated what to do. She knew Raleigh was hurting, both from Sensei’s words and Chuck’s. She wanted to go to him, yet she felt something should be said to Chuck. He had been allowed too much leeway, she felt, and she was tired of him taking his anger out on someone who did not deserve it. Resolute, she turned towards Chuck’s quarters. If he was not there, she would keep looking until she found him.

At the correct door, she knocked firmly then stepped back to wait. She was about to knock again when the door was yanked open. Chuck scowled down at her.

"What?" he demanded.

Mako raised an eyebrow. Chuck leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. She stared at him, gaze steady, expression calm. Chuck growled and stepped aside, letting her in.

"What do you want, Mori?" he demanded, closing the door behind her, then leaned back against it.

Mako stepped into the middle of the room, hands clasped in front of her as she turned to face him. "You will apologize to Raleigh, Chuck. What you said was unacceptable."

"Hell I will! Besides, I’ve said worse to you," he pointed out mulishly.

She gave him a pitying look. "Yes, but I know you and I do not have the history that he does."

"And? So what? We’ve all got history. I should just tiptoe around him because he lost his brother? He comes here acting like he’s going to be the big hero. Like we need him to save the bloody day. He ran, Mako. He ran leaving me... I mean, leaving everyone who was counting on him behind. He shouldn’t be anywhere near a conn-pod."

"Oh, Chuck," Mako said quietly. "Raleigh left because he could not stay."

"What the hell does that mean?" he shouted, moving away from the door. "That makes no sense!"

Mako raised an eyebrow at Chuck’s outburst, and waited until he’d settled again: this time leaning against the kitchenette sink, his arms crossed over his chest as he glared at her. "What I have seen in the Drift is not mine to tell. Just remember he is the only omega to ever be a pilot. You should apologize to him and when you face him tomorrow you must face him as an equal. Do not hold back. Do not treat him as lesser. He will not thank you for it."

"Damn right I won’t hold back tomorrow,” Chuck said, lifting his chin up high. We’ll see whose ass gets kicked, won’t we?"

Mako graced him with a genuine smile, bowing her head. "Good. I will see you tomorrow in the kwoon."

Moving to the door, she paused with her hand on the latch then turned back to him. "When I first met Raleigh, I told him that I studied his fighting technique and his battles against the kaiju extensively and he asked what my opinion was. I... I told him I thought he was reckless and that I did not believe he was the right person for this mission."

She smiled wryly at Chuck’s surprised look. "He did not deny it. But he said something that has made me think."

"Yeah? What’s that?" Chuck asked, staring at the floor. 

Mako did not believe his attempt to appear uninterested. "He said sometimes you make the wrong decision and it is something you have to live with for the rest of your life." She paused to let it sink in, then added, "Do not make the wrong decision tomorrow."

She slipped out of the room before Chuck could respond.


	6. Chapter 6

Raleigh stepped into the main area of the mess hall, food tray in hand, and immediately felt like a bug under a microscope when seemingly everyone turned to stare at him. He was desperately looking for Sasha and Aleksis, completely unashamed of the thought of using them as shields, but they were nowhere to be found. He was getting ready to head towards the Weis when everyone’s focus shifted to the other side of the hall and Mako who’d just entered with her own food tray. She stared, taken aback by all the attention suddenly on her. Sensing him, her gaze lifted to his and he gestured with his head towards one of the doors. She bowed her head in acknowledgement, clearly grateful for the offer of escape.

They met by the door and he let her precede him. Mako led him to another platform overlooking Gipsy. It was two floors down from the one he’d been on yesterday if he had to guess. This one had no railing, allowing them a completely unobstructed view of Gipsy.

"What happened to your cheek?" She frowned at him when they were settled, her fingers ghosting over the new bruise. "You did not get this from your fight with Chuck."

"Nah. One of the Wei triplets got a lucky hit in." He ducked his head then grinned impishly at her. "I weaved when I should have ducked."

Her frown deepened. "Why were you fighting with the Wei triplets?"

"We were sparring not fighting. I needed to vent after, well, after and they offered."

"Boys," she muttered, ignoring his laugh, turning her attention to her food and Gipsy. Some last minute work was being done on the jaeger that required several of her chest panels to be removed, exposing her nuclear core.

"Her heart," Mako said quietly. "When was the last time you saw it?"

"It’s been awhile," he replied. It was an inspiring sight. He looked at Mako, who appeared totally engrossed in the sight, yet he knew she was completely aware of him. He let out a sigh. "I’m sorry about today."

"Do not be," she looked at him sympathetic and caring, yet regretful.

"I am. If I’d... I should have told you that it was more than just me in my head. It was Yancy’s memory. His pain and fear as..."

"I know. I felt it too. No one living should know what it feels like to die."

"No, they shouldn’t," he agreed, looking away to Gipsy. Mako’s sympathy was too much to bear in that moment.

"Raleigh, I am..." She paused to carefully choose her words. "The death of your brother; the loss of your child..."

Raleigh scrambled to his feet. He didn’t want to hear this. Mako scrambled to her feet as well, grabbing his arm before he could get too far.

"It was not your fault," she told him.

"Yes."

"No," Mako cut him off sharply, fiercely. "It was not your fault. You did not know."

"That’s not an excuse," Raleigh snapped, flinching away as soon as he said it, gaze averted. He continued more quietly though no less convinced, "Not knowing isn’t an excuse. We should have checked the kaiju. I should have known my own body well enough to know. I should have known."

_What kind of omega are you? Nothing but._

"No."

Raleigh’s gaze snapped to her.

"You need to stop listening to the past. It was not your fault and that man who rejected you, who hurt you like that doesn’t deserve to be an alpha. He is a small, petty man who was dismissed for subpar work and conduct unbecoming."

"You looked him up?" Raleigh asked, surprised.

"Yes. I wanted to be certain you would not encounter him. And such a man is not the sort we want here," she told him emphatically, pulling him back towards their food. "Sit and eat. You are too skinny."

Raleigh huffed but did as she told him. It seemed like every alpha he knew, was determined to fatten him up. Every alpha except Chuck and Pentecost. 

"What do you think of your match with Chuck tomorrow?" Mako asked as she carefully reassembled her sandwich.

Raleigh narrowed his eyes at her. Drifting with someone once didn’t tell you everything about them. Especially when that Drift lasted barely an hour. It did, however, let him know that while Mako’s tone was idly curious, she was very interested in his response. The question was why?

"I doubt it’s going to solve anything," he finally responded. "He’ll spout off some insults. I’ll kick his ass. Again. There’ll be some more insults before he stomps off. He’ll glare at me whenever he sees me. Maybe he’ll even try to pick a fight again." Raleigh frowned thoughtfully at his own sandwich before giving her an impish grin. "Do you think I could get him to do it in front of Sasha or Aleksis? I can take care of myself, but I’d love to see him get his ass kicked by Sasha. Aleksis would just lift him up by the scruff and hold him there until Chuck wore himself out. That would be great."

"Raleigh," she chided softly.

"What?" Raleigh laughed. "Tell me that wouldn’t be funny."

She bit her lip trying very hard to look at him sternly in the face of his ridiculous grin. Eventually she gave in, a small smile curling her lips. "It would be funny to see Aleksis holding him up like a disobedient puppy."

"Nah. Chuck would be a dingo," Raleigh waggled his eyebrows, making her shake her head.

"You are horrible," she swatted his arm. She took another dainty bite of her sandwich, contemplating him until she swallowed. "Still, you should not say such things."

"Why not? He’s said far worse things to me." Raleigh put his sandwich down, not hungry anymore. "You know, I really wasn’t expecting any kind of warm welcome when I got here. I know the marshal sure as hell wouldn’t have come looking for me if I hadn’t been the last one left. The omega who got his alpha guardian brother killed. The omega who ran away."

_Because of you…._

_Nothing but a useless bitch._

"Chuck should hate me," Raleigh said, his hands gripping the edge of the platform, staring at the drop before him. "You should all hate me. I should have stayed on the Wall where there was no one to care or care about. I should..."

"No," Mako said forcefully. Pushing aside their trays, she turned so she could throw one leg over his, the other wrapped around his back. She pulled him into her arms cradling him much the same way he had cradled her earlier.

"It is not your fault. It isn’t. Maybe you were reckless, you both were, but even LOCCENT had lost the signal. You had every reason to believe the kaiju was dead. Even if it wasn’t, no one thought it would go for the conn-pod. They had never done that before. It is not your fault."

"If I’d paid more attention though... If I hadn’t let it take out my arm, I could have..."

"No. Do not continue to do this to yourself. You cannot change the past. Thinking about it will drive you mad. It was not your fault and Sensei should never have told you it was. It was wrong of him."

"Mako."

"It was wrong. He knew it then and he knows it now. It was not your fault."

Raleigh sighed, not bothering to argue. She was just as stubborn, if not more, than he was and he really didn’t feel like arguing with her about this. Instead he let himself relax into her embrace, his own arms loosely wrapped around her waist. When her fingers began to gently card through his hair, he wished he could purr. Since he couldn’t, he tightened his arms around her for a moment before relaxing again. He felt her smile against his hair.

They’d been sitting like that for several minutes, simply enjoying the closeness when Mako spoke. "Chuck doesn’t hate you."

Raleigh stiffened then pulled away so he could look her in the eye. "We are talking about the same guy right? Prickly Australian kid who thinks he’s God’s gift to the jaeger program? Refuses to say my name right and loves to point out that I’m a washed up has-been who doesn’t belong in a conn-pod? That Chuck Hansen? I’d say those are pretty clear indicators of hate."

"If Chuck truly hated you, you would know it," Mako insisted.

Raleigh raised his eyebrows. "Why do I feel like there’s a juicy story behind that?"

She gave him a stern look refusing to be thrown off track.

"Fine. Why do you think Chuck doesn’t hate me? He certainly doesn’t like me."

Mako looked away for a moment then back at him. She let out a soft huff. Raleigh was really curious now.

"Chuck and I have known each other since we were children. We grew up in and around the Shatterdomes and jaegers together. Coyote Tango was always my favorite."

"Completely understandable," Raleigh agreed.

"Chuck’s favorite was Gipsy Danger and her pilots," she said quietly.

Raleigh blinked at her. He blinked again and frowned. "So he hates me because I got Yancy killed."

"No!" she said in exasperation, putting her hands on his cheeks. "He liked Yancy, yes, but you were his hero, Raleigh. The omega who didn’t let anyone tell him he couldn’t pilot."

Raleigh shook his head. "Alphas don’t look up to omegas, Mako. We’re not heroes to them."

"And yet you were Chuck’s," Mako insisted. "The youngest pilot ever. The only omega to make it into a jaeger and you were good. Until Knifehead, you were undefeated. He is angry because he put you on a pedestal, only to find out you are human like everyone else. It is a hard lesson to learn and Chuck," Mako shrugged. "Chuck is not good at expressing an emotion that is not anger. You need to be patient with him."

Raleigh barked out a laugh. Right. Patient with the brat. He looked at Mako and her earnest expression.

"Fine," he said earning a bright smile. "I’m still kicking his butt if he holds back in the kwoon tomorrow like he was holding back today."

"I do not think that will be a problem," she said smugly.

"Right," Raleigh drawled, eying her warily.

Mako just smiled at him, pulling him down so she could continue petting him. Feeling a bit like Max, he let her.

*** * ***

"This spar tomorrow with Raleigh."

"What?" Chuck rounded on his father. "You gonna tell me I need to face him with _respect_ too? Ever since he’s gotten here it’s all poor Raleigh or ooh, look, it’s Raleigh Becket the one who’s gonna save the day. What has he done to earn respect? He’s the one that ran. I’ve got ten kaiju kills and he got his brother killed."

Chuck barely even registered his father moving before he found himself pressed back against the wall, one hand holding him place and the other pointed at him. It was the expression on Herc’s face that had Chuck dropping his gaze and tilting his head just enough to indicate submission.

It took Herc a moment to speak, his voice a low growl. "Yancy Becket knew the risks of getting in that conn-pod the same as every other pilot does. The only one responsible for his death is the kaiju. And if I ever hear that you’ve said that shit to Raleigh..."

Herc clenched his jaw, looking away for a moment, before turning back to Chuck who was watching him warily. "I don’t usually compare sob stories. You know that. We’ve all lost someone to the kaiju, but Raleigh has been through more than most. Yancy was the last of Raleigh’s family. His _alpha_ _guardian_. You’ve only ever heard the sanitized version of the official report and the crap the talking heads were spouting on the telly afterwards. It’s not my place to tell you everything that boy went through but after he killed Knifehead on his own? After he had his brother ripped out of his head mid-Drift? Tendo and Stacker spent two hours trying to get through to him on the comms as he wandered towards shore _searching_ for his brother. Two _hours_ they spent listening to him scream his brother’s name. I’ve heard the audio file and it’s fucking heart wrenching.

"You lost your mum and there isn’t a day that I don’t wish to God I could’ve saved you both but I made the choice I’m certain your mum would have made in my place and I can’t regret that. I’ve been a shit father. I know that. I can’t the change the past. And I can’t magically make you a better person. All I can say is this: you’ve dreamed of bonding with Raleigh, of being his alpha since you were barely a teen."

Chuck flushed at having his childish fantasies shoved in his face like that but Herc barreled on. "His leaving the Jaeger Program the way he did hurt you. Finding out our heroes are human is never easy. But part of being an alpha, a good alpha, is seeing past our own pain to that of the ones we care about. I didn’t, couldn’t until it was too late with you. You still have a chance. When you see him tomorrow you need to forget who he was; you need to look past who you want him to be and see the man he actually is. Can you do that?"

Chuck stared at the floor scowling. His thoughts were scattered all over the place going a hundred miles an hour. He’d heard everything Herc had said but couldn’t process it all past the pain of his father once more putting him second, of not measuring up.

"Are we done here?" he ground out.

"Chuck."

"Are we done, old man?"

Herc took a step back, looking devastated, twisting the knife in Chuck’s heart a little deeper. "Yeah. We’re done."

"Good." Sliding away from Herc, he hurried from their quarters, slamming the door behind him. He didn’t have a destination at first, just needed to be somewhere _else_. He wasn’t surprised when he found himself in Striker’s conn-pod. The only thing besides Max to never let him down or break a promise. In here he was a God among men, a slayer of monsters. A hero.

He leaned back against the wall and slid down until he was sitting on the floor. Closing his eyes, Chuck knocked his head back once, twice before planting his elbows on his knees and resting his forehead on his hands.

Why wasn’t he ever good enough? First Mako and then his own father telling him he needed to respect Raleigh; telling him how Raleigh had lost so much. What about him? Why was Raleigh’s loss more important than his?

"You behave like spoiled child."

Chuck’s head snapped up to find Sasha Kaidonovsky standing in front of him. She looked distinctly unimpressed.

"What the bloody hell do you want?" he snarled. "You gonna tell me to take it easy on your precious Little Becket?"

She made a sharp, disdainful sound with her tongue as she squatted down. "Raleigh does not need me to fight battles for him. Nor would I disrespect him by doing so."

"Then why are you here?"

"You hold anger tightly. Can be good thing when fighting kaiju. Can be bad when you let it blind you to what is in front of you."

Chuck was beginning to feel like he should have ‘What the fuck?’ tattooed on his forehead because, seriously, "What the fuck does that mean?"

Sasha grinned meanly as she rose to her feet. "That is for you to find out, Baby Hansen. I will give hint. Raleigh does not hate you." She shrugged a little. "He does not like you, but I would not like angry boy who insults me all the time either."

She sauntered out of the conn-pod before he could come up with a response to that. And what the hell had she meant, he was too blind to see what was right in front of him?

Chuck sighed. He hated this introspective shit. He hated emotions. Machines were so much easier. Either they worked or they didn’t. And if they didn’t you worked on them until they did. People were just too complicated. 

*** * ***

The next morning found Raleigh staring at the ceiling over his bed. He hadn’t gotten much sleep and what little he’d had was plagued by shapeless nightmares. Chuck had probably slept like a baby, Raleigh thought a little resentfully. Despite Mako’s reassurance that the brat wouldn’t hold back he still wondered how this match was going to go. And did the marshal really think that one match was going to settle things between them? If Raleigh won there was no way Chuck was going to back off. He seemed the type to continually demand a rematch using one excuse or another for why it hadn’t been a fair fight. And if Chuck won he was definitely the type to lord it over Raleigh, poking and pushing until Raleigh lost his temper and snapped.

A heavy pounding on his door jerked Raleigh from his thoughts.

"Rise and shine, Little Becket. You are not skipping breakfast today," Sasha’s voice called through the door.

Grinning, he threw back his blankets and jumped out of bed. He reached the door just as one of the Russians, probably Aleksis, began pounding again. Not wanting a fist in the face, he waited until they stopped, then opened the door. As expected, Sasha and Aleksis were both standing there.

"Give me a second to get dressed and I’ll be right out, okay?" He barely waited for their nods before closing the door again. Dressing in his workout clothes, he tossed on his blue PPDC sweater, shoved his feet into his boots, and hurried back to the door. Stepping out of his quarters, he wasn’t surprised to see Mako had joined them. She smiled sweetly at him and he grinned back. He grinned at Sasha and Aleksis as well, wanting to laugh at their feral smiles.

As Mako and Sasha fell into step beside him and Aleksis brought up the rear, Raleigh found himself grateful for their support. The walk to the mess hall was filled with a mix of well wishes, friendly smiles, and downright hostile glares. Apparently news of the impending match had spread throughout the Shatterdome and everyone was taking a side. Though it felt like more people were taking his side than Chuck’s. Had the Australian been that much of an ass to people?

He waited until they were all seated before saying anything. "Not that I’m not grateful for the support but it feels like three quarters of the Shatterdome is rooting for me to kick Chuck’s ass. Do people dislike him that much? I always felt like he saved the bulk of his attitude for me."

"It is not that they dislike him so much," Mako started then stopped, seeming unsure of how to continue she looked at Sasha.

“People like to cheer for...” she said something in Russian, “little guy? One who is long shot."

"The underdog," Raleigh supplied, poking at the scrambled eggs on the specially prepared tray one of the cooks had handed him with a good luck. "People like to root for the underdog. So everyone thinks he’s going to beat me?"

"Eh, bets are 50/50 according to Choi. Many know how your tryouts went and that you are match for Mako," Sasha gestured at Mako, who nodded in agreement, "and have heard rumor of fight in hallway. You are strong. You are also omega."

Raleigh went rigid at that, his expression stony.. Everything always seemed to come down to that one stupid fact.

"Some see it as weakness. We," Sasha waited until he was looking at her. "We know it is irrelevant. You are a jaeger pilot. You are strong. Win or lose you will always be one of us. Of course I expect you to win. I have money on you with Choi. Lose and pay bet for me. Do not try to run. I will find you."

Raleigh gaped then threw back his head and laughed. It was exactly what he needed to drain the tension away. The laughter quickly passed leaving him feeling energized and happier than he had in awhile. No matter what happened today, he had people who cared about him; who had his back no matter what.

*** * ***

Chuck was in the kwoon stretching and glaring at his father when Raleigh walked in with Mako, Sasha, and Aleksis behind him. Chuck’s lip lifted in a silent sneer at Mako and Sasha but he seemed strangely thoughtful when he looked at Raleigh.

Raleigh ignored it, refusing to get worked up over whatever Chuck might or might not be thinking. He wasn’t going to hold back. Hopefully Chuck wasn’t either. If he did Raleigh would happily hand his ass to him.

Every available viewing spot was soon filled in the room, making Raleigh begin to feel a bit claustrophobic. Even Chuck was glaring at all the observers. Finally, the marshal arrived and they moved to the center of the mats, bō staves in hand.

"You ready to get your ass kicked, has-been?" Chuck smirked.

"You ready to apologize to Mako?" Raleigh responded.

"Not today, mate."

"Gentlemen," Marshal Pentecost interrupted Raleigh’s response. "Standard rules. Any major damage and I will personally feed the offender to a kaiju. Am I understood?"

"Yes, sir," they responded together, glaring at each other.

"Positions, gentlemen. You will begin on my mark." He waited until they were both ready, then, "Mark."

Chuck was immediately on the offensive, striking hard and fast. Raleigh fell into defense, blocking each blow, gauging each move, comparing it to yesterday’s fight. At the realization that Chuck wasn’t holding back, Raleigh grinned in delight. This caused Chuck to falter, allowing Raleigh to switch to the offensive, striking just as hard and fast as Chuck had. Finally, an alpha who wasn’t holding back.

They moved back and forth across the mats easily trading blows, neither scoring, neither caring. Chuck was soon grinning just as widely as he was. Raleigh felt like they were dancing, like they were soaring. Everything else in the room fell away for him, sinking him further into the moment. It was exhilarating.

*** * ***

Most of the crowd watching realized they were seeing something unique, a true partnership forming. The jaeger pilots in the room, even Mako for all that she’d only drifted once, truly understood what was happening.

Raleigh and Chuck had completely synced up. They were easily anticipating and matching blows, moving in perfect counterpoint to each other. It was close to guaranteed that their breathing and possibly even their heart rates had synced up as well. They were as close to Drifting as it was possible to be without being hooked up to a pons.

After thirty minutes and neither had scored a point on the other, Stacker knew he’d seen what he needed to. "Enough," he called quietly, not wanting to startle them.

An unfounded fear as they pulled back from each other, turning to face Stacker like mirror images of each other. Both were breathing hard and flushed, riding high on the endorphins flooding their bodies. Almost anyone else and he’d think they were on the verge of a bonding rut.

"I believe that’s enough for today, gentlemen. Herc, Miss Mori, please report to Striker Eureka for a trial run in one hour."

"What?!" Chuck shouted. Raleigh’s mouth dropped open, his gaze snapping to Mako who looked just as shocked, then back to Stacker. He stared calmly back at them.

"You heard me, Ranger Hansen."

"But Dad’s my copilot."

"This is simply a trial run."

"Yeah, but..."

"It is an order, Ranger. One hour, Herc, Miss Mori." Stacker turned and left before anything else could be said.

"What the bloody hell, Dad? You’re not gonna let him do this, are you?" Chuck rounded on his father, who sighed and braced himself for the onslaught. Thankfully the bulk of the crowd had disappeared, understanding that this was pilot business. Raleigh moved to Mako’s side. She looked torn between elation at getting another chance to get back into a jaeger and wanting to vomit from nerves.

"It’s okay, Mako," he said quietly, gently grasping her shoulder. "I mean, I..."

"It is not okay," she said, getting back some of her composure. "We are Drift compatible. We should be copilots."

"Don’t tell me you knew about this shit?!" Chuck’s strident tone cut through their conversation, drawing everyone’s attention. Herc grimaced in the face of Chuck’s anger.

"It’s just a trial run, Chuck. Stacker wants to see if Mako can Drift without chasing the RABIT. No offense, Mako."

"Then why doesn’t he let her Drift with the has-been again? Pilots rarely chase the same RABIT twice unless they shouldn’t be piloting period." Chuck insisted.

"It’s because he doesn’t want her Drifting with me," Raleigh said, arms wrapped tight across his chest. "He blames me for Yancy’s death, thinks I’m too damaged..."

"Your brother’s death was not your fault," Herc snapped, drawing a startled look from Raleigh. "And you’re no more damaged than the rest of us. You understand me, Raleigh?"

Raleigh stared at him helplessly, at all of them giving him the same look of complete faith. Only Chuck had his gaze averted, but something in the set of his shoulders told Raleigh he agreed.

"Do you understand me, Raleigh?" Herc repeated.

"Yes, sir," he responded, not knowing how else to respond.

"Good. Maybe I’ll believe you one of these days," Herc said with a crooked grin before shifting his attention back to Chuck. "Now. Fact is we need all four jaegers functioning for this plan to work and that means four functioning teams of pilots."

"I get that part, _Dad_ ," Chuck drawled mockingly, "but if you’re piloting with Mori then who the hell am I piloting with because we already tried all the candidates against Raleigh and they didn’t match. And I’m sure as shit not getting benched for this."

Raleigh was just as surprised and uncomfortable as Chuck when silence met his question. Who were they going to have pilot Gipsy if Herc and Mako were piloting Striker?

Finally Sasha muttered something in Russian before looking from Raleigh to Chuck and back. "You two are not this stupid."

"Oi! Watch who you’re calling stupid!" Chuck glared at Sasha. She rolled her eyes.

"You are being dense. You are Drift compatible with more than one person." Her eyes cut to Raleigh then back to Chuck. He still looked confused. Raleigh, however, had a sinking feeling in his gut that he knew exactly whom she was talking about. Judging by the wan smile Mako was giving him, she’d realized it as well.

"You’re not serious," Raleigh blurted out, feeling like his whole world was being flipped upside down. He couldn’t be compatible with Chuck. They’d tear each other apart in the Drift.

"Makes sense," Cheung said, the triplets making their presence known for the first time. Jin and Hu were nodding, Hu continued speaking. "You sparred for thirty minutes. No points were scored."

"Is unheard of outside long term partners," Aleksis rumbled.

"What? Me and ... I’m not Drifting with him," Chuck insisted, looking a bit wild eyed. 

Raleigh resisted the urge to hunch in on himself, hands dropping to his side in clenched fists; instead, he lashed out at Chuck in the only way he could. "Yeah, well, I don’t exactly relish the idea of Drifting with you either. It’s amazing you can get in the conn-pod with that ego of yours."

"Enough!" Herc snapped, exasperated. "You two are definitely Drift compatible, which doesn’t mean squat if Mako and I can’t hold a steady Drift. So stop getting your knickers in a knot over something that hasn’t happened yet. Now I expect the two of you to start acting like the grown-ass men you supposedly are and quit fighting!" Herc glared at each of them for good measure then turned on his heel and left the kwoon.

Raleigh rubbed sheepishly at the back of his neck, gaze sliding over to Chuck, who was staring furiously at the door his father had just left through. He let out a soft sigh. "Chuck."

"Don’t, Becket," Chuck snapped, not looking at him. "I’m tired of you wrecking my life but orders are orders, yeah? So just leave me the fuck alone."

He turned and stalked away, leaving a shocked Raleigh behind. The Wei Tangs looked surprised as well while Mako, Sasha, and Aleksis traded thoughtful looks.

"I don’t get it. What have I ever done to him?" Raleigh asked plaintively. "I only just met him a couple days ago. How have I wrecked his life?"

Once more looks were exchanged between the three alphas in the room. Aleksis looked at the Wei Tangs and jerked his head towards the door. The three Betas got the hint and left. Raleigh crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at the three people who’d become like family to him in the last few days.

"What’s going on?" he demanded flatly.

"I have said before Hansens are not good at expressing emotions. For Chuck, anger is easiest even when it is not what he is actually feeling," Sasha said.

"Right. You’re saying Chuck isn’t actually mad at me? Because that sure seems like anger to me."

"There are things you do not know," Mako said quietly, her gaze darting about as if searching for the right words. "It is not our place to interfere."

"And yet you are. What aren’t," Raleigh cut himself off with a sigh. "Never mind. I don’t care. He wants to be an ass and blame me for something I have no control over because he’s apparently too emotionally constipated to express himself any other way then so be it. I’m done. I’m just so very done."

Raleigh left before they could say anything else. It was times like these that he remembered part of what he’d disliked about alphas, even the ones who didn’t immediately believe he was inferior simply because he was an omega. This secret keeping. They knew what Chuck’s issue with him was but wouldn’t tell him because it wasn’t their place to interfere. That was complete bullshit. Why should he have to suffer the brat’s bad attitude when they knew what the problem was? Why should he be left in the dark when it was obvious Chuck wasn’t going to do anything to resolve this?

God, he hated alphas.

Slamming into his quarters, Raleigh looked around. He hadn’t unpacked much. He hadn’t had much to unpack in the first place. With a soft growl, he began throwing all of his things into his duffel bag. Clothes first, Yancy’s book, his toiletries. The sight of his photos drained the anger from him.

Dropping down onto his bed, Raleigh pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes then scrubbed his hands over his face. He stared at the pictures of Yancy and Jazmine and his mom and the places they’d been as kids. It was all that was left of his life before the kaiju. Hell, it was all that was left of his life since then as well.

What was left for him outside the Shatterdome? Outside of a jaeger?

What was the marshal thinking though? Did he really think that if Herc and Mako were able to hold a stable Drift that he and Chuck would be able to as well? It was insane. The two of them were like oil and water, or a match to kerosene.

Raleigh might find Chuck physically attractive and they might be compatible in the kwoon. Chuck hated him though. He blamed Raleigh for something Raleigh wasn’t even aware of doing. With something like that between them the likelihood of them managing to hold a Drift was pretty much zilch. Which meant...

Raleigh honestly had no idea what that meant other than the marshal would likely blame him for it.

He wasn’t happy about any of this but the least he could do is support Mako. Raleigh stripped off his shirt on his way to the bathroom. He’d shower and then head to Striker Eureka’s conn-pod staging area.


	7. Chapter 7

Raleigh stepped into the drive suit room just as they finished sealing Mako’s armor. Herc was already suited up, off to the side kneeling down so he could pet Max while Chuck stood over him glowering. Mako smiled widely when she caught sight of him

"Hey," he said, coming to stand in front of her. "How’re you doing?"

She just shrugged, clearly not wanting to give voice to her emotions with Herc and Chuck nearby.

"It’s okay," Raleigh reassured her. "After last time, it’s okay to be nervous. No one would expect otherwise."

"I know," she said. Raleigh easily heard the nerves beneath her calm voice, could see the almost imperceptible tension in the set of her shoulders.

"Hey," he said, squeezing her shoulder, voice pitched so it wouldn’t carry. "Herc is the best. He’s been doing this since the beginning. Plus he’s been wrestling Chuck’s brain into submission for the last five years. This’ll be a cakewalk for him. Without me there to screw things up, you’ll do great. I have complete faith in you, Mako."

She looked ready to argue with him but said instead, "Thank you." She bowed and he returned the gesture.

"Oi, if you two are done gossiping, it’s time to go," Chuck interrupted them. "Sooner done, sooner we can get back to proper copilots."

Raleigh rolled his eyes but smiled at Mako. "Good luck."

She smiled and squeezed his hand. "Good luck to you too."

"Thanks," he said drily. Watching them leave for the conn-pod, Raleigh tried to stay silent. In the end he couldn’t. "Sir?"

"Yeah?" Herc turned to look back at him.

"Look after her for me, sir."

"No worries," Herc smiled in understanding. "She’ll be safe as houses with me, mate."

"Thank you, sir."

Then they were gone, leaving him with Chuck and Max. Turning, Raleigh locked eyes with Chuck. For a moment, Raleigh saw his own worry reflected in the younger pilot’s face. Then Chuck turned away, tugging on Max’s leash. Raleigh followed him, knowing he’d be headed to LOCCENT to watch the trial.

Pentecost was standing behind Tendo at the console when they arrived. He turned, raising an eyebrow at them before giving his full attention back to the display. "Gentlemen."

"Sir," they responded together. Raleigh resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the glare Chuck gave him. That was really getting old.

"This is Striker," Herc’s voice came through the comms. "We’re ready to go when you are, LOCCENT."

"Proceed," Pentecost nodded to Tendo, who swiveled around to face his console.

"Alright. Prepare for neural handshake in fifteen."

Raleigh worried at his thumbnail with his teeth. As much as he didn’t want her to be compatible with Herc he still wanted this to go well for Mako.

"Quit acting like Dad’s going to get handsy with your little girlfriend," Chuck hissed into Raleigh’s ear, making him start. "He knows what he’s doing."

"Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Initiating neural handshake."

"I know he knows what he’s doing," Raleigh hissed back, keeping an eye on Marshal Pentecost’s back. "I just want this to go well for Mako. All she’s ever wanted is to pilot a jaeger. She deserves a chance."

"Why does it have to be with my dad?" Chuck grumbled. "He’s my copilot. Striker is _my_ jaeger."

Raleigh gave him a sympathetic look at that. He completely understood where Chuck was coming from. The thought of someone else piloting Gipsy made him want to plaster himself to her conn-pod going, ‘Mine! You can’t have her!’

"You really think the marshal will make us Drift together if this works?" Chuck asked quietly.

"I think the marshal will do whatever he thinks is necessary to win this war," Raleigh answered just as quietly, already resigned to the fact that he was nothing more than a tool to be used and discarded to the man.

"Drift is established and holding steady," Tendo announced, breaking Raleigh from his thoughts. "Vitals are looking good. Hemispheres have calibrated. How’s it going in there, Herc? Mako?"

Raleigh barely heard their replies to Tendo outside the fact that they were positive. He let his shoulders slump in relief and a small amount of defeat. Despite their antagonism, Chuck was actually a comforting presence at his shoulder, his warmth helping to ward off the chill in his soul. Even knowing nothing was set in stone, he was sure he’d just lost his new copilot. There was still the chance of a RABIT. He doubted it would happen though. Herc was too experienced and Mako knew what to look for. She wasn’t the type to make the same mistake twice.

"Marshal! Marshal!"

Raleigh jerked away from Chuck at Dr. Gottlieb’s shout, turning to stare in surprise as the normally reserved man hobbled as fast as he could into LOCCENT. Raleigh shared a look with Chuck who was just as surprised as him. Marshal Pentecost barely turned from the displays in front of him.

"Not now, Dr. Gottlieb. I’m sure you can understand how important this is to me."

Dr. Gottlieb let out an irritated huff as he came to a halt next to Raleigh, straightening his spine as much as he could. His voice was smugly condescending when he said in complete seriousness, "Newton has created a neural bridge from garbage. And he used it to Drift with a kaiju brain."

Raleigh’s mouth dropped open in shocked horror, barely registering Chuck’s shocked, "What?" or Marshal Pentecost spinning around and sprinting from the room at the news. All Raleigh could think about was the contraption Newt had been building in his lab a couple days ago. Is that what that pile of crap had been? Was that his grand plan for finding a new weapon or strategy? Drifting with a kaiju brain? Was he insane? Obviously the answer was yes. No one sane would do that. Would they?

"Crazy bastard," Chuck muttered, turning back to the displays. "Always knew he was cracked."

"He’d been talking about trying to find a way to defeat the kaiju. Think he found out anything useful?"

The look Chuck gave him clearly indicated he thought Raleigh was the one cracked now. "If the man isn’t a bleeding vegetable, I’ll volunteer to Drift with you, mate."

"Wow. Thanks. I feel so special now."

"Cheers," Chuck smirked then shifted closer to one of the console displays. "Dammit. That relay is still throwing a spanner. Gonna have to replace the whole damn thing."

"You, uh, you know a lot about jaeger tech?" Raleigh asked tentatively, knowing he was risking the younger man’s renewed disdain. He was willing to risk it to keep his thoughts occupied.

"Gotta keep Striker in good repair, yeah? Can’t do that if I don’t know she works. Don’t tell me you don’t know how to do repairs on Gipsy?"

"Basic stuff," Raleigh shrugged, crossing his arms tightly around his body.

_Useless bitch._

"And that was before all the upgrades Mako made to her. I’m not stupid. You had to know a certain amount to get through the academy. After that though, most of the techs didn’t want me hanging around. They said it wasn’t a pilot’s concern. I know a lot of them were just mad about the idea of an omega pilot. The only one who," Raleigh cut himself off realizing what he was about to say. Chuck didn’t need to know about Paul; didn’t need more ammunition to use against him.

_What kind of omega are you?_

Shaking off the memories, Raleigh stepped up next to Tendo, desperate for a distraction. "How’re they doing? The Drift holding steady?"

"Steady as can be. Not quite as strong as you and Mako had but definitely strong enough for battle conditions." Tendo glanced up at him. "How’re you doing, kiddo? This can’t be easy for you."

"We only Drifted once and we both chased the RABIT. She needs a copilot she can count on."

"Hey. It was your first Drift since... since Alaska. The fact that you pulled out of it in less than fifteen seconds is amazing. You need to stop being so hard on yourself."

Raleigh gave him a faint smile before wandering over to an out of the way chair. He couldn’t do much here at this point. He wanted to support Mako so he stayed. Raleigh looked down in surprise a couple minutes later when he felt Max paw at his leg. The bulldog was sitting on his haunches looking like he was measuring exactly how far he’d have to jump to get in Raleigh’s lap and how much lift he’d need. Raleigh looked over at Chuck completely engrossed in one of the consoles.

"Alright, buddy, but if Chuck gets mad you get to explain it to him," Raleigh said quietly, leaning down to pick the bulldog up. He stifled a grunt of exertion, Max was no lightweight, but got him settled into his lap. Max licked at Raleigh’s face a couple times then turned in a circle in Raleigh’s lap. Raleigh only winced a few times at paws in sensitive places before Max laid down.

Despite the weight, which Raleigh knew was going to put his legs to sleep in minutes, he was grateful for the company. He just hoped it took Chuck awhile to notice where Max was as he scratched behind floppy ears.

*** * ***

An hour passed as Tendo put Striker’s pilot through their paces with no problems, not even a glimmer of either of them dropping out of alignment. Raleigh was actually half-dozing in his chair, Max a comforting if heavy weight in his lap.

"Alright, you two, everything is looking good. Why don’t," Tendo was cut off by the wail of the Breach alarm going off. Raleigh jerked upright, just managing to not dump Max to the floor.

"What’s going on?" Herc demanded over the comms. Raleigh set Max on the floor as he stood up.

"Activity at the Breach," Tendo said distractedly, pushing Chuck out of the way to get to the right monitor. "Oh God."

"What is it?" Raleigh crowded in next to the smaller man. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Double event," Tendo confirmed, horrified.

"Bloody hell," Chuck muttered then activated the comms. "Striker return to the hangar and disengage neural handshake. I’ll be there in a tick."

"No, belay that order," the marshal ordered as he strode into LOCCENT. "How far along are you in the testing? Any mishaps?"

"We’re almost done with testing, sir," Tendo responded. "No issues with the neural handshake so far."

"Good. Do we have heading, ETA, and category level on the kaiju yet?"

"Um, heading is this general area. ETA is between three and four hours. We’ll have a better estimate when they get closer. They’re both Category IV’s, sir."

"Thank you, Mr. Choi." Marshal Pentecost stepped up to the comms. "Striker, you are to complete testing and then return to the hangar. You may disengage neural handshake at that point but you are to remain suited up. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," came Herc’s reluctant response.

"But, sir," Chuck started only to get cut off again.

"That is an order, Ranger. You and Mr. Becket will be sitting this one out. I want Cherno Alpha and Crimson Typhoon suited up as well, Mr. Choi, and inform me if there is any change in heading. Everyone is to report here for orders."

"Yes, sir."

Pentecost began to pace the small open space of LOCCENT as they waited. He eyed Chuck and Raleigh as he passed them, either daring or simply expecting one of them to say something. Wisely, they both remained silent.

The rest of the testing went quickly after that. As soon as Striker was headed back to he hangar, Chuck and Raleigh shared a look of agreement. They headed to the conn-pod staging area to wait for Herc and Mako. Neither even entertained the thought of trying to convince Herc or Mako this was a bad idea. The likelihood of either of them disobeying orders was slim to none.

Chuck was talking the moment Herc and Mako came into view. "This is utter shit. Why’s he sending her out with you and benching me? She’s never faced a kaiju before and no one knows Striker like I do!"

Raleigh half-tuned out Chuck’s ranting as he sidled up to Mako. She gave him a serene smile, looking calm and centered, the total opposite of how she’d been after their disastrous Drift. He felt a pang in his heart at the realization that she really was better off without him as a Drift partner.

"Told you everything would be fine," he said with a sincere smile.

"Yes," she agreed. "And it will work out for you as well."

Raleigh looked over at Chuck who was still haranguing a far too patient Herc, keeping pace with his father’s long strides as they all headed back to LOCCENT. Raleigh knew he would have told the younger man to shut up by now. This was happening whether they liked it or not. Nothing they said was going to change Marshal Pentecost’s mind. Finally he couldn’t take it anymore.

"Hey. She’s not going to get any experience if she’s not out there," he pointed out, cutting Chuck off mid-word.

"Yeah, I know that, _Ra_ leigh," Chuck drawled, "but in case you didn’t notice those are two Category IV kaiju out there. You’ve never faced one of those bastards, being too busy working construction and all. One by itself is hard enough. Two at the same time..."

"Which is why three jaegers are being deployed. Unless you think the Kaidonovskys and the Wei Tangs can’t handle themselves out there?"

Chuck was about to retort when he realized they were within hearing distance of LOCCENT and Sasha and Aleksis were standing just outside the door. He was smart enough to realize keeping silent would be a good idea just then. Instead, he glared at Raleigh before following Herc inside.

*** * ***

Once they were all in the room, Raleigh listened patiently as the marshal handed out orders. He could feel Chuck practically vibrating with tension when Striker was told to maintain the Miracle Mile and not engage unless necessary. For once, he completely agreed with Marshal Pentecost. Mako was too inexperienced and Striker was the key to Operation Pitfall. Any major damage to Striker and they were screwed.

The younger man remained silent; seeming to have finally accepted that nothing he said was going to change things. Instead, much to Raleigh’s surprise, he stayed close to Raleigh’s side. Anyone else and Raleigh would have called it protective hovering. He didn’t know what was going through Chuck’s head.

Then it was time for the others to head out. The Wei Tangs were the first to leave with confident grins. This was their home turf and they’d successfully defended it before.

Aleksis and Sasha were next. Knowing everyone was watching, Raleigh resisted the urge to hug them both tight. Instead, he said, "Do svidanya."

Aleksis rumbled something in Russian Raleigh didn’t even pretend to try and understand. Instead, Raleigh returned the big alpha’s grin, stumbling only a little beneath the hearty back slap. Sasha shook her head fondly at her husband before pulling Raleigh’s head down so she could press a kiss to his forehead.

"Do svidanya, solnyshko moi. Never be less than you are." She patted his cheek and they were gone.

He nodded to Herc and murmured good luck to Mako, bowing his head to her. Chuck fidgeted beside him noisily clearing his throat.

"Look after Striker for me, yeah, Mori? Dad’s idea of fixing things is smacking them around a bit."

"I shall do my best," she said with complete sincerity. Chuck and Herc simply exchanged nods. Watching Chuck watch them leave, Raleigh realized this was the first time in five years that Chuck wasn’t the one getting into Striker with his dad; that he was having to trust someone else to watch out for him. He had an idea just how difficult that was and could only be grateful he’d never had to go through it with Yancy before he’d lost him. 

Letting out a soft sigh, Raleigh dropped back down into the chair he’d occupied before and closed his eyes. For the first time he could appreciate just how much it sucked to be the one left behind to wait. Especially since even with all their advances in technology, they still wouldn’t be able to see what was actually happening out there and would have to rely on pilot commentary.

He could feel eyes on him but ignored them, preferring to focus on listening to Tendo walk each team through the neural handshake. The feel of fingers brushing fleetingly across the nape of his neck set off butterflies in his stomach. His eyes snapped open, searching out the source of the touch. None of the J-techs were close enough. Marshal Pentecost sure as hell would never touch him like that. The only one it could have been was Chuck, who’d crossed the room to stand by the window overlooking Scramble Alley.

Had it been him? Why? What was he playing at? Why would such a brief simple touch spark a reaction like that in him? He wished he’d paid more attention in the few omega-oriented classes he’d been forced to attend back in high school. He’d been a little more concerned with the giant rampaging aliens though.

Not that it mattered. Even if he was interested in the brat, who he wasn’t thank you very much, there was no way Chuck would return that interest. He was a brain-damaged sterile has-been. No one would ever want him.

Chuck’s return to his area of LOCCENT let him know that the jaegers were all underway. It was a waiting game now. Wait until the jaegers were in position. Wait until the kaiju showed themselves. He hated waiting. Judging by the fidgeting he could hear going on behind him, so did Chuck.

Pentecost was apparently a master at waiting. He stood like the fixed point on a compass directly behind Tendo, not so close that it could really be considered hovering, yet still close enough that he could read most of the displays over Tendo’s shoulder. Raleigh wondered how Tendo hadn’t developed a nervous twitch about having someone behind him all the time like that.

Suddenly, Tendo was leaning forward adjusting one of the displays. He opened up the comms. "Look sharp, everyone. Otachi and Leatherback are less than twenty miles out and headed directly towards Hong Kong. It looks like Otachi is the faster of the two so watch it."

Acknowledgement came from all three teams as they readied themselves.

"Otachi is ten miles out. Leatherback is trailing by almost a mile. They’re headed straight for you."

Three tense minutes passed before Cherno announced having visuals on Otachi who’d gone after Crimson Typhoon first.

"Cherno moving to assist," Sasha’s calm voice sounded over the comms. "It is going for the conn-pod."

Raleigh hunched over, wanting to be violently ill.

_Raleigh, listen to me..._

Chuck’s hand on his back grounded him, pulling him out of the memory. He smiled weakly at him in thanks. Chuck stared back at him concerned. Something clicked in Raleigh’s brain and he knew they couldn’t keep sitting here. He still had no idea if they’d be able to achieve and a hold a Drift. They had to try though.

Rising to his feet slowly to not draw the marshal’s attention, Raleigh gave Chuck a significant look and nodded towards the door. For a moment Chuck looked cutely baffled then understanding dawned. He rose to his feet as well, giving Max the signal to stay before inching his way out the door behind Raleigh.

Out in the hallway, they broke into a fast walk, not fast enough to alarm anyone they passed but still covering ground quickly.

"Isn’t this disobeying orders?" Chuck asked.

"If it is, do you have a problem with it?" Raleigh replied, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Not this time. Just like to know what I’m getting into."

"Well, since we can’t initiate a Drift on our own technically, no, we’re not disobeying direct orders. He didn’t say where we were to sit this one out. I don’t know about you but I’d rather stand around in a drive suit ready to go at a moment’s notice than have to worry we’re wasting precious time getting suited up."

"Sounds good to me."

Raleigh smirked when they reached the drive suit room to find the techs already waiting for them. Ten minutes later they were suited up and in Gipsy’s conn-pod. Raleigh had only activated a couple of Gipsy’s minor systems including comms when a wave of energy rushed over them. Raleigh gave a full body shudder, every hair standing on end from the odd sensation. A glance at Chuck told him he wasn’t the only one to feel it. He opened the comms channel. "LOCCENT, this is Gipsy Danger. What the hell was that?"

There was an uncomfortably long moment of silence then, "Raleigh? You’re in Gipsy? Are all of her systems working? Is Chuck with you?"

Raleigh shared a concerned look with Chuck as he answered. "Yeah, we’re both in Gipsy. I only had a couple systems active but they seem fine. What’s going on? What was that?"

"Some kind of EM pulse. It seems to have only affected the newer and not too heavily shielded systems. The neural bridge is fine but we’ve completely lost contact with the others as well as the monitoring systems. Choppers are moving in to try and get visuals but until then we’re flying completely blind here. Raleigh, it came from one of the kaiju."

"Son of a..."

"I assume you are both suited up, Mr. Becket?" Pentecost cut him off. "Are you prepared to Drift?"

"Give us a minute to get into the harness and then we’ll be ready."

"Notify us as soon as you are. And, Mr. Becket? We will have words about this later."

"Yes, sir," Raleigh replied. Of course he was going to get yelled at later.

"He always such a knob to you?" Chuck asked, sounding surprised.

"I heard that, Mr. Hansen," Marshal Pentecost informed them.

"Sorry, sir," Chuck said, anything but, and muted the comms.

Raleigh had locked in his boots, the battle harness already in place, and was preparing to put on his helmet when Chuck stepped in front of him.

"What?" he asked warily.

"Just..." And then Chuck was kissing him, a gentle press of lips at first then Chuck traced over his bottom lip with his tongue. Raleigh opened up to him automatically, deepening the kiss, losing himself in the dizzying rush of sensations coursing through him. 

He let out a low whimper when Chuck pulled away, both of them breathing in soft pants. Raleigh was certain he wouldn’t still be upright if he weren’t already locked into the rigging. He licked his bottom lip, still tasting the younger man. Chuck was watching, pupils wide with arousal, wearing the smuggest smirk Raleigh had yet seen on him, which was completely at odds with the bright blush staining his cheeks.

"What was that?" Raleigh finally managed to ask. Raleigh found himself impressed when the smirk and the blush both deepened.

Chuck cleared his throat, ducking his head a little, and then stole another quick kiss before moving over to the left side rigging. Raleigh stared at him.

"Chuck?"

"Wanted to make sure you knew I wanted to do that before we shared brain space."

Raleigh stared. "Really?" 

"Yes, really," Chuck glared. "We gonna do this or what?"

"Right. Yeah," Raleigh muttered pulling on his helmet, shifting to try and alleviate the pressure down below. Drive suits had not been designed with erections in mind. "Ready?" he asked once Chuck was locked into the rigging.

"Just waiting on you, has-been."

"Brat." Raleigh activated the comms. "We’re good to go, LOCCENT."

"Alright. It’s game time, gents," Tendo’s voice came through the comms. "Check your grudges at the conn-pod door. Initiating neural handshake in five... four... three... two... Now."

Raleigh’s world dissolved into blue.


	8. Chapter 8

_Charlie was having the best day of his life. He’d been splashing in the shallows on the beach for hours now, occasionally stopping when he saw a pretty stone or shell that he’d snatch up and run to give his mum. It was her birthday today and she deserved all the pretty things he could give her._

_"Charlie! Lunch time!"_

_Charlie’s head popped up at the sound of his mum’s voice. Seeing her waving at him, he easily abandoned the two horseshoe crabs he’d been watching. He paused to pick up a piece of pink sea glass he’d spotted, and then ran up the beach._

_"Lookit, Mum! Lookit what I found for you!"_

_His mum smiled, carefully taking the sea glass from him with one hand while the other brushed over his hair. "Oh, it’s a real beaut, Charlie. Looks like it had some letters at one point. See?"_

_Charlie leaned in close to see, running his fingers over it. He smiled up at his mum. "Ace!"_

_She laughed and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "C’mon, my little ‘roo. Time for a sanger."_

_Charlie happily plopped down onto their blanket to dig through the cooler._

_"Well, now, I hope there’s enough for me too, Charlie boy."_

_"Dad!" Charlie yelled, scrambling to his feet so he could throw himself at his dad who easily scooped him up into a tight hug. "You’re here! Didja know it’s Mum’s birthday?"_

_"Is it now?" Herc smiled down at him. "Guess it’s a good thing I was able to get leave for a couple days then, isn’t it?"_

_Charlie nodded happily._

_"Right, down you go you little ankle biter so I can give your mum a proper hello."_

_Letting himself be put down so his parents could hug and kiss, Charlie went back to digging through the cooler._

_Yep. Best day ever._

*** * ***

_Raleigh’s eyes popped open, his mind shifting from asleep to awake in an instant. He rolled over in his bed, reaching to angle the clock towards him, which read, “6:53 am.”_

_"Yancy!" Raleigh shouted, throwing off his covers. "Wake up!" He launched himself across the short distance separating their beds, landing on his brother. "Yancy! Yancy! Yance! C’mon, Yance! Wake up!"_

_"Go ‘way, Rals," Yancy mumbled, shoving at him. Raleigh laughed as he bounced, not even caring when Yancy managed to shove him off the bed. He just gripped the blankets and pulled, uncovering his brother._

_"Raleigh," Yancy whined, rolling over to grab at his blankets. Raleigh grabbed his fumbling hand, yanking on it until Yancy cracked an eye open to glare at him. "What?"_

_"It’s Christmas, Yancy," Raleigh informed him reverently. Yancy blinked, looked at the clock then back at Raleigh. "Does it have to be at 6:55 in the morning?"_

_Raleigh laughed tugging on Yancy’s hand. "C’mon! Go wake Jazmine and I’ll wake Mom."_

_"Nuh-uh," Yancy yawned as Raleigh dragged him from bed. "I’ll wake Mom and you can wake Jaz. She bites."_

_"Wimp!" Raleigh shouted running from their room and into their sister’s nursery. The toddler was already awake, standing up in her crib. She squealed excitedly when she saw him._

_"RaRa!"_

_"Jazzy!" He made quick work of the latches then carefully let the side of the crib slide down. He managed to pick her up to carry her into their parents’ room. "It’s Christmas, Jazzy," he whispered excitedly to her. "Do you know what that means?"_

_"Pesants!"_

_"Yup. Presents and Santa and stockings and Turkey and stuffing and pie and," Raleigh paused when they stepped into the master bedroom. "Nice job, Yance."_

_Rather than wake their mom up, Yancy had just climbed into bed with her and was passed out snoring. Raleigh grinned at Jazmine._

_"Wanna help me wake up the sleepyheads?"_

_Jazmine eagerly nodded her head. Raleigh helped her onto the bed then climbed up as well. Grabbing her little hands, he began jumping up and down while shouting, "It’s Christmas! It’s Christmas!"_

_Suddenly, arms wrapped around him and Jazmine, pulling them down to the bed with shrieks of laughter. Raleigh soon found himself cocooned between his mom and Yancy with Jazmine lying sprawled out on Yancy’s back._

_"Merry Christmas, munchkins," his mom said, laughter curling in her voice._

_"Merry Christmas, Mom!" they caroled back._

*** * ***

_Charlie was curled up on the bed in his dad’s quarters. Waiting. He knew it was his dad’s because of all the photos of him and his mum on the wall. He was staring at a calendar hung by the desk. September 1 st was crossed out. The 25th had a big R written in red and circled. Charlie knew his father was retiring from the RAAF that day. His dad was supposed to come home permanently that day. _

_The door opening drew his attention. He scrambled off the bed at the sight of his dad, dirty and worn, white tracks streaked through the black soot on his face._

_"Dad! What’s going on? Didja get it? Didja kill the kaiju? Where’s Mum? Is she gonna be here soon? When’s she gettin’ here?"_

_"Charlie," his dad said, voice rough like he’d been shouting at a footie match. Charlie stared as his dad knelt down in front of him, hands gripping his shoulders almost too tightly. There was a feeling in his stomach he didn’t like. Where was Mum? She’d make Dad not sad and his tummy stop hurting._

_"Dad? What’s going on?"_

_"The kaiju is dead, Charlie, but... but it did a lot of damage to Sydney. They had ta drop a nuke on it to stop it. Half of Sydney’s gone."_

_"What about Mum, Dad? Where’s Mum?" Charlie’s fingers were fisted in his dad’s shirt, the feeling in his stomach getting worse._

_"I... I’m sorry, Charlie. She’s... Your mum’s gone. The kaiju killed her."_

_"No," Charlie shook his head. "No. No! You’re lying! Mum’s fine! You’ll see! Home. I gotta go home. She’ll be waiting for me at home after school. I gotta go!"_

_"The house is gone, Charlie," his dad said, tears sliding down those white tracks on his cheeks. "Your mum is dead. I’m so sorry, Charlie. I’m so sorry."_

_"No!" Charlie shouted struggling in his father’s grip. "No! You’re lying! You’re lying! You’re supposed to save her! Why didn’t you save her! Why didn’t you save her!”?_

_He screamed wordlessly, barely noticing the tears spilling from his eyes, barely feeling his father’s arms wrapped tightly around him. Charlie screamed and screamed for his mother._

*** * ***

_He shifted in the hard hospital chair, trying to find a comfortable spot. He knew it wasn’t going to happen. After a week in this chair, he knew better. It was a distraction though. A distraction from the frail hand clasped gently in his. A distraction from the rattling machine aided breathing of the woman, of his mother in the hospital bed before him._

_He and his siblings had been watching for months now as the cancer ate away at their mother’s body. She was gaunt, practically a skeleton lying in that bed. It wouldn’t be long now. They all knew it. None of them were the slightest bit prepared for it._

_"Yancy."_

_He looked up at the sound of the whispery rasp their mother’s voice had become. She was watching him, eyes knowing beneath the dullness of pain and the drugs they’d been pumping into her._

_"You’re such a good boy, Yancy, a good man, a good alpha. Look after your brother and sister. I wish I... I’m so proud of you, Yancy." She looked over to the other side of the bed. He followed her gaze to Raleigh and Jazmine curled up together in the other chair. Young faces streaked with tears, eyes bright with more unshed._

_"I’m so proud of you two as well. My little munchkins. Be good for your brother, okay? Be strong. Never let anyone tell you that you can’t do something because of what you are. You’re Beckets and you can do anything you can set your mind to. Okay?"_

_Raleigh and Jazmine both nodded, their hands wrapped around her left hand._

_"I love you all," her last words were forced out, voice gasping as her body fell into it’s last futile fight against death._

_The movies lie._

_Death is not peaceful. Death is not simply falling asleep and never waking up. It is violent and painful and horrifying to watch. Yancy left his chair, crossing the room to pull his terrified siblings away and into his arms. He held them tight as their mother’s body let out a final gasping rattle before going still._

_She was gone._

*** * ***

_Chuck barely glanced up from his math homework when his father pushed open the door to his room._

_"What?" He growled._

_"Charlie."_

_"Told you to call me Chuck. "_

_Herc sighed. "Chuck, I... Happy Birthday, son."_

_"My birthday was two weeks ago," he scowled, finishing the problem he’d been working on. He pulled his textbook a little closer._

_"I know and I’m sorry I couldn’t be here. Just... Would you look at me, Chuck."_

_Heaving a put-upon sigh, he finally looked at his father. Chuck frowned at the cardboard box Herc was holding. It had holes cut into the side of it with a big red bow stuck on the top._

_"What is it?"_

_"Why don’t you open it up and find out?" Herc moved further into Chuck’s room to put the box on the bed. Chuck reluctantly followed, glancing sidelong at Herc before carefully opening the flaps. Inching forward, he peered inside. Big brown eyes in a wrinkly little face stared back up at him. Upon catching sight of him, the puppy scrambled clumsily to its feet, rear end wagging, as it made half-whining, half-yipping sounds._

_"He’s an English bulldog but we won’t hold being a pom against him, yeah? They’re a sturdy breed. Loyal, good friends. Make sure he’s trained up proper and the marshal says you won’t have to keep him locked up in your room all the time. Figured that was a project you could get into. Got a bunch of books about training and such with the rest of his supplies."_

_Chuck only half-listened to his dad as he slowly put his hand into the box. The puppy immediately began licking and pushing against him. Grinning, Chuck reached in with both hands and picked the wriggling puppy up. It went pliant in his hands as he held it up in the air, just dangling trustingly. The moment he brought it to his chest, it squirmed until it could reach his face and began licking. Chuck scrunched up his face, delighted and disgusted all at once._

_"What’s his name?" he finally asked._

_Herc grimaced. "Morning Alexander Xavier. It’s a snooty show name. The breeder said they usually give them nicknames that the dogs respond to."_

_"Max. I’m gonna call him Max. You like that, boy? None of that sissy stuff, yeah? A good Aussie name for an Aussie dog." Chuck laughed when Max yipped then licked at him some more. Cuddling him close, Chuck looked up at his dad. "Thanks, Dad. He’s ace."_

_"You’re welcome, son," his dad smiled, gently placing a hand on his shoulder._

*** * ***

_"Can you believe it, Yance? We’re getting a jaeger! I thought for sure the Suzumi twins would get the next one off the line," Raleigh rambled bouncing around his brother as they walked through the Anchorage Shatterdome. "We’re going to be pilots, Yance! Aren’t you excited?"_

_"I think you’re more than excited enough for the both of us, kid," he drawled, shoving at Raleigh when he got too close. Raleigh shoved back then dropped into a boxer’s stance, bobbing and weaving around Yancy, taking potshots at him. Yancy easily batted aside each punch until, grinning, he grabbed Raleigh’s extended arm pulling him onto a headlock._

_Raleigh yelped, trying to pull away, then shoved at Yancy when that didn’t work. "Let go, you jerk," he whined. Yancy laughed._

_"Not until you say the magic... oh."_

_Yancy’s grip loosened allowing Raleigh to slip free._

_"Ha! Getting soft in your old age, Yance!" Raleigh crowed. He frowned when Yancy didn’t respond, just stared ahead. Turning to see what had caught his brother’s attention, Raleigh’s jaw dropped at the sight before him. He walked forward until he was pressed up against the guard railing._

_While tussling with each other they’d reached the maintenance bay where the newest jaeger, their jaeger was being completed._

_She was beautiful. And she was theirs. No doubt about it. Raleigh was in love. He let out a sigh, leaning against Yancy’s shoulder when he stepped up next to Raleigh. He didn’t need to look to know his brother was grinning at him._

_"Am I intruding?" Yancy smirked. "Should I give you two some alone time?"_

_Raleigh pulled back enough so he could slug Yancy in the shoulder. "Jerk."_

_He ruined it by leaning back into his brother’s side again. "Look at her, Yance. She’s gorgeous. She’s gonna be the best jaeger in the Corps and we’re her pilots."_

_"Yep." Yancy slung his arm around Raleigh’s shoulders, pulling him in tight in a one-armed hug. "We’re gonna be the best because we’re Beckets."_

_"And we can do anything we set our minds to."_

_"Hell yeah, baby brother."_

_Raleigh leaned into him, his eyes never leaving their jaeger. "Hell yeah."_

*** * ***

_Having been finally let out of the ‘Dome’s kaiju shelter for non-essential personnel, Chuck ran back to the Hansen family quarters, Max scrabbling along beside him. Reaching their quarters, he turned on the vid screen and selected an American news channel. The latest kaiju, Yamarashi, was less than an hour away from the California coast, headed towards Los Angeles they were predicting. Romeo Blue and Horizon Brave had been deployed at the ten-mile markers. The newest American jaeger, a Mark-3 called Gipsy Danger, was deployed at the Miracle Mile._

_It was Gipsy Danger that Chuck was most interested in. Not only was she a beaut, but also he was completely enthralled by her pilots: Yancy and Raleigh Becket. Yancy was okay. He reminded Chuck of a lot of the other pilots he’d met through his dad or seen on the TV. Raleigh though..._

_Raleigh was the youngest pilot ever at eighteen years old and he was an omega. The only omega pilot ever. There was a fluttery feeling in Chuck’s stomach that he didn’t understand every time he saw his picture._

_"You think Raleigh will get to fight, Max?" Chuck asked his pup as they sat on the couch. "The kaiju’ll have to get close in to the city but it’d be a shame not to get a fight the first time he’s deployed. I hear he’s ace in the kwoon. Gotta be with people tellin’ him omegas are weak. He’s showing them all isn’t he, though, Max? He’s gonna be brilliant."_

_And he was. Chuck avidly cheered and jeered all through the fight as it was televised on the news._

_Six hours later, the post-fight interview with the brothers had just finished and another replay of the battle was starting when his dad and uncle entered their quarters._

_"Dad! Dad! Didja see! Didja see Gipsy and Raleigh take out Yamarashi?" Chuck was bouncing all around he was so excited. They were totally ace! The plasma cannon is brilliant but it needs a power boost but they didn’t let that stop them. Didja see them use the bridge cable to cut off Yamarashi’s head? That was brilliant! I wouldn’t have thought of that! Would you, Dad? It was brilliant!"_

_Uncle Scott laughed and ruffled Chuck’s hair while his dad shook his head, opening the fridge._

_"Guess that means Lucky’s been replaced as your favorite, eh, sprog?" Uncle Scott said still laughing at him._

_"Sorry, Uncle Scott. I have to show support for my omega."_

_Chuck looked over in surprise when his dad spewed a mouthful of beer all over the place. "Dad?"_

_"What’d you just say?" Herc demanded._

_"I have to support my omega," Chuck repeated with a frown. "Honestly, Dad. You said an alpha should always support their mate."_

_"Yeah, but, son, Becket’s not your omega. You’re only fourteen and you’ve never even met him."_

_"Not yet, but when I’m a pilot Raleigh will be my copilot and my omega cause he’s the best. C’mon, Max. Let’s go check the ‘net for recaps of the interview." Chuck headed into his room, leaving his dad flabbergasted and Uncle Scott laughing uproariously._

*** * ***

_"Hold on, Raleigh," Yancy shouted, frantically trying to get the plasma cannon to charge faster. The damage Knifehead was doing to their left arm was a dull pain to him. He knew it was a hundred times worse for Raleigh as the left hemisphere pilot. "C’mon," he muttered desperately._

_"Shoot it!" Raleigh screamed, scrabbling to do any kind of damage to the kaiju._

_"I’m trying!" Finally it charged. He fired into the kaiju’s chest just as it finished ripping off their left arm. Yancy screamed in pain with Raleigh. He started charging the cannon again. They had to end this._

_Knifehead was on them again, claws slashing along their chest and remaining arm before one hooked into the side of the conn-pod, digging in with a screech of crushed metal. They both stared at it in horror, struggling to pull away. Yancy knew it was already too late. He turned to Raleigh, taking in the useless left arm and the scorched armor. I’m sorry, he thought._

_"Raleigh, listen to me, you need..." Anything else he would say was lost as he and his entire rigging was ripped out of the conn-pod._

_"Yancy!" Raleigh cried, reaching desperately for his brother. His left arm was on fire, pain screaming along the nerve endings and completely unresponsive._

_Yancy screamed as metal was crushed into him breaking bones, piercing skin, and then he was falling, slamming into the churned up ocean._

_"Yancy," Raleigh whimpered then screamed as his body arched in pain. It felt like he was being crushed before slamming hard into an unforgiving surface._

_The last thing he saw was Gipsy’s remaining arm punching into Knifehead’s side._

_Plunging his arm into the wound they’d already created, Raleigh fired. Raw satisfaction filled him as he blew a hole completely through Knifehead. It let out an inhuman shriek as half of its internal organs were vaporized or turned into slag._

_He waited tensely to be sure Knifehead was really dead this time. When the kaiju didn’t resurface, he turned away with a stagger, heading he didn’t know where._

_"Yancy."_

_He had to find Yancy._

_Why wasn’t Yancy here?_

_"Yancy?"_

_"YANCY?!"_

*** * ***

_Chuck frowned when the tech he’d asked to point him towards his dad led him to one of the platforms overlooking construction on the new Mark-5 jaeger. There’d been all sorts of rumors running around the academy on who was going to get to pilot it, especially since his dad and uncle damn near imploded mid-Drift in the middle of a fight with a kaiju. The kaiju had been killed but Lucky Seven was scrap and his uncle had been dishonorably discharged from the PPDC._

_Now here he was, pulled from the academy a month before graduation, with vague comments of ‘his dad will explain it all’ when he saw him. So where the hell was the bastard so he could explain?_

_Chuck sucked in a sharp breath, halting in his tracks a moment before continuing forward like a puppet on a string. His mouth fell open in shocked awe at the sight before him. The jaeger before him was still being constructed, but he could see it would be sleek lines and sharp angles when it was completed. It reminded him of the Valkyries from the mythology book his mum used to read to him._

_It was gorgeous._

_"She’s a real beaut, eh?" his dad said, coming to stand beside him at the railing._

_"Not too shabby," Chuck tried for casual. The curve of his father’s lips said he didn’t quite make it. "What’s her name? Who’s going to pilot her?"_

_"Striker Eureka. Proper Aussie name for an Australian jaeger. As for pilots," Herc shrugged. "Guess that’ll depend on you."_

_"Me?" Chuck looked sharply at his dad._

_Herc nodded. "The mucky-mucks want Australian pilots in the new Australian jaeger. Was supposed to be me and Scott but," Herc went silent, jaw clenched, his knuckles white as he gripped the railing._

_"What happened, Dad?"_

_"Don’t ask, son," Herc said roughly, looking deeply pained. "Just don’t. Let me protect you from this."_

_Chuck’s eyebrows shot up, wondering even more just what the hell his uncle had gotten into. Seeing his dad like this, he decided he didn’t need to know. He looked back at Striker Eureka. "So, if not... Who’re they going to pair you with to pilot her?"_

_"Like I said, that depends on you and how well we test out," Herc amended. "What do you say? Willing to see if you’re Drift compatible with your old man?"_

_Chuck gaped at him, then at Striker._

_"I’m gonna be her pilot?" he finally squeaked then blushed bright red at the unmanly sound._

_Herc chuckled, making it worse, and clapped him on the shoulder. "Yeah, you’re gonna be her pilot. C’mon. You seen Max yet? He’s been moping since you left for the academy."_

_Chuck let himself be led away, eager to see his dog, but still snuck glances over his shoulder at Striker until it was out of sight. He should be piloting her with Raleigh but Dad would have to retire eventually. This would be good practice until then._

*** * ***

_Raleigh was lying in his hospital bed, staring listlessly at the laptop Tendo had set up to play movies and television shows for him when there was a hard knock on his door._

_"Come in," he called, turning his head to see who it was. He smiled, hitting the pause on the laptop, when he saw who it was. "Paul. You came."_

_"Yeah, well, I needed to get Choi off my back so here I am. What do you want?" The dark haired alpha hovered near the door, glancing around the room._

_Raleigh picked at his blanket, uncertain why Paul was acting like this. "I... I wanted to see you. I thought you’d ... You haven’t been by to see me."_

_"I’ve had a lot of work to do," he glared. "You wrecked Gipsy so bad they decided to just scrap her. Now I have to prove myself to the Horizon Brave crew chief if I want to make sure I still have a job. I don’t have time for social visits just because you’re feeling needy. So unless you have an actual reason for me to be here, I have a job to do."_

_"Why are you acting like this?" Raleigh asked, struggling to hold back his tears. He knew how Paul felt about ‘womanly’ omegas and crying was ‘womanly’._

_"Acting like what? Like I don’t have time to cater to your every whim? Look, Becket," Paul sighed, "you’re a good fuck but that’s all it ever was. It’s not like we were gonna bond or anything. We’re definitely not now with what happened. I gotta go."_

_"I’m pregnant!" Raleigh blurted out as Paul turned to go. He winced at the look Paul turned on him. "I was," he amended, glancing away, swallowing thickly. "I was pregnant. My injuries... The solo Drift... I miscarried the baby; the doctors couldn’t save it."_

_"Christ, Becket," Paul swore. "What kind of omega are you? What kind of omega risks their baby like that? I knew you were worthless outside a jaeger but now you’re really nothing but a useless bitch. First you get your alpha guardian killed and then you kill your baby. You’re like goddamn poison. It’s over. Forget you ever knew me and stay away, Becket."_

_Raleigh stared blankly at the door, trying to process what had just happened. Reflexively, he reached out for his brother’s comforting presence and let himself fall into the broken Drift._

*** * ***

_"Oi, Dad!" Chuck hurried down the hallway towards his dad, Max at his heels. At sixteen and a half, Chuck was still in the awkward gangly teen stage but was slowly putting on mass. His father nodded to the tech to whom he’d been speaking, who glanced at Chuck then scurried away._

_"What is it, Chuck?"_

_"Don’t pull that shit with me." Ever since they’d started Drifting together, Chuck’s language had become a bit fouler and a bit less respectful when it came to his father. "Why am I only just hearing that Yancy is dead and Raleigh’s in a goddamn coma? It’s been a bloody week since they fought Knifehead. Why wasn’t I told?"_

_"The brass has been keeping the whole thing hushed up. They don’t want the public panicking."_

_"Yeah, but we’re not the public, are we? I should’ve been told and on a transport days ago."_

_"What are you yammering on about? Transport to where?" Herc frowned._

_"Anchorage, Dad_ , _" Chuck drawled, looking at him like it was the most obvious thing in the world, which to him it was. "Raleigh just lost his brother and he was obviously injured. He needs me now more than ever. An alpha looks after their omega, yeah? I didn’t fuss before ‘cause he had Yancy to watch his back for me but with Yancy gone he needs me more than ever. So when can we get transport?"_

_Herc sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. "Son, Chuck, you’re not Becket’s alpha. I know you’ve been obsessed with him since Yamarashi but you’re not his alpha. You’ve never even met the kid! I’m not..."_

_"And whose fault is that?" Chuck snarled cutting him off._

_"What? What the hell does that mean?"_

_"You think I wouldn’t figure it out? Why I’ve never managed to meet Raleigh? You get dropped in Manila with the Beckets and it’s all, no, Chuck, it’s too dangerous you can’t come. Then I finally get into the Academy three bloody years earlier than anyone else. Only I get there and the Beckets and Gipsy just happen to be redeployed to Lima. How convenient that as soon as I’m assigned to Striker and sent back here to Sydney, they get brought back to Anchorage. Real bloody convenient, yeah?"_

_"What exactly are you implying? That I pulled strings to keep you away from Raleigh?"_

_"I’m not implying, old man. I’m saying you’ve been keeping me from Raleigh. You think I don’t know that you resent saving me and don’t want me to meet my omega, my mate, because this way I’ll be just as miserable as you. So fuck off,_ _Dad_. _I’ll get there myself."_

_Spinning on his heel, he hurried away, ignoring his father’s shouts. He had to find a way to get to Raleigh._

****

**_* * *_ **

****

_Lifting his hand, Raleigh hesitated, biting his lip. Only three weeks had passed since Yancy’s death. Barely two weeks since he’d woken up from his coma. Three days since Paul had completely and utterly rejected him, blaming him for the miscarriage. Now he had to face Marshal Pentecost. It wasn’t the first time they’d been called before him for insubordination during a fight._

_Raleigh winced when he realized he was still thinking in terms of ‘we’ and not just him. He managed, just barely, to stop from reaching for Yancy. Getting lost in a Ghost Drift in front of the marshal’s office would not be a good idea. Knowing he couldn’t put it off any longer, he adjusted the sling cradling his left arm and knocked._

_"Enter."_

_He took a deep breath and opened the door. Stepping inside, he quickly spotted the marshal at his desk. In an effort to delay the inevitable, he carefully shut the door behind him then slowly moved to stand in front of the marshal. The man leaned back in his chair, eyes watching him like a hawk the entire time. It took everything Raleigh had not to fidget beneath that gaze._

_Finally, the marshal rose smoothly to his feet, stepping around his desk to stand directly in front of Raleigh. It felt like an eternity before the marshal spoke, his voice far too calm for Raleigh’s comfort._

_"Were or were you not ordered to hold the Miracle Mile position?"_

_"Sir..."_

_"It’s a simple yes or no question, Mr. Becket."_

_"Yes, sir. We were ordered to the Miracle Mile."_

_"And yet you deviated from your position by nearly six miles. Six miles, Mr. Becket, and for what? A fishing boat with a crew of ten. You put the lives of ten people above the lives of a million people."_

_"We weren’t just going to let them die!" Raleigh protested._

_"That wasn’t your decision to make," the marshal snapped. "You were given direct orders and you willfully disobeyed them and took your brother with you._ "

I’m in your head, kid.

_"We are at war, Mr. Becket, and I will not tolerate your reckless insubordination."_

_Raleigh’s attention snapped back to the marshal as he crowded into Raleigh’s personal space while still not touching him._

_"Are you listening to me, Mr. Becket? Because of you, a good pilot, your brother, is dead and a jaeger has been scrapped. All because you wanted to play boy hero."_

_Raleigh felt the air leave his lungs as the bottom dropped out of his stomach. He recalled Paul saying Gipsy had been scrapped but he hadn’t really believed it. Couldn’t believe it. Now he had no choice. No choice but to realize Yancy was dead and Gipsy was gone because of him. It really was all his fault. He barely heard the marshal’s next words as guilt and self-loathing circled like sharks in his head._

_"There will be a disciplinary hearing next week to determine suitable punishment and your future with the Corps," the marshal said, stepping back._

_Raleigh wanted to laugh. Punishment? He wanted to shout. Wasn’t he already being punished? Yancy was dead. Gipsy was gone. He’d been rejected. He’d lost his baby. What more could they do to him?_

_"You will be informed of the time and place, Mr. Becket. Now get out of my sight."_

_Raleigh stiffly saluted before hurrying from the office. Walking through the Shatterdome, head bent to avoid making eye contact with anyone, Raleigh could feel the weight of everyone’s stares. How many blamed him for Yancy’s death? The useless omega who’d gotten his alpha guardian brother killed? How many believed the wrong brother had died?_

_He didn’t look up until he found himself standing outside the quarters he shared... had shared with Yancy. He hadn’t been here since that night, not having been officially released from Medical yet. Pushing open the door, he stepped inside the closest thing he’d had to a home for the last two and a half years. Instantly, he knew he couldn’t stay. He didn’t know where he’d go or what he’d do but he couldn’t stay._

****

**_* * *_ **

****

_It had been twelve days since he’d found out about Raleigh’s injuries and argued with his father. He’d finally managed to talk his way onto a transport that was heading to Seattle and he’d be able to make his way up to Anchorage from there. He had two hours before it left and was shoving clothes into a rucksack._

_Chuck didn’t look up when the door to his room opened. "I’m not gonna let you stop me. Transport leaves in two hours and I’m gonna be on it."_

_"Chuck."_

_"Take care of Max for me, yeah? I’d take him but I’m gonna need to focus on Raleigh for a bit and I don’t want Max feeling neglected."_

_"Son, Raleigh’s gone."_

_Chuck froze, heart constricting at the first thought that came to mind. "What?" He choked out turning to finally look at his father. "What d’you mean gone?"_

_Herc let out another one of those sighs that made Chuck want to punch him. "I mean that Raleigh has left the PPDC and the Anchorage Shatterdome. I don’t know the whole story; just that he handed in his resignation, refused all benefits he was entitled to, and left. No word on where he was going. I’m sorry."_

_Chuck stared at him. Raleigh had left. He hadn’t waited for Chuck. No. That couldn’t be. Gritting his teeth, Chuck turned back to continue packing._

_"Did you hear what I just said?"_

_"I heard you," Chuck snapped. "I just don’t believe you. He’s still there. Raleigh wouldn’t do that to me."_

_"Raleigh Becket doesn’t know you exist," Herc snapped, "and you can’t keep pretending that isn’t the truth, Chuck. He’s gone. Let it go."_

_"Get out," he said quietly, calmly, his hands fisted in a t-shirt. Max whimpered from his spot at the foot of the bed._

_"Chuck."_

_"I said, get out!" Chuck rounded on him. "Get out, you bastard! Get out!"_

_Chuck’s chest heaved as he struggled to breathe around the anger and pain filling him to overflowing. "Get out."_

_Herc stood stiffly in the doorway as a muscle twitched in his tightly clenched jaw. They stared at each other for a long moment before Herc silently stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him._

_The second the door clicked shut, Chuck sank to his knees beside the bed. Max waddled across the covers, whining a little before licking a stripe up the side of Chuck’s face. Something broke inside Chuck, allowing the sobs to claw their way out of his throat. He clutched at Max, burying his face in the wrinkly skin to muffle the worst of them._

_For the second time in his life Chuck felt like a kaiju had ripped his heart right out of his chest and torn it to shreds. The loss was so acute, it felt like he would die, yet he knew it wouldn’t happen. It was one more loss he was going to have to learn to live with, one more gaping hole in his heart._

****

**_* * *_ **

****

_Raleigh coughed harshly into his fist as the doctor Big Mike had insisted he see moved about the examining room. The doctor went through all the usual things – checking his breathing, eyes, ears and throat, took his blood pressure. Finally, he settled down with a medical history chart and the forms Raleigh had filled out in the waiting room._

_"Alright, I’m fairly certain of my diagnosis but let’s just make sure all the bases are covered, shall we?" The doctor smiled up at him. Raleigh just coughed into his fist again. "Right. You left the current medication field blank. No long term medication from piloting a jaeger or the, uh, the Knifehead incident?"_

_"No, no medications," Raleigh rasped._

_"Okay. I see you also left the inhibitor field blank. What type or even brand inhibitor are you taking to regulate your heat cycle?"_

_"I’m not. I haven’t been on one since... since I stopped piloting."_

_The doctor frowned looking down at the file. "This says you’re unbonded. You should be on some kind of inhibitor if you’re not bonded. When was the last time you went into heat, Mr. Becket?"_

_Raleigh hunched in on himself, stifling another cough._

If we’d known from the start you were pregnant.

Nothing but a useless bitch.

_"My last heat was just over a month before..."_

Raleigh, listen to me...

_"Before I stopped piloting," Raleigh managed to grit out._

_"That... that was two years ago. You’re saying that you haven’t had a heat cycle once in the last two years?" the doctor asked incredulously._

_"No, I haven’t," he said shortly. "Look, doc, can I just get some medicine for this cough and I’ll be on my way? I have to get to work."_

_"That’s... I... I’m sorry, Mr. Becket. It’s just that the doctors at the PPDC medical facility should have told you before you were released."_

_"Told me what?" Raleigh demanded around another cough, eying the man suspiciously as he rummaged through a drawer._

_"It’s not unusual for an omega to miss one, maybe two heat cycles after such a trauma but you’ve gone two years without going into heat. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, Mr. Becket, but you’re sterile. You’ll never bear a child and it’s unlikely you’d be able to father one with a woman or another omega." The doctor held out the pendant he’d pulled out from the drawer._

_Raleigh stared at the black-banded green pendant and its damning black band. All he could hear is blood rushing through his ears, felt his lungs straining to pull in enough oxygen. This was real. It couldn’t be._

No one will want you now. Nothing but a useless bitch.

_Everything went black._

****

**_* * *_ **

****

_Chuck glared as his dad walked into the mess hall, Raleigh fucking Becket trailing in his wake like a stray pet. He’d seen him from a distance earlier as the marshal and Mako were giving him the tour of the ‘Dome. The man had looked a little older and in desperate need of a shower. They’d only exchanged brief glances during which Chuck would admit he’d been trying to eviscerate the other man with just his stare. He was still smarting over the fact that the marshal didn’t think he and his dad could do this job without the help of a washed-up has-been who’d run away when things got too hard for him._

_Looking at him now, Chuck couldn’t help wondering what the hell the man had been doing for the last five years. Showered, shaved, and wearing clothes that were clearly two sizes too big for him, he looked like a stiff wind would knock him over despite the muscles he had. Then he sat down, hunched over his plate like someone was going to snatch it away from him. Chuck glanced at his dad who was also watching Raleigh in concern._

_"It’s not going to run away from you, mate," Chuck said, because this was becoming painful to watch. Raleigh straightened up a little, ate a little slower, but it still felt like watching a feral animal protecting their food. Chuck shot his dad a ‘What the hell?’ look but the old man just shrugged helplessly._

_"So, Riley," he started, looking to see what kind of reaction he’d get. Sure enough Raleigh stiffened, then raised his eyes to glare at him._

_"Raleigh. My name is pronounced Raleigh."_

Ooh, sore spot _, Chuck thought gleefully. Then because he was a masochist and wanted to know why his omega had run away before they could even meet, he kept pushing, ignoring his father’s warnings, ignoring the pain behind the anger in Raleigh’s eyes until he couldn’t take it anymore. One final parting shot to put the has-been in his place and Chuck stalked from the mess hall, Max trotting at his heels._

_Remembering that Raleigh had been wearing PPDC-issued clothes, Chuck detoured to the Supply depot and the quartermaster’s office. The Hong Kong quartermaster was an older Chinese man who barely spoke English and Chuck’s Cantonese was just enough to curse and ask for the loo. Luckily, most of the runners spoke some level of English._

_"Who issued Ranger Becket’s new clothes? Did they look at him or just randomly pick a size. They’re way too big."_

_One of the kids translated and the quartermaster said something, moving to a filing cabinet and pulling out a folder. He handed it to the kid who’d translated, waving his hands._

_"Master Chan says the clothes were issued based on his file. It’s not his fault if it’s filled out wrong."_

_"Let me see that." Chuck flipped it open and frowned. He spun it around for the kid to see, stabbing his finger at the relevant information. "This thing hasn’t been updated in six years, mate. If Becket weighs more than twelve stone I’ll eat my hat. Reissue him clothes two sizes smaller. Length looked fine on the trakkie-daks but the waist was cinched pretty tight. Make sure he’s got them before the tryouts tomorrow. Needs proper clothes to fight in, yeah?"_

_"Yes, sir, Ranger Hansen."_

_"Good," Chuck nodded then left and headed towards his quarters, pleased he’d been able to look after his omega even in such a small way._

**_* * *_ **

****

_The sound of the shift change horns blaring pulled Raleigh from the meditative state he’d fallen into as he worked. He’d found a long time ago that if he focused on the little details of the work he was doing, it helped shut out all the voices in his head._

Raleigh, listen to me.

_He checked the girder he’d been welding, then got to his feet. He unclipped his safety line for the climb down from the top of the Wall then stopped, caught by the austere beauty of the Alaskan wilderness spread out below him. This section of the Wall was travelling through an uninhabited section of Alaska. It looked so pristine, untouched._

_A cold wind blew in off the trees making him sway slightly, filling his nose with scent of snow and pine. The wind swirled around him, buffeting his body like a playful tiger. Stirring memories of time spent at their grandparents’ cabin in the Yukon, memories of Yancy after a particularly annoying round of media interviews._

I swear, kid. I’m gonna fix up the old cabin and become a hermit. Have a couple of huskies and a shotgun to chase off dumbass reporters.

_The wind swept by him again, stronger beneath the slowly setting sun, making him rock on his heels. His hand tightened then loosened on the girder next to him. It would be so easy to lose his grip with the next gust. All he’d have to do is fall. It would be so easy and no one would know it wasn’t an accident._

_"Becket!"_

_Raleigh’s head snapped to the side to find Big Mike less than ten feet away watching him, an unreadable look on his face._

_"End of shift, kid. Time for chow."_

_Raleigh nodded, making his way over to the other man, not looking back._

****

**_* * *_ **

****

_Chuck was working on the hydraulics in Striker’s left foot when he was assaulted by the scent of a familiar omega in distress._

_Raleigh._

_Jumping to his feet, he rushed forward, snarling when his dad grabbed him by the arm to stop him. Raleigh barely flicked them a glance as he hurried by heading straight for Cherno Alpha and the Russian pilots._

_Chuck snarled again. Why was Raleigh going to them? He should be coming to him if there was a problem. He was the one who was supposed to provide comfort and protect him. That was Chuck’s responsibility._

_Shaking off his father’s hand, he went back to where he’d been working only he kept going, using the struts to hide his departure from his father. He stayed on the opposite side of Scramble Alley until he managed to find a spot that gave him an okay view of Cherno’s hangar while keeping himself hidden from passersby._

_He couldn’t see much thanks to Aleksis being the size of a small mountain. He could see Raleigh sitting too close to Sasha. Were they hugging? Why were they hugging?_

_Chuck wanted to storm over there and demand to know what was going on. He knew better than to piss off the Russians though. Because, despite his prior claim on Raleigh, they’d pretty much taken over his guardianship as far as the ‘Dome was concerned. Which meant they wouldn’t tell Chuck squat if they didn’t think he should know._

_Sometime later, Raleigh emerged from beneath Cherno smiling and laughing, even goofing with Aleksis who smiled broadly at the blond Yank. There was still a melancholy air around Raleigh as he left though it was significantly lighter than before._

_Determined to find out what had happened Chuck hurried back to Striker’s hangar. He barely slowed as he passed by, just shouted, "C’mon, Max. I’m taking Max for a walk. See ya later."_

_He ignored his dad’s curious frown, hurrying to keep Raleigh in sight without alerting the other man to the fact he was being followed. They wandered all over before ending up on a platform overlooking Gipsy Danger. Chuck watched Raleigh sit down on the edge, arms resting on the lowest rung of the railing. The longer he sat there, the more depressed he seemed to become until Chuck couldn’t take it anymore. He squatted down so he could look Max in the eye._

_"Alright, buddy. I need you to go see Raleigh, okay?" he said quietly, hoping his voice wouldn’t carry. "Go see Raleigh!" He commanded, pointing towards the slumped over blond. Max looked at Raleigh, him and then back to Raleigh. Mission accepted, he waddled over and nosed under Raleigh’s arm. Chuck snickered at the yelp the other man let out right until it looked like he was going to knock Chuck’s dog off the couple hundred foot drop. Luckily he didn’t or Chuck would’ve pushed him off it as well._

_That’s when he realized the flaw in his plan and just managed to duck down a side hallway before Raleigh spotted him. He counted to thirty before peeking around the corner. Raleigh was staring up at Gipsy again while absently petting Max. Eventually he said something to Max, Chuck caught just enough to realize Raleigh was going to look for him to return Max._

_Dammit. He was going to have to find the right spot to ‘run into’ him or he’d know Chuck had been following him. What followed was like a demented game of ‘follow the leader’ mixed with ‘hide and seek’ while trying to keep others from pointing out he was right behind Raleigh._

_Finally, Raleigh headed to the hangar and Chuck lagged behind enough to give his arrival credibility. Coming up behind him as he talked to Herc, Chuck was about to ask why Raleigh had been hugging Sasha when he remembered he wasn’t supposed to know that. Instead he said, "Oi, there you are, Max. What’re you doing with my dog, Becket?"_

_That was a pretty neutral and perfectly natural question, Chuck thought to himself._

_"He found me on one of Gipsy’s platforms. I didn’t think him wandering off was a usual thing so I thought I’d bring him back."_

_How dare he imply I don’t always know where Max is, Chuck inwardly seethed. "Are you trying to tell me how to look after my dog,_ Ra _leigh?"_

_Raleigh shook his head. "No, I just thought you might be worried about where he was. I’ll see you around, Herc, Chuck."_

_Chuck scowled after him as he left. Why’d he say goodbye to his dad first and then him? Chuck flinched when his dad smacked him in the back of the head._

_"What the hell was that, you drongo?"_

_"What?" Chuck scowled at him. What had he done? Raleigh was the one who’d acted like Chuck couldn’t look after his own damn dog. Herc shook his head and stomped off. Chuck rolled his eyes at his dad’s dramatics and went back to staring moodily in the direction Raleigh had gone._

****

**_* * *_ **

****

_"Tell me, Mr. Becket, where would you rather die when the apocalypse comes? On some Wall? Or in a jaeger?"_

_"I think that you are not nearly as damaged as you think you are."_

_"When you stop looking like little lost puppy we will agree with you."_

_"Gipsy is stronger than she was before."_

_"We are not your Alphas but we can be family."_

_"You are strong. You are survivor. Do not doubt."_

_"Because even if we close the Breach whose to say they won’t find another way?"_

_"I will not hold back."_

_"Ranger Hansen said to stop skipping meals."_

_"We all have pain in our past. I will help all that I can."_

_"You nearly got us all killed because you couldn’t keep your shit together."_

_"If you cannot do that then you are of no use to me."_

_"No one living should know what it feels like to die."_

_"Chuck’s favorite was Gipsy Danger and her pilots."_

_"Your brother’s death was not your fault."_

_"I’m tired of you wrecking my life but order are orders, yeah?"_

_"Wanted to make sure you knew I wanted to do that before we shared brain space."_

**_* * *_ **

****

_Watching Raleigh step into his rigging, Chuck debated saying something. He knew there was no way he was going to be able to hide his feelings in the Drift. He knew there was a chance Raleigh wouldn’t return those feelings; he’d certainly done his best to piss off and alienate the other man. Did he want to take that chance?_

_Yeah, he did._

_"What?" Raleigh asked when he caught him looking._

_"Just..."_ Ah, fuck it, _Chuck thought stepping forward to press his lips to Raleigh’s. He kept it light despite the urge to try and crawl into the blond’s drive suit with him. Since Raleigh didn’t immediately pull away, he licked along Raleigh’s lower lip, tasting him. When Raleigh’s mouth opened, he licked into him, desperate for a taste of more. It was everything Chuck had dreamed it would be and more and he cursed himself for all the time he’d spent being angry at the man when they could have been doing this._

_Raleigh’s helmet bumping into his side reminded him they were here for a reason and he reluctantly backed away. He smirked at the whimper Raleigh let out when he backed off. God, he wanted to spend forever seeing just how many moans and whimpers he could pull from Raleigh during sex. Seeing Raleigh lick his lips damn near had him saying fuck the mission._

_"What was that?" Raleigh eventually asked in a husky tone that went straight to Chuck’s cock. He looked so sweetly confused Chuck couldn’t help stealing another kiss before moving over to the left side rigging. Raleigh was still staring at him._

_"Chuck?"_

_"Wanted to make sure you knew I wanted to do that before we shared brain space," he finally responded._

_"Really?"_

_"Yes, really," he glared, angry that Raleigh didn’t believe his sincerity._ And whose fault was that, you twat? _he mentally chastised himself. They didn’t have time for this now. "We gonna do this or what?" Chuck demanded, settling himself into the rigging._

_"Right. Yeah," he heard Raleigh mutter as he pulled on his helmet. "Ready?"_

_"Just waiting on you, has-been," Chuck rolled his eyes._

_"Brat."_

_Chuck felt a warmth rush over him at the obvious affection in Raleigh’s voice. Maybe he hadn’t cocked things up too bad. He almost missed Choi’s countdown to the handshake._

_"Three... Two... Now."_

_The world dissolved into blue._


	9. Chapter 9

A tidal wave of emotions crashed over them, nearly pulling them under until they found their bearings. When they opened their eyes, their gazes were locked on each other. Neither mentioned the tears on their cheeks.

::Jesus fucking Christ, Raleigh.::

::I know. I told you I was damaged.::

::You’re not fucking damaged, mate. I swear we’re gonna have a long talk when this is over.::

::You’re actually going to talk about feelings?::

::You should feel privileged. It only happens once a decade or so.::

Raleigh’s laughter echoed through the Drift like ringing bells.

::Let’s do this.::

Together they reached for the comms, speaking in one voice, "LOCCENT, Gipsy Danger is ready for drop."

*** * ***

"Handshake is... Whoa," Tendo stared at the readings in front of him.

"What is it, Mr. Choi?" Marshal Pentecost asked, leaning over to see the readings himself. "Is the neural handshake established and stable?"

"Yes, sir, it’s just..."

"We don’t have time for indecisiveness. Is there a problem?"

"Sir, the average pilot team has a brain wave variance of 8-10%. The max we allow for a team is 13%. The Kaidonovskys held the record at 5.2% after nine years of piloting together. The Wei Tangs average at 6%."

"The point, Mr. Choi."

"Raleigh and Chuck have a brain wave variance of 1.8%, sir. It’s unheard of."

"LOCCENT, Gipsy Danger is ready for drop."

Tendo stared as the two men’s voices came over the comms in perfect sync. The only telling difference was Chuck’s accent.

"That was kind of creepy," Tendo muttered.

"You have a go, gentlemen," Marshal Pentecost said into the commas, ignoring Tendo. "Keep us informed of what’s going on out there."

"Yes, sir," came the dual response.

"I wonder if they even know they’re doing it?" Tendo commented, going over the neural readings. This really was like nothing he’d ever seen before.

"Just keep an eye on them, Mr. Choi," Marshal Pentecost said softly.

"Yes, sir."

*** * ***

Raleigh and Chuck went through several system checks, familiarizing and re-familiarizing themselves with Gipsy’s updated systems, as they were carried out to the bay. When they were close enough to the kaiju, they began running scans.

They spotted Striker easily enough with Leatherback circling the unmoving jaeger. Chuck’s jaw clenched as a complicated wash of emotions seeped into the Drift. 

::She’s still standing and looks undamaged,:: Raleigh tried to reassure him.

::They’re bloody sitting ducks like that.::

::I know. We’re almost there. Any sign of Cherno or Typhoon?::

::No sign of Cherno. Fuck. I think that’s one of Typhoon’s arms sticking out over there. I’m sorry.::

:: If the conn-pod’s intact, they can survive being submerged.::

::Raleigh.::

::Don’t.::

_Never be less than you are._

::We need to concentrate on Leatherback right now and,:: they both stared. ::Is that your dad and Mako climbing out of Striker’s hatch?::

::What are you doing, Dad?::

::Did they just shoot flare guns at a kaiju?:: Raleigh stared incredulously at Chuck. A mixture of embarrassment and pride came through the Drift. ::And the marshal thought I was a bad influence on Mako.::

::Oi!::

::Let’s go rescue them before they do something even more stupid. Sound the horn to get its attention.::

They sighed in relief when Leatherback turned from the immobilized jaeger to roar at them. Wanting to draw it away from Striker, they released the transport clamps.

"Disengaging from transport, LOCCENT. Striker is disabled but no visible damage. Crimson Typhoon is down. No sign of Cherno Alpha. Engaging Leatherback. No sign of Otachi."

"Proceed with caution, Gipsy. We believe Leatherback was the source of the pulse."

"Acknowledged, LOCCENT."

Then Leatherback was on them. It reminded Raleigh of a large gorilla. An image from a nature documentary flashed in the Drift for a second. 

The damn thing packed quite a punch as they grappled with it, trying to find a weak spot. When a section of plating on its back began to glow, they maneuvered around behind it. It took a few hard yanks before they were able to rip it off and send it flying across the bay. Leatherback roared twisting in their grip faster than expected. The kaiju gripped them around the mid-section, lifting them as it spun in place to get the momentum to fling them across the bay into a dockyard.

Despite the situation, Raleigh couldn’t help laughing at the litany of curses Chuck was spewing. He didn’t even understand more than the gist of them as they were all Australian slang.

::Guess we got his attention,:: Raleigh commented as they twisted into a crouch on landing, still sliding back several hundred feet.

::Ya think, _Ra_ leigh. We need to stay out of his grip. He’s too strong.::

::Yeah. We need to even things up.::

Together, they reached for a handful of shipping containers, putting several into each of Gipsy’s hands.

Leatherback pounded the ground, roaring before he began running towards them. They planted their feet, crouching a little to brace themselves. At the last minute, they darted to the side of Leatherback’s path, causing him to rush past them. They got him in the back of the head rattling him. Before he could recover, they followed it up with several more blows.

Explosions in the distance reminded them this wasn’t the only kaiju out there. It also distracted them just enough to let Leatherback regain some of its senses. Leatherback grabbed their arms trying to grapple.

Knowing they needed to end this, Raleigh activated the plasma caster. He blinked when it didn’t take near as long to charge as it used to. Twisting their right arm out of Leatherback’s grip, they brought the cannon to bear on the ribcage just below its armpit.

With a savage grin, they fired shot after shot into the bellowing kaiju. Satisfaction filled them at the sight of Leatherback’s arm separating from its body, the kaiju crashing to the ground unmoving. They started to turn away until the memory of another kaiju who’d played dead rose briefly to the surface of the Drift.

::Just to be sure,:: Raleigh said.

::Overkill is better than no kill, I reckon,:: Chuck agreed.

They fired several shots ,slagging most of the chest cavity. No chance it was getting back up.

::Time to find the other one,:: Chuck said ,adjusting the display to track Otachi.

::Hey, Chuck, how do you feel about baseball?:: Raleigh asked, even as they were reaching for the freighter.

::This is why I’ve been in love with you since I was fourteen, Rals.:: Chuck grinned, making Raleigh blush.

*** * ***

Stacker stood in the middle of LOCCENT, an unmoving stone, observing the techs scrambling to get the monitoring systems back online. He watched as Tendo split his attention between the repairs, monitoring the Becket/Hansen neural handshake, and the incoming reports from the helicopters, multi-tasking with ease. It was a reminder of just why Tendo Choi was considered the finest Chief LOCCENT officer in the Corps.

The sound of familiar boots approaching in the hallway had Stacker turning just in time to see Herc and Mako, still in their drive suits, arrive. "Shouldn’t you be in Medical?"

"M’fine," Herc grumbled, coming to stand next to him. "Just banged m’shoulder. How’re the boys doing? The Drift holding steady between them?"

Stacker noted the way Herc had his right arm cradled against his chest, fingers curled around the edge of his chest plating to keep it in place. Mako gave an almost imperceptible shake of her head at his look.

"We’ve had no word from them since they engaged Leatherback. They are still in alignment though. In fact, their neural handshake is the strongest we’ve ever seen." He gestured towards the appropriate monitor at Herc’s disbelieving look. He shifted his attention to Mako for a moment. She smiled, bowing her head. Stacker returned the gesture.

"Oi! Tendo! Are these readings accurate?" Herc demanded.

"Yes, sir," Tendo responded affably, barely looking up from the wires he was splicing. "They’ve been hovering between 1.6 and 1.8% the whole time."

"Try contacting them again once you’ve finished, Mr. Choi."

He immediately handed the wires over to the tech next to him. Sliding back into his chair, he toggled the comms. "LOCCENT to Gipsy Danger. Hey, guys? What’s going on out there? Monitors are still fried and Raleigh’s not doing his usual blow-by-blow commentary."

"Sorry about that, LOCCENT," came the echoed reply. "Leatherback is dead. We’re tracking Otachi into the city. We’ll try to verbalize more."

"Much appreciated, Gipsy," Tendo said then muted their side, smirking at the surprised looks on Herc and Mako’s faces. "Creepy, right?"

"What the hell was that?" Herc demanded.

"Less than 2% brain wave variance," Tendo replied. "If I had to guess, the reason they’re not talking to us is because they’re talking in the Drift; communicating telepathically."

"You can’t talk in the Drift and fight. It’s impossible to split your attention like that," Herc insisted.

"And yet that is exactly what they appear to be doing," Stacker replied steadily. 

Herc frowned.

"It looks like Otachi is going after one of the kaiju shelters. Engaging now."

Tendo frowned, looking to Stacker. "Isn’t..."

"He is."

"Of course he is," Tendo muttered then activated the comms. "Guys. Newt is in town. It might be after him."

"Oh, that’s just brilliant."

Tendo stared at the comms before shaking his head. "Chuck’s vocabulary in Raleigh’s voice is just plain weird."

"The repairs, Mr. Choi," Stacker reminded him.

"Yes, sir." He got back to work.

Stacker turned to Herc who was still staring at the neural handshake monitor. "You need to report to Medical, Herc."

"Not until they’re on their way back," he insisted, expression mulish. 

Stacker sighed, knowing it was useless to argue. "Fine. Sit and monitor the handshake. Move from that chair and I’ll have Medical sedate you."

"Tyrant," Herc muttered but did as he was told.

Mako stood resolutely beside Stacker. He said nothing but was glad for her presence.

*** * ***

::Wonder how it knows where Newt is?::

::He Drifted with a kaiju brain, mate. Who the hell knows what that means.::

::True,:: Raleigh conceded. ::Hey, he finally noticed us.::

Otachi looked up as they approached, letting out a shriek.

::Alright then. Batter up.::

They wore matching looks of savage glee as they smashed Otachi’s head once, twice, three times before the kaiju grabbed the ship with its prehensile tail, ripping it from their hands. They didn’t let up, hammering at it with their fists instead, Chuck bitching all the while about not having Striker’s sting blades to do even more damage.

::Quit insulting Gipsy,:: Raleigh snapped as they got smashed back by Otachi’s tail.

::Not insulting her,:: Chuck groused. ::Just saying we could do more damage. What the fuck is that thing doing?::

They stared as Otachi’s throat ballooned, reminding Raleigh of a bullfrog. They were so surprised, they just barely managed to step out of the way of the stream of kaiju blue acid spit. Seeing the damage done to the building behind them, Raleigh shoved their right arm down Otachi’s throat, gripped what they hoped was the right piece of anatomy and pulled. Chuck reached to grab Otachi’s jaw but was stopped by that damn tail wrapping around their left arm, the pinchers snapping at their head.

Chuck felt the moment Raleigh started to slip into memories best left alone and cut it off. ::On point, Raleigh,:: he snapped, jolting him back into the here and now.

::Thanks. The venting coolant.::

::On it. Hold him steady.::

::Got it.::

They shared grins, elation pulsing through the Drift, as they first flash froze and shattered Otachi’s tail then ripped out that damn sac of acidic spit. Otachi jumping on them, digging its hind claws into their back as they took aim, barely fazed them. It wasn’t until those spindly arms suddenly snapped out into wings that they had a clue things were about to go very wrong, very fast.

::What the fuck?:: they echoed in other’s thoughts even as they fought through the biofeedback loop of pain.

::Do you think...:: The sudden jerk of Otachi becoming airborne and taking them along for the ride answered that question. Raleigh fired the last couple of shots but it seemed to do little more than piss the kaiju off.

Struggling in Otachi’s hold as they were lifted ever higher didn’t get them much other than a tighter grip causing them to grunt in pain.

::Told you Striker’s sting blades would be handy,:: Chuck sniped, scrabbling at Otachi’s flank in an effort to do some kind of damage.

::Oh, shut... wait! I think,:: Raleigh began punching commands into the console as a memory of Mako came to the surface of the Drift.

_I also added a sword to her weaponry._

::We’ve got a sword?!:: Chuck crowed even as Raleigh activated it.

::Yeah, but do you have any idea of how to use it?:: Raleigh asked, only having a vague notion from Mako’s indistinct memories.

::Yeah,:: Chuck grinned. ::The pointy end goes in the other guy.::

He brought their left arm up in a graceful underhanded swing and severed Otachi’s right wing like a hot knife through butter.

::Hell yeah!:: Raleigh grinned then realized they had another problem. ::Shit.::

"LOCCENT, this is Gipsy Danger. Otachi is dead but the bastard had wings. We are currently at 50,000 feet and falling. Please advise."

"You’re what?" Tendo yelped over the comms. "Hold on!"

::What the bloody hell are we supposed to hold on to? Our arses?::

"40,000 feet to impact," Gipsy’s AI announced.

"Gipsy, listen to me," Marshal Pentecost’s voice came over the comms. "Loosen all the shock absorbers, use your gyroscope as balance and ball up! It’s your only chance!"

"Yes, sir," they responded even as Chuck mentally snorted.

::Ball up? We want to slow down, not speed up.::

::I know. I have an idea.::

"20,000 feet to impact."

"Fuel purge, now!" they ordered the computer. Fuel immediately vented into the chamber in front of the core, causing a small explosion that actually pushed them back. It was only a few seconds then they were falling again. They were still coming in too fast but there was nothing they could do expect brace themselves.

"Impact alert,” Gipsy’s AI intoned.

::No shit,:: Chuck muttered just before they slammed feet first into the ground, knees flexing in an attempt to try and absorb the shock of impact.

For a long moment, everything was fuzzy and there was a ringing sound in the air.

::Chuck?:: ::Raleigh?:: they thought at the same time, lifting their heads to grin at each other in sheer relief of being alive. They straightened up cautiously, checking for damages to themselves and to Gipsy. Nothing major; nothing irreparable. They’d made it.


	10. Chapter 10

By the time they had Gipsy shut down and the Drift disengaged, Raleigh knew he had a problem. The adrenaline from the fight and their impromptu sky diving adventure had long since begun to wear off yet he still felt keyed up. There was a restless ache in his gut, a burning need that centered on Chuck.

Raleigh’s eyes widened in realization as Chuck began advancing on him, a low current of lust running between them in the Ghost Drift. If he wasn’t so concerned with stopping Chuck, he’d wonder what that was.

"Chuck," he started hands up even as he backed away from the other ranger. "You don’t really want this. It’s just the Drift. You’re not thinking clearly."

"I reckon I am, mate," Chuck replied, continuing forward until Raleigh ran into the conn-pod wall. "I know exactly what I want and it’s not because of the Drift." He leaned forward putting his hands on the conn-pod wall, boxing Raleigh in. "You were just in my head. Still are from the way we’re ghosting. We both know me wanting you isn’t something new. Wanted you since before I knew what my dong was for. And we both know the feeling is mutual. You can try to claim it’s just the mindless lust of a heat but we both know it’s not. You’re scared. I don’t know if it’s of letting anyone in or you think I’m gonna leave you or what and I don’t much care."

"And why’s that?" Raleigh demanded, a spark of anger flaring.

"Simple really. I don’t plan to leave you. You’re my copilot now. Us bonding is only a matter of time. The real question is are you going to be a coward and run away again or are you going to act like a fucking jaeger pilot?"

Raleigh snarled, going to shove him away. Instead, he found his fingers curling around the edges of Chuck’s chest plate pushing at him but not letting him go far. "Don’t you... I... You..."

"I’m a bastard, I know," Chuck agreed, his hands gently wrapping around Raleigh’s wrists. "I’m not leaving you, Raleigh. I’ll bond with you right now if you’ll let me. I’m never letting you go now that I’ve got you. Say yes. Please."

Letting out a broken sound, Raleigh hauled Chuck into him, their mouths crashing together in a bruising kiss. He moaned as Chuck pushed him back into the wall, pressing their bodies together. Need quickly gave way to frustration at the inability to get any real skin contact.

Chuck pulled back a little to press his forehead against Raleigh’s, their panting breaths mingling. "We need to get out of these damn suits before I sprain my dick."

Raleigh laughed. "Nice, Hansen."

"Like you’re not having the same issue?"

Grimacing, Raleigh shifted uncomfortably. "At least that’s your only issue."

Chuck’s eyes darkened in arousal, his nostrils flaring as he breathed in Raleigh’s unique musk. "Are you wet right now? Am I turning you on that much?"

Raleigh blushed, thumping Chuck in the shoulder with his fist. "I’m in heat, you jackass. Yes, I’m wet and it’s fucking uncomfortable in this thing."

"Can’t have that," Chuck grinned, pressing in for another kiss then pulled away, grabbing Raleigh’s hand to practically drag him out of the conn-pod. They were met outside by the drive suit techs, who all looked a bit uncomfortable. There was no doubt they knew what had been going on in there. Raleigh turned a brighter shade of red while Chuck looked smug.

"Just the spine, yeah?" Chuck said. "We’ll take care of the rest back in our quarters."

Thankfully for Raleigh’s embarrassment, the techs agreed without question. They did ask that the suits be returned as soon as possible even if it meant using a runner. ~~~~

By the time they made it down to the main floor, a large crowd had gathered to congratulate them. At the sight of all the people waiting for them, Raleigh’s eyes widened in dismay. Any other time and he’d at least grin and bear it. Right now, he desperately wanted to be anywhere but there. There were too many people around, closing in on him. His drive suit was really beginning to chafe and all he wanted to do was get Chuck alone somewhere so he could climb the younger pilot like a tree. The cocky grin Chuck gave him at that thought along with the low thrum of lust and possessiveness filtering into the Ghost Drift from Chuck’s side was not helping.

Thankfully, Chuck had picked up on his distress and was pushing through the crowd with, for him, semi-polite determination. It wasn’t until Herc and Mako stepped to the front of the crowd that they stopped. Herc started to say something, a bittersweet smile aimed at Chuck, when his eyes snapped to Raleigh, his nostrils flaring as Raleigh’s scent reached him. His sharp gaze ping-ponged between them before he gave a quick nod.

"Right then. Best get you two some place private." He turned to the gathered crowd who were still cheering and clapping. "Oi! Back to work, you lot. We’ve got two jaegers to repair and not lot of time. Clear a path!"

The crowd parted, though they didn’t get far before the marshal striding towards them stopped them.

"In all my years fighting," he said coming to a stop, frowning between them, "I have never seen anything like that, gentlemen." His frown morphed into a broad smile. "Congratulations on a job well done."

Raleigh felt his heart constrict at Marshal Pentecost’s next words.

"Your brother would have..."

"Don’t," Chuck interrupted, glaring fiercely. "All due respect, _sir_ , you blamed Raleigh for his brother’s death. You don’t get to speak on Yancy’s behalf now."

"Chuck," Herc snapped, subsiding when Marshal Pentecost raised a hand.

"No. He’s right. My actions then were wrong but I think now is not the time for that discussion." Lifting his gaze from Raleigh, he looked around at the crowd. "We lost two good crews today. Unfortunately there is no time to mourn for them. There is work to be done if we are to succeed. Reset the clock!"

Raleigh frowned at the sight of a drop of blood splashing onto the marshal’s shirt collar. It wasn’t until he saw Mako make a gesture towards her nose and the marshal mimicked it that he realized it was the marshal’s own blood. A crisp handkerchief was pulled out and pressed to his nose as the man hurried away. 

Catching Mako’s gaze, Raleigh saw the grief in them before she looked away. He debated saying something until a flare of heat in his stomach had him clutching Chuck’s arm, struggling not to give any outward sign of his need. The three alphas quickly got them moving again. Raleigh wasn’t so far gone that he didn’t notice the occasional alpha move towards the front of the slowly drifting away crowd. Each of them was warned off by a growl from Chuck or Herc, and once by Mako.

Finally, they reached the beginning of the residential area set aside for Rangers. Herc and Mako left them shortly thereafter, and Raleigh spared a moment to wonder where they were headed. Chuck continued to lead the way, hand tightly gripping Raleigh’s as if he might lose him. He paused at one hallway junction, indecisive, then turned resolutely down the hallway that led to Raleigh’s quarters.

Raleigh felt a brief flash of surprise. Paul... Paul had always preferred they go to his room, his territory. He’d assumed Chuck would want the same. Knowing they were going to his own room eased something in him he hadn’t known had tensed.

Amused by the sneer Chuck tossed at Mako’s door, Raleigh shook his head, knowing it was an alpha reaction to a possible competitor. Chuck’s memories of Mako had been painted with shades of affection and sibling rivalry.

In Raleigh’s quarters, the door closed behind them at last, they stood staring at each other. Neither was quite ready to make the first move now that they were there. The reassurances of earlier had begun to fade, allowing all of Raleigh’s insecurities to creep back in. Chuck was one of the best pilots in the Corps. He was incredibly intelligent and a deeply caring individual even if his social skills led you to believe otherwise. What could he possibly see in someone like Raleigh?

Closing his eyes, Raleigh took a deep breath, preparing himself to tell Chuck this was a mistake. He opened his eyes to find Chuck only an inch away. The concern and lust and affection pouring from Chuck belied the glare on his face.

"I thought we talked about this, _Ra_ leigh? I’m not leaving you and you’re not running away anymore."

Raleigh licked his dry lips, thrilling a little at Chuck’s soft groan. "It’s hard."

Chuck brought his gloved hands up to cradle Raleigh’s head, resting their foreheads together. "I swear I’ll kill that bastard for what he did to you. I can’t help being grateful you never bonded but it still didn’t give him the right to treat you the way he did. He’s the one who’s poison, worthless and all the other shitty things that he said to you. I don’t want you to be anything other than what you are and that’s pretty goddamned close to perfect."

"What?" Raleigh let out a watery laugh. "You don’t want perfect?"

"Perfect is boring and for lazy bludgers who don’t want a challenge." Chuck gave him a cocky grin. "Now if you’re done being a big girl think you feel like kissing me any time soon?"

"Bastard," Raleigh chuckled, closing the gap between them, cutting off his response. Heat flared, suffusing his entire body the moment their lips met. One or both of them groaned, pushing forward for more contact only to be thwarted by their armor.

Letting out a growl, Chuck pulled back to begin removing Raleigh’s armor. Raleigh stayed passive beneath Chuck’s ministrations for a moment, struggling to keep himself from tackling the other man to the ground and simply humping him. As soon as he had himself remotely under control, he attacked Chuck’s armor, undoing the emergency releases to strip it off him as quickly as he could.

When just the circuitry suits were left, Chuck spun Raleigh around so he could undo the zipper. Raleigh steadied himself on his desk, groaning when Chuck suddenly pressed up against his back, nose buried between his bare shoulder blades.

"Fuck, you smell so good," Chuck muttered, inhaling the intoxicating scent deep into his lungs, his hands tights on Raleigh’s hips.

"It’s," Raleigh swallowed thickly, trying to hold onto a coherent thought. "It’s the heat h-hormones. S’posed to smell good."

Chuck shook his head, his forehead rolling across Raleigh’s skin like a firebrand. "Y’ always smell good. ‘S just more now."

Then Chuck licked along one of the suit scars on his back, making Raleigh cry out, his hips bucking back into Chuck, grinding his ass against the blatant erection. Chuck let out a hissing breath, his hands clenching tight enough to bruise, but he got the hint. He helped Raleigh out of the top half of the suit, dropping to his knees as he pushed the thick material down past Raleigh’s hips. When it slipped past his ass, they were both hit by the scent of Raleigh’s sex.

Raleigh grunted as the suit was jerked to his knees, followed by his soaked boxer briefs. He dropped down to his elbows on the desk with a mewling cry when Chuck began to lick at the fluid covering his inner thighs. By the time he reached Raleigh’s opening, Raleigh was panting with need.

"Chuck, please. Please."

"Shh. Gonna take good care of you," Chuck answered right before he pressed the flat of his tongue against Raleigh’s hole, lapping at his mating fluids.

Raleigh keened, his hands scrabbling at the surface of the desk before he managed to grab the far edge of it. The muscles of his arms stood out in stark relief from his tight grip; his back rose sharply with each gasping breath. Raleigh felt like he was going insane as Chuck consumed him.

Broad licks were mixed with sucking and biting kisses. Chuck’s fingers spread him wide, exposing him to that teasing tongue. At the feel of Chuck’s tongue pushing into him Raleigh’s entire body tensed and shuddered, his breath catching in his throat, as his orgasm ripped through him. Everything went black in a wave of white-hot heat. 

*** * ***

Entering the mess hall, Herc wasn’t surprised when Mako refused to let him carry his own tray as he followed her through the chow line and to an empty table. Sitting down, he rearranged his tray to his liking while Mako serenely fixed her cup of tea just so. The silence stretched between them.

Herc knew he would have to be the one to say something. He’d watched the girl grow up over the years and knew she’d consider it impolite or impertinent for her to speak first despite all the questions he could see in her eyes. Question was what to bring up first? A lot had happened in the last several hours. He poked at his food a bit, sneaking quick peaks at her through his lashes. She watched him steadily over the rim of her teacup.

"Right," Herc cleared his throat. "What you saw in the Drift, me an’..."

"You do not need to explain," she hurried to interrupt, cheeks pinking. "I have not been unaware of your relationship with Sensei."

"Oh. Uh," he stammered, and now it was Herc’s turn to blush.

Putting down her teacup, Mako gave him a small but genuinely warm smile. "Sensei has always held himself apart from others and I have worried about him. I am glad to know that he is loved and has allowed himself to return that love. Even if only in private."

"Well, good," Herc smiled faintly, turning his attention back to the food he was pushing around his plate.

"Talk about crazy nights," Tendo announced, dropping into the seat next to Mako with two cups of coffee and a bagel in his hands.

"LOCCENT back up and running?" Herc asked, finally taking a bite of his food.

"All but a couple minor systems that are being completely rewired as we speak. Shouldn’t be too much longer," Tendo assured them, slathering cream cheese on his bagel. "What about you two? Any side effects from the neural handshake being unexpectedly cut off?"

"I do not believe so," Mako said, looking to Herc who was already nodding in agreement.

"Mild Drift hangover is all. Had worse the first time I Drifted with Chuck."

"You also weren’t doped up on painkillers for a broken arm," Tendo pointed out.

"I am not doped up." Herc stabbed his fork at Tendo. "And even if I was, it wouldn’t do much for a Drift hangover. Only cure for that is time and sleep."

"I bow to your superior experience," Tendo flashed Herc a smile. Herc rolled his eyes while Mako hid her smile behind a teacup.

The three of them sat in comfortable silence for a while, enjoying the brief respite. Eventually, Tendo cleared his throat looking uncomfortable. "Do we know what’s going to happen now with Pitfall? We can’t make the run with only one jaeger."

"We’ve still go two jaegers," Herc replied frowning.

"Yea, but, you can’t pilot with a broken arm. Mako can’t pilot by herself and, sorry Mako, putting two inexperienced pilots together for something like this just isn’t a good idea," Tendo insisted.

"Sensei will do what is best for the success of the mission," Mako said with a surety she didn’t entirely feel.

"Who else..."

"Ranger Hansen!"

They all turned to see Dr. Ting from Medical striding towards them with a determined look.

"Where are your son and Ranger Becket? They should have come to the infirmary as soon as they returned from the harbor." She looked around as if expecting them to immediately appear.

"Becket went into heat," he answered. "We escorted them to Ranger Quarters. I reckon they’re holed up in Becket’s room."

"Hardly surprising yet that does not excuse them from post-mission exams. We do them for a reason." She glared at him as if he was responsible for their behavior.

"What’s hardly surprising?" Herc frowned.

"Ranger Becket going into heat after Drifting with an unbonded alpha who is not a relative. Particularly one he is so uniquely Drift compatible with. Drifting is a very intimate experience," she explained. "I would have been more surprised if he had not."

"But Raleigh’s sterile," Tendo blurted out.

"He has not had a heat in five years," Mako added.

Dr. Ting shook her head. "I am not discussing Ranger Becket’s medical history with you but being sterile does not mean an omega cannot go into heat; while not having a heat does not necessarily mean one is sterile. Make sure they report to Medical when they emerge, Ranger Hansen," Dr. Ting ordered before turning and leaving. 

Herc watched her go, wondering. Turning back, he met Mako’s eyes, could see the same questions in them.

"Talk about non-answers," Tendo muttered, then frowned at Herc. "Wouldn’t they be in Chuck’s room? I thought you alphas were big on territory and where you, you know?"

"We are," Herc grunted. "Which is why they’re in Becket’s."

"You’ve lost me."

"Chuck’s room is part of Herc’s territory," Mako answered. "Even as a blood relation, Chuck would see his father as a competitor as none of them are actively bonded. If Chuck and Raleigh were already bonded, it would be different. Since they are not, he would not go somewhere that smelled of another alpha if he had a choice."

"If they Bond, will they stay in Raleigh’s quarters then or will they move in with you?"

Herc grimaced at that thought. It wasn’t that he didn’t want his son close but the rooms in their quarters weren’t exactly soundproof. Plus they all had to survive Pitfall.

Seeing the pained look on Herc’s face and having a better understanding of his complicated relationship with his son since their Drift, Mako answered for him. "It will be up to Chuck and Raleigh what they choose to do as there are advantages and disadvantages to both choices. I do not think they will decide until after the Breach is sealed."

Thankfully Tendo got the hint, paling a little. He gave a short nod as he gathered up his things. "I’ve gotta check on the repairs but then I’m going to get a couple hours shuteye. I suggest you two do the same. If Gottlieb’s predictions are right we’ve got about eight to ten hours before the next kaiju come through."

"We will be ready," Mako replied solemnly. Tendo smiled and walked away. She waited until he was gone before turning to Herc. "Who will pilot Striker? He is right. You cannot pilot with a broken arm. I also agree that putting two inexperienced pilots on this mission would be a bad idea."

Herc sighed, shaking his head. "I don’t know though don’t think I won’t strap on a jaeger even with a broken arm if I have to. This mission is already suicide with just two jaegers. Sending only one down would be like tossing a chicken in a cage full of hungry dingoes. They wouldn’t stand a chance. We’ll figure something out."

Mako bowed her head in acknowledgement. There really wasn’t anything else to say at this point.

*** * ***

When Raleigh came to, he was in his bed, completely nude. The low ache of his heat had started to make itself known, but there was none of the usual aches he associated with mating present. Actually he felt clean. He was still leaking, would until his heat passed, but the excess and the sweat from the fight earlier were gone. He was alone though. A hard ache formed in his chest at that realization.

Slinging an arm over his eyes, Raleigh squeezed them shut, willing the prickling in them to go away. He wasn’t going to cry. The lying bastard wasn’t worth it.

"Raleigh? What’s wrong? You in pain?"

The feel of the bed dipping and Chuck’s voice so close surprised him so much he almost clocked Chuck, he pulled his arm away from his face so fast. Raleigh stared at Chuck who stared back concerned.

"Raleigh?"

"You’re here." Raleigh said.

"Course I’m here. Where else... You thought I’d left," he said flatly.

"You weren’t here."

"I was in the loo, you stupid seppo." Chuck’s frown shifted to something murderous. "That bloody fucker used to fuck you and then leave didn’t he?"

"Kick me out actually," Raleigh muttered, picking at the sheet beneath him. "We were always in his room. I guess, I just... When I didn’t see you..."

He fell silent as Chuck moved so that he was straddling Raleigh’s waist, his hands framing Raleigh’s face, forcing him to look up at him.

"I told you before, I’m telling you now and I’ll keep telling you until it sinks in. I’m not leaving you. We’re copilots now. The second you give the word, I will bond with you. I want you as my mate, Raleigh. Always have. Can’t see that ever changing."

"I... We..." Raleigh squeezed his eyes shut for a moment sucking in a ragged breath. Raleigh thought his heart might break when he met Chuck’s eyes. "We can’t bond."

"Why the bloody hell not?" Chuck demanded.

"I-I’m sterile," he whispered. "I’m sterile, Chuck. I can’t give you kids. I can’t be a proper omega."

"Bloody buggering hell," Chuck growled, leaning down to press their foreheads together, his grip on Raleigh bordering on painful. "I don’t want a proper omega. I want you. I want Raleigh Becket, badass jaeger pilot who wears ugly ass sweaters. I don’t care that you’re sterile. I’ve seen your tags so it’s not like I didn’t know before. And I’ve never planned on having any sprogs of my own. Didn’t figure I’d live long enough, considering what we do. Tell you what though. We get through Pitfall and you still want ‘em, we can adopt a whole passel of ankle biters, yeah? Otherwise I don’t care. All I want is you as my mate and copilot. The rest can shove off."

Raleigh stared up at him, eyes searching, looking for anything to show that Chuck wasn’t completely sincere. The Ghost Drift wasn’t as strong as it had been earlier but he could still feel it humming with want and affection and complete sincerity. Chuck truly wanted him.

As scared as he was to let someone close to him again, Raleigh knew it wasn’t what Yancy would want for him. It wasn’t what Sasha and Aleksis would want. It was time to stop living in the past and embrace the future. However long or short it may be.

"Okay," he agreed.

"Okay?" Chuck repeated. 

"Okay," Raleigh said smiling, threading his fingers in Chuck’s hair. "Okay."

"It’s about time, you bastard," Chuck laughed, pressing in for a kiss. Raleigh immediately opened up to him, trying to take in as much of Chuck’s taste and scent as he could.

Too soon for Raleigh’s liking, Chuck pulled away, trailing wet, biting kisses along his jaw and down his neck. Chuck pressed his thumb to the underside of Raleigh’s jaw, tilting his head for better access to Raleigh’s neck and shoulder. It shouldn’t turn him on but it did, leaving him gripping Chuck’s shoulders, his hips thrusting to slide their cocks together. Chuck’s teeth digging into the flesh of his shoulder turned the flare of heat in his belly into a wildfire. The slickness between his legs increased with the burning need.

"If," Raleigh swallowed thickly, "if you don’t get your cock in me right now, I swear to God, Chuck, I’m gonna pin you down and ride you like a fucking jaeger."

Chuck gave a full body shudder at Raleigh’s hissed words. His eyes were bright with lust when he raised his head to meet Raleigh’s gaze, tongue darting out to wet dry lips. "Later, yeah? We’ll definitely do that later."

Raleigh surged up, taking Chuck’s lips in a sloppy bruising kiss. Without breaking their kiss, Chuck managed to rearrange them so he was kneeling between Raleigh’s eagerly spread legs, a pillow beneath his hips. The feel of Chuck’s fingers pushing into his slick passage, stretching him, preparing him, had Raleigh pressing his head back into the mattress, moaning.

He wrapped his leg high around Chuck’s waist, using it for leverage to thrust up onto those teasing fingers.

"Please," Raleigh gasped as they slid over his prostate and brushed over the bottom of his uteral opening. He felt his body opening in anticipation. "Please, Chuck."

He whined when those fingers were removed and he felt the head of Chuck’s cock brushing against him without entering.

"Please," he groaned, writhing.

"Look at me, Raleigh."

"Please?"

" _Look at me_ ," Chuck commanded.

Raleigh’s eyes snapped open, locking onto Chuck’s. The moment their eyes met, Chuck pushed into him, filling him in one steady stroke until the thick knot just above the base of Chuck’s cock pressed against Raleigh’s ass. Raleigh pushed back trying to take him all the way in but Chuck moved with him preventing it.

"Chuck!"

"Do you accept me as your bonded alpha, Raleigh Becket?" Chuck asked, his voice strained. The ritual words cleared some of the fog from Raleigh’s brain, allowing him to answer.

"Yes. I accept you, Charles Hansen, as my bonded alpha and give myself to you as your bonded omega."

As soon as the words were spoken, Chuck pushed in those last couple of inches knotting them together, his knot swelling even further to keep them joined, to keep Chuck from slipping out of Raleigh’s uteral passage.

"Mine," Chuck growled, breaking eye contact with Raleigh to sink his teeth into Raleigh’s shoulder, just breaking the skin.

"Mine," Raleigh answered, biting into Chuck’s shoulder as well.

Both cried out as the bond snapped into place, ten times stronger than the Ghost Drift but not the full-on memory sharing of a true Drift. Emotions roiled between them, battering like a storm, until they found the calm center and settled into the steady thrum of lust and need of Raleigh’s heat and the affection and admiration they felt towards each other. It wasn’t quite love; they didn’t know each other well enough yet. It was a strong foundation to build on, though.

Chuck began to move, short hard thrusts that swept everything away beneath waves of pleasure and passion. Raleigh gasped and moaned, legs wrapped tightly around Chuck’s waist, his fingernails digging into Chuck’s broad back as every thrust rubbed Chuck’s knot against his prostate.

Sparks flew through Raleigh with each thrust pushing him higher. His pleasure fed into Chuck pushing him to move harder, faster, sending his pleasure back into Raleigh in a never-ending loop.

Chuck suddenly shifted, his hips curling just so in a move that sent Raleigh spiraling over the edge His whole body contracted around Chuck as he shouted his name. Chuck quickly followed him over, filling him with his release as he sighed Raleigh’s name like a prayer.

They lay panting and clinging to each other for several minutes, basking in the pleasant haze of their orgasm. Eventually, Chuck rolled them over so Raleigh was on top. They both winced a little at the pull of Chuck’s knot against Raleigh’s opening.

"God, I hope we’re not stuck like this until you get me pregnant cause that’s going to be a problem," Raleigh grimaced, resting his chin on his hand on Chuck’s chest so he could look at him.

"Yeah nah, it’ll just be until your heat passes," Chuck replied tracing his fingers over Raleigh’s scars.

"You do know it can take up to three days for that right?"

"Er, okay, that could be a problem. I’m sure it’ll go down after a bit. Can’t see us being made this way only to die of dehydration or something. Wouldn’t make sense."

"Guess not. You ever knotted with anyone before?" Raleigh asked curious. The mild flash of indignation followed by embarrassment across the bond surprised him a little.

"Nah. The few times I was in a position to, it didn’t feel right. What about you? You let that bastard knot you?"

"We never did," Raleigh soothed. "I never relaxed enough for it and the one time he tried to force it, I damn near broke his dick because I was tensing so much. Yancy did break his nose a week later after he saw it in a simulated Drift. Me getting pregnant was a total fluke."

Raleigh shifted his head to rest his cheek on his hand, staring at the hand he had wrapped around Chuck’s bicep. "I wish sometimes that I hadn’t gotten pregnant. If I hadn’t lost the baby, I wouldn’t be sterile now. Which makes me feel like an ass. Blaming an innocent baby that never even got the chance to be born for my problems."

"Then don’t blame the baby," Chuck said, quirking an eyebrow when Raleigh lifted his head to look at him. "Baby’s not the one who got you pregnant in the first place. Fucker could’ve worn a condom. Unless you asked him not to?"

Raleigh laid his head back down, avoiding Chuck’s gaze. "He refused when I asked him to. I gave up asking after awhile."

"Dead man walking. I swear to God," Chuck growled. "Getting pregnant was not your fault. Losing the baby for damn sure wasn’t your fault. Put the blame where it belongs."

"Maybe," Raleigh said quietly. "I-I wonder sometimes too if it’d had any affect on what happened. If I would have been able to save Y-Yancy."

"Raleigh, no," Chuck wrapped his arms tightly around Raleigh, a flood of affection and reassurance filling the bond. "What happened to your brother was in no way your fault. The blame for that is squarely on the kaiju. Same for you miscarrying. I could kill all the people who told you it was your fault. I probably will punch the marshal next time I see him. Wasn’t for him, we would’ve met a whole lot sooner."

"Maybe. I was pretty screwed up back then. The marshal was just the last straw. I don’t know how much longer I would have stayed even if he hadn’t said what he had."

"Long enough for me to get there and woo you with my legendary charm."

"Legendary charm?" Raleigh laughed in disbelief, pushing himself up to look at Chuck. "Is this the same _charm_ you’ve been subjecting me to since I got here?"

"Nah, mate. That was just me being friendly," Chuck grinned at him.

"Really? Friendly?" Raleigh sat up fully, only to bite his lip as Chuck was pushed deeper into him. Need flared and rebounded along the bond making Raleigh moan, his head falling forward. "Chuck."

"I got you, Rals," Chuck murmured, bringing Raleigh’s hands to his chest. "Think I remember something about you riding me like a fucking jaeger, yeah?"

"Like this?" Raleigh leaned forward, lifting up as much as he could and thrusting back down driving Chuck’s knot into his prostate. Repeating the move, he let out a breathy gasp on each drop. "You feel so good."

"Yeah, that’s it." Chuck gripped Raleigh’s hips before sliding around to cup his ass, fingers flexing, providing more leverage. "That’s it. You’re bloody gorgeous riding my cock."

Raleigh’s eyes narrowed and shifted his right hand just enough to pinch Chuck’s nipple, making him hiss and buck up into Raleigh. Fire skittered across his nerve endings in waves of pleasure.

"Bastard," Chuck grunted. Raleigh laughed, adding a twist to his hips on his next thrust down. Chuck gasped, fingers tightening. Planting his feet, he met Raleigh’s next thrust with one of his own. Raleigh whimpered.

They quickly established a rhythm, moving against each other in counterpoint. Raleigh half-sobbed in need, eyes squeezed shut, driving himself closer to completion. He was so close yet it hovered just out of reach.

His eyes flew open when Chuck’s hand closed around his neglected cock. Two quick strokes and Raleigh cried out, his orgasm ripping through him. He fell forward onto Chuck, strong arms cradling him close as he continued driving into him.

Raleigh took everything he was feeling and shoved it through the bond into Chuck. That was all he needed. Chuck bucked up hard, burying himself as deep as he could in Raleigh, mouth open in a soundless shout.

Overwhelmed, Raleigh let the black at the edges of his vision overtake him again.


	11. Chapter 11

This time when he came to, Raleigh was clean again and being spooned by Chuck. The younger pilot was pressed tight against his back. One arm was beneath Raleigh’s head as a pillow, the other was wrapped tightly around his waist, hand resting over his heart. He could feel Chuck’s nose buried in his hair, soft, even breaths ghosting over the nape of his neck. The bond hummed with contentment.

Raleigh smiled, snuggling back into the embrace. It had been a long time since he felt so safe and relaxed. Not since the last time he’d crawled into Yancy’s bed for a cuddle. It was a feeling he never wanted to lose again.

He was starting to drowse when he felt the shift in the bond indicating Chuck had woken up. A soft kiss was pressed to the back of his neck then his shoulder then Chuck was moving, rising up on his elbow as he rolled Raleigh onto his back so they were looking at each other.

"Morning," Chuck said giving him a sleepy sweet smile.

"Morning," Raleigh murmured pulling Chuck down to him for a kiss. They kissed lazily, simply enjoying the press of lips and the contentment flowing between them.

After awhile, Chuck pulled away, his right hand coming up to cradle Raleigh’s face. His thumb brushed over Raleigh’s lower lip until Raleigh snagged his hand with his own, just holding it.

"Hey," Raleigh said, eyes searching. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just," Chuck shrugged. "I wanted this for so long and then Knifehead happened and you broke my heart. No, it’s okay," he soothed at Raleigh’s sound of distress. "I was a right tit. I get it now why you ran. I’d have probably done the same in your place. But for so long I didn’t understand. I didn’t _want_ to understand. You were my hero and you’d let me down. Which is a shit thing because, as Dad was fond of pointing out, you didn’t know me from a hole in the wall. You sure as hell didn’t owe me anything." He brushed his knuckles over Raleigh’s cheek.

"Then you came back and I was so angry and pushing you away and then getting angrier when you turned to everyone but me. I almost wrecked any chance I had with you. If it hadn’t been for the marshal and his ‘we’ll settle this in the kwoon, gentlemen,’ we wouldn’t have," Chuck paused staring, then suddenly laughed. "That sneaky bastard."

"Chuck?" Raleigh frowned at the sudden change. "What’d the marshal do?"

"He set us up."

"What?"

"The sneaky bastard set us up. He’s known how I felt about you since pretty much the beginning. He’s been friends with Herc since the start of the program, lovers for at least half that. I know they talk about shit like that, comparing stories ‘bout Mako and me. Mako’s known from when we’d hang out, being the only two kids in the Dome most of the time. Yancy was her favorite right after the marshal and Tamsin Sevier, a course."

"Of course," Raleigh repeated, baffled. "I still don’t get how you think he set us up. The marshal hates me."

"Yeah nah. He never would have brought you back if he did."

"Unless he had no choice. All the other Mark-3 pilots are dead."

"So? There are Mark-2 and Mark-4 pilots he could’ve put in Gipsy. Plus he said what he did then was wrong."

"Maybe but what he said after Mako and I nearly blew up LOCCENT..."

"Never said the man wasn’t a dick. It’s like you manage to push all his buttons at once without trying. I think setting us up in the kwoon and hoping we’d be Drift compatible was his odd way of trying to make things right with you. With us Drifting, it would really only be a matter of time before this happened."

"I... I think you’re reading too much into it," Raleigh said, finding it hard to believe Chuck’s theories for the marshal’s behavior.

Chuck sighed pressing a quick kiss to Raleigh’s lips. "I’ll convince you yet. Till then, are you hungry? I got food delivered earlier. You need to eat. You don’t weigh enough as it is. Not that you aren’t fucking gorgeous, ‘cause you are. Those abs, seriously, but still."

Raleigh quirked an eyebrow at Chuck’s rambling as he clambered over Raleigh to get out of the bed. He returned quickly with a cardboard box with enough sandwiches and finger foods, things that could easily keep for a while, to feed five people and two bottles of electrolyte water. Chuck stared at the bed with a frown, glanced at the table and chairs across the room then back. Finally, he put the box of food on the nightstand. "Shove over for a tick, yeah?"

Curious, Raleigh got completely out of bed, uncaring of his nudity. Thanks to the circuitry suits, pilots quickly got over any body shyness. Plus, it was nothing Chuck hadn’t seen at this point. He did enjoy the flash of lust from Chuck when he turned around with a blanket and spotted Raleigh lounging against the nightstand. Raleigh felt the low ache of his heat in his gut. Thankfully, it wasn’t a driving need just yet.

Chuck covered the bed with the blanket, gesturing for Raleigh to sit back down and followed suit. "Not much for crumbs in the bed but I reckon this’ll do for now."

"Works for me." Raleigh smiled, leaning over to peck him on the lips, then dug into the food. For the first time in what felt like forever, he had an actual appetite and the food was delicious. The company wasn’t half bad either. 

They’d demolished a third of the food when Chuck broke the silence.

"So your heat lasts three days?" he asked, swallowing a mouthful of crisps.

"Theoretically," Raleigh said with a shrug picking apart a meat pastry. "Not really sure."

"What d’you mean you’re not sure? You’re an omega. You’ve had heats before. Shouldn’t you know how long it’ll last?"

"This is the first time I’ve gone into heat in five _years_ , Chuck. It’s also the first time since I was fourteen that I haven’t been on inhibitors when I went into heat. I’ve never been bonded before and I’m fucking sterile. I have no fucking clue what kind of affect any of that’s going to have so, no, I don’t know how long it’s going to last," Raleigh snapped, tossing his food remnants back into the box. He started to get up but Chuck was faster, pushing aside the food to wrap himself around Raleigh, holding him tightly.

"M’sorry," he said into the back of Raleigh’s neck, placing several kisses there.

Raleigh remained tense at first, wanting to pull away, to be alone, but he didn’t want to hurt Chuck to do so. Little by little, he relaxed back into the embrace, accepting the comfort of the bond.

"I’m sorry," he sighed. "I shouldn’t have snapped at you."

"It was a stupid thing for me to ask."

"No, it wasn’t. It’d be a good thing to know," Raleigh said, leaning fully back into Chuck, tilting his head to rest it against the other man’s. "I’ve just never spent much time with other Omegas. As a little kid, I wanted to be just like my alpha big brother. There weren’t many Omegas in my school growing up, maybe a dozen total spread out over the various year grades. The ones closest to my age didn’t really share any of the same interests. It didn’t help that we traveled a lot with my father because of his job. Then Mom died and he left us and we were those poor Becket children that everyone pitied but couldn’t bother to help. After Jazmine died, I spent a lot of time getting into fights and Yancy spent his time helping me kick their asses. In the Academy, I was the only omega in the pilot program and it was only because of Yancy at first. I know a lot of the others resented me for being allowed in when they weren’t."

Lacing the fingers of his right hand with Chuck’s left, Raleigh rubbed his thumb along the arch of Chuck’s index finger a couple of times. "It’s funny. I didn’t really realize just how few friends I actually had until after Knifehead. I don’t know how much of it was Paul keeping me isolated and how much was simply being the only omega pilot. The only people who came to see me when I was in Medical were Tendo, a couple of Gipsy’s techs I was friendly with, and one of the cooks that I used to talk French literature with. The Gages came by once but just the sight of them sent me into a Ghost Drift. They’d send stuff through Tendo instead. That was it outside the nurses and doctors. Even Paul only came because Tendo made him."

"Not sure if I should thank Elvis for sticking by you or kick his ass for making that fucker see you."

Raleigh let out a watery chuckle. "He couldn’t have known what would happen. And I’m glad it happened there rather than somewhere with witnesses."

"Still," Chuck grumbled. Raleigh didn’t bother to argue. They sat in silence, enjoying each other’s presence until Raleigh began to shift restlessly, need rising.

*** * ***

Urging Raleigh to his feet, Chuck put away the food and stripped the blanket from the bed leaving just the sheets. He pushed him down onto his back, thrilling a little at how easily Raleigh obeyed him, and knelt between his legs. His eyes roamed over the other man enjoying the picture he presented, flushed and sweaty, lips parted just slightly, chest rising and falling with each panted breath, hands fisted in the sheets beneath him. The blond pilot looked like a debauched angel to Chuck, sin and temptation wrapped up in a sleekly muscled body. A thrill of possessiveness shot through him knowing this was _his_ mate.

Raleigh shifting reminded Chuck he was there to do more than just look. Stroking his hands up strong thighs to slim hips, he brushed both thumbs along the length of Raleigh’s erection, making him shiver and moan. Chuck smirked, wondering how many sounds he could pull from him.

Maintaining eye contact, he leaned down blowing a soft stream of air over sensitive flesh. Raleigh writhed beneath his hands.

"Oh God, Chuck, please."

"Please what?"

"Do something. Anything. I don’t care. Just please," Raleigh pleaded.

Draping one arm across Raleigh’s waist, Chuck slid his other hand down to push Raleigh’s legs further apart. "Hmm," he murmured contemplatively, "how about this?"

Without warning, he sucked the tip of Raleigh’s cock into his mouth while sliding two fingers into the slicked passage. Raleigh bucked beneath Chuck, nearly dislodging him, but he held on, working his fingers deeper as he swirled his tongue around the head of Raleigh’s cock, lapping up the little bit of fluid gathered there. 

Slowly, he took as much in as he could until the head bumped the back of his throat. Shifting so that he could look up at and hold Raleigh’s gaze, Chuck simultaneously swallowed and rubbed his fingers over Raleigh’s prostate. Raleigh practically shrieked, his back bowed off the bed, muscles rigid. Chuck stroked over the small bundle of nerves a couple more times as he moved up and down Raleigh’s cock, curling his tongue around it as best he could. He’d worry about his inexperience with giving blowjobs if the bond hadn’t been buzzing with fervent want and bliss.

Feeling Raleigh teetering on the edge, Chuck backed off, slipping his fingers out. He ignored Raleigh’s whines, placing a kiss on his inner thigh before urging him to roll over onto his stomach then to his hands and knees. Chuck smirked at the half-hearted protests, considering the speed at which Raleigh moved to get into position. He rewarded him with a kiss to the small of the back as he pushed three fingers into him. Raleigh moaned rocking into them, whining when Chuck avoided his prostate, spreading them out to stretch him.

"Chuck," Raleigh groaned. "Will you just fuck me."

"Just a tick. Want this to be just right," Chuck murmured even as he moved himself into position. He paused at the look Raleigh was giving him over his shoulder. "What?"

"You have some kind of mental checklist of positions, don’t you?" Raleigh grinned at him.

Chuck froze for a second because he did, in fact, have a list of positions he intended to fuck Raleigh in, and this was definitely one of them. Instead of answering, he pushed into Raleigh, burying himself to the knot in one steady stroke. He draped himself over Raleigh’s back, an arm around his waist to hold him still. His other fist was planted in the bed to hold some of his weight.

"And what if I do?" Chuck husked into Raleigh’s ear, enjoying the full body shiver it elicited from the blond.

"It’s good to have a plan," Raleigh managed, amusement, frustration and need rippling across the bond.

"Glad you agree," he said, withdrawing until just the head of his cock remained inside. "Because I have a lot of plans for us."

Slamming back into Raleigh, he grunted in satisfaction at Raleigh’s cry. Chuck began a hard rhythm, pounding into his mate but not so deep as to knot him. Raleigh writhed beneath him, desperately pushing back to meet each thrust, trying to take Chuck deeper. Chuck held out a little longer, denying them both that final connection.

"Please, please," Raleigh begged, his arms trembling as he strained to hold himself up. "Please, Chuck. Please. I need. Please."

"What do you need, Raleigh? You need my knot inside you? Filling you up? Is that what you want?"

"Yes! Fuck. Please," Raleigh sobbed.

On his next thrust, Chuck buried himself in Raleigh completely, holding on tightly as Raleigh’s arms finally gave out, dropping his face and chest to the bed. Chuck followed him down, chest pressed to Raleigh’s back, pounding into him in short, hard thrusts. He could feel Raleigh’s racing heartbeat, felt and heard his gasping breaths, unconsciously falling into sync with him. The bond pulsed between them as they hovered right at the edge.

Chuck closed his mouth over Raleigh’s bond mark and that was it. Raleigh’s entire body went rigid, muscles contracting tightly around Chuck’s cock, crying out as he came. Chuck managed one, two more thrust before he spent himself in Raleigh, letting out a choked off cry.

When he could breathe properly again, Chuck pressed his face into the crook of Raleigh’s neck briefly, then eased off him. They were both mildly surprised when Chuck’s cock slid free with no resistance this time. Chuck lay on his side facing Raleigh, an arm and a leg still slung over the other man holding him close.

He pressed his lips to the shoulder closest to him, keeping them there until Raleigh cracked open his eyes to look at him. Chuck smiled against his skin, pressing another kiss before shifting up so he could press a kiss to Raleigh’s lips.

Raleigh hummed happily, returning the kiss. Without losing contact, he managed to shift them so Chuck was laying on his back with Raleigh draped half across him. They kissed lazily, hands moving across sweat-slicked skin in soft caresses.

Eventually, Raleigh pulled away with a yawn that he tried to hide. Chuck snickered at Raleigh’s sheepish look.

"Get some sleep. I’ve got a few more positions I want to try that don’t include you passing out in the middle of them."

"Yeah, yeah," Raleigh grumbled even as he snuggled in closer. Chuck happily held him tighter, following him into sleep.

*** * ***

Tendo yawned as he flipped through the diagnostic report ,wishing he’d been able to get more than five hours of sleep but there was work to be done. Technically they’d gotten all the systems back up and running. Unfortunately, some were still experiencing glitches. While none of the systems with problems were critical, it was still annoying.

"Status update, Mr. Choi," Marshal Pentecost called as he strode into LOCCENT.

"Breach is silent for the moment, sir. A couple of non-essential systems are still acting funny but we’re working on them."

"How non-essential?"

"Uh, ocean water temperature sensors out by the Philippines and monitors on the Dome," Tendo paused as he reread that bit to himself with a frown, shaking his head when the words didn’t change. He looked up at Marshal Pentecost who had an eyebrow quirked. "Monitors on the Dome sewage outflow pipes, sir. And, no, I have no idea why that gets reported here instead of Security or Maintenance, sir."

"The repairs on Striker Eureka and Gipsy Danger?" Marshal Pentecost asked, moving to stand by the window.

"Technically done. We could scramble them now if necessary."

Pentecost looked back at him in question.

"The J-techs are working on shielding the electrical systems from another EMP blast. So, technically ready to go but more time would be useful. Plus with Chuck and Raleigh... More time would be useful."

He nodded turning towards the window again. "Time we may not have," Marshal Pentecost said quietly, almost to himself. "Contact Medical. Tell them to prepare the cocktail we discussed and tell Dr. Ting her protests are duly noted but we may not have a choice."

"Sir?" Tendo frowned even as he was reaching for the phone.

"She’ll know what I’m talking about. It’s merely a precaution I hope we will not need."

"Yes, sir," he sighed, still confused, but aware he wasn’t going to get a straight answer. Nor would he get one from Medical so he didn’t bother asking as he relayed the message. Dr. Ting did in fact protest, calling Marshal Pentecost a few choice things in Cantonese that had Tendo wincing and glad the call wasn’t on speaker. Judging by the amused look on the marshal’s face, he had an idea of what was being said.

Herc wandered in, Max on his heels, just as Tendo hung up the phone, looking even more rumpled than usual. He made his way over to stand next to Marshal Pentecost, slouching against the window. Neither spoke.

Tendo watched them covertly as he worked. They’d always been a study in opposites to him. Marshal Pentecost had always been stiff and proper, a military man through and through but carried off with such poise you couldn’t help straightening your own spine in respect while trying to live up to his expectations, spoken or not. Even now when they were technically no longer a military installation, Marshal Pentecost’s tailored suits were worn with the neatness and precision of a uniform.

Herc, on the other hand, for all he’d spent his entire adult life in the military, had always looked distinctly uncomfortable in his uniform, like he’d never been able to figure out just how he’d ended up so high in the command structure. Since they’d become the Resistance, Herc had happily eschewed anything resembling a uniform in favor of henley shirts, vest, jeans, and consistently sported two days of stubble.

Watching their friendship develop over the years into the close relationship they had now, Tendo had often wondered why they’d never bonded. It wasn’t because of Herc’s status as a widowed bondmate. While not expected of them, widowed bondmates were never discouraged from finding a new one. He could only assume it was because of the long periods of time they’d frequently had to spend apart and not wanting to interfere in Herc and Chuck’s ability to Drift. He wondered if, now that Chuck and Raleigh were copilots and likely bonded, Herc and Marshal Pentecost would bond.

The shrill sound of the Breach alarm broke Tendo from his musings. Sliding over, he wasn’t surprised when the computer announced a double event. He did frown at the other readings he was getting, fine-tuning the sensors to double-check what he was seeing.

"What have you got?" Marshal Pentecost demanded.

"Two Category IV’s have come out of the Breach, sir," he replied, bringing up the readings.

"Where are they heading?"

"That’s just it, sir. They’re not going anywhere. They’re circling the Breach, which isn’t closing over. It’s... It’s like they’re guarding it, sir." Tendo stared up at the two men standing behind him. It was unusual behavior for the kaiju and nothing good ever happened when they changed their behavior.

"I want Striker Eureka and Gipsy Danger prepped for launch. Find Becket and Hansen. If Becket’s still in heat, contact Medical. They know what to do."

Tendo’s eyes darted to Herc and the pained look on his face. He sucked in a sharp breath as everything suddenly clicked into place. They were going to try and stop Raleigh’s heat. "Sir, that could..."

"We don’t have a choice, Mr. Choi," Marshal Pentecost barked and Herc winced. “Putting an omega in full heat in a jaeger will definitely kill them. If we’re lucky his status will have shortened his heat considerably. Either way, we need them in Gipsy Danger."

"Yes, sir," Tendo swallowed. "What about Striker? Who’s going to pilot with Mako?"

"That’s been taken care of. Get everyone ready, Mr. Choi. I want them in the jaeger bays in two hours," he ordered, then strode from LOCCENT, Herc hot on his heels. Tendo hadn’t missed the sharp look Herc had given Marshal Pentecost, but didn’t have time to wonder about it as he activated the kaiju alarm in Raleigh’s quarters and picked up the phone, praying they answered.


	12. Chapter 12

Raleigh sighed contentedly, tracing lazy patterns on the arm Chuck had wrapped around his waist with his fingertips. Chuck pressed soft kisses to the back of his neck and shoulders, his hand stroking Raleigh’s cock. He kept his strokes in time with his thrusts, cock sliding smoothly between the blond’s thighs. Sore, Raleigh had winced when Chuck moved to enter him so they’d settled on this position. Neither really seemed mind, enjoying the slow pace and contact.

They’d both been hovering on the cusp of orgasm for a while, backing down when they got too close, reveling in the ache of delayed gratification. Raleigh didn’t think it would be much longer. He could already feel his balls drawing up, the tingling in his stomach telling him he was close. The same feelings echoed across the bond from Chuck even as he began to pick up his pace, his breathes skittering across Raleigh’s skin in short gasps.

"That’s it," Raleigh moaned, sliding his hand back to grasp at Chuck’s ass, muscles flexing beneath his fingers. "Almost. Almost there. C’mon."

"I’m the, ugh, tighter, the one doing all the work," Chuck muttered even as he moved faster. "Lazy bludger."

Raleigh’s laugh dissolved into a moan at a particularly hard stroke. "Bastard."

"I’m Australian, mate. We’re all bastards."

The sudden wail of the kaiju alarm had them both stiffening in surprise, muscles reflexively tightening. It sent them both over the edge.

Despite the desire to lie there, they were both moving as soon as they could, almost tripping over each other in their haste to get out of bed.

"Bloody kaiju," Chuck muttered, steadying Raleigh when he accidentally hip-checked him as they both reached to mute the alarm.

"At least we were just about done," Raleigh chuckled, grabbing Chuck by the hips to bring him in for a kiss. "They could’ve had far worse timing."

"No such thing as good timing with a kaiju." He stole a kiss then backed off, looking around the room. "We need to get dressed. Where’re my bloody clothes?"

"Back in your room since we came straight here in our drive suits. You can borrow some of mine." Raleigh grimaced, looking down at himself. "I’m showering first. I’m not getting into a drive suit while covered in come."

Leering, Chuck opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by the phone. Instead, he heaved a sigh, stealing another kiss on his way to answer it. "Go on. I’ll join you in a minute to wash your back."

Raleigh smirked, adding a little extra swing to his hips on his way to the bathroom.

"What?" Chuck barked into the phone, eyes glued to the half-closed bathroom door.

"Oh thank God," Tendo’s relieved voice came through the line. "At least one of you is conscious."

"We’re both bloody conscious, Elvis. Hard not to be with the kaiju alarm going off. What do you want? We’re trying to get ready."

"Will Raleigh be able to pilot? I have orders to send Medical down if he’s still in heat."

"No! No bloody way is anyone giving my mate heat suppressants," Chuck snarled.

"I know," Tendo soothed. "I don’t want to but we can’t put him in a jaeger while in heat. If he’s not in heat, everything’s good. Can you just check with him please? I don’t want to have to send Medical. Please?"

Still growling, Chuck pulled the phone away from his ear. "Oi, Raleigh! Elvis needs to know if you’re still in heat?"

Raleigh stuck his head out the door to look at him, a ‘what the hell’ look on his face. Chuck waggled the phone at him. 

Rolling his eyes, Raleigh took mental stock of his body and was surprised to find that the burning need he’d been feeling was gone. There was just the content hum of the bond underscored by Chuck’s irritation. He shook his head. "I’m fine. I think it’s passed completely, which is the shortest it’s ever been even on inhibitors but I guess being," Raleigh stopped, pressing his lips together. He took a deep breath through his nose. "I’m fine. Good to go."

He disappeared back into the bathroom, this time closing the door completely behind him. Chuck barely resisted the urge to throw the phone across the room.

"You catch that?" he snapped into the receiver.

"Yeah, I’m sorry, Chuck. I..."

"Whatever. How long before we need to be suited up?" 

"The sooner the better. The marshal wants you down in the jaeger bay in less than two hours."

"Good." He hung up before Tendo could say anything else, going to join Raleigh in the shower. ~~~~

The blond was already standing beneath the warm spray, head bowed, hands curled into fists against the wall holding him up. Chuck watched him a moment. If Raleigh had been angry, if he’d been railing against the injustices of the world they lived in, Chuck could have dealt with that. He knew how to handle those emotions. He could even understand the frustration he felt from him. The resignation, sadness and bone-deep weariness he didn’t know what to do with.

Raleigh turned his head just enough so he could open one eye to look over his shoulder at Chuck. He didn’t do anything else, leaving it up to Chuck to make a decision.

Grabbing a washcloth, he stepped into the shower behind him. He shoved the cloth under the spray to wet it then lathered it up with soap. Neither spoke, Raleigh continuing to watch Chuck out of the corner of his eye. Chuck pressed a kiss between Raleigh’s shoulder blades, inhaling their mingled scents. With the bond in place and their first rut complete, Chuck’s scent would always underscore Raleigh’s now and vice versa. It reassured a primal part of him and he began gently cleaning his mate.

Raleigh let him move him around as he wanted, muscles slowly relaxing beneath the long swipes of the cloth. Chuck rinsed and relathered the cloth as necessary, paying special attention to Raleigh’s ass and between his legs, continuing until he was completely clean. When he was finished, Raleigh took the cloth from him.

Before Raleigh could start, Chuck slid his hands into Raleigh’s hair and pulled him in for a loving kiss. Raleigh leaned into him briefly then shifted back so he could begin cleaning Chuck with the same tender motions.

Both clean, they dried off in continued silence. Raleigh dug out clothes for both of them, smirking when Chuck frowned at the slightly off fit.

"You look good in my clothes," he teased.

"Shove off, _Ra_ leigh," Chuck grumbled, failing to hide his own smile. At the door, Chuck found himself pushed up against the wall as Raleigh pressed into him for a devouring kiss. Chuck wrapped both arms around Raleigh, sliding his hands beneath the blue sweater to dig into the flesh of his back. Raleigh had one hand on the wall by Chuck’s head, the other gripped tightly at his hip.

Neither wanted to let go, far too aware that they were running out of time.

"We need to get going," Raleigh whispered into the space between kisses.

"Yeah," Chuck agreed, pulling Raleigh tighter to him.

"Everybody will be waiting," Raleigh nosed along Chuck’s jawline.

"Yeah," Chuck agreed, loosing one hand to fumble at and open the door beside them. Raleigh sighed, pressing one last kiss to Chuck’s lips then reluctantly slid out the door. Chuck followed.

*** * ***

Herc paced Stacker to his quarters, keeping his eyes focused straight ahead and his jaw clenched. He didn’t dare speak before they reached their destination. They were both private men and this wasn’t a conversation for public consumption.

The moment the door closed behind them though, Herc rounded on Stacker. “You’re going to pilot Striker with Mako, aren’t you?" Herc demanded, feeling like someone had shoved a knife in his gut and twisted. Bad enough he was going to have to say goodbye to his son and his new bondmate. To Mako. But this too? "Stacker, you can’t."

Stacker stood tall before him, eyes roaming over his face. Whether looking for the answer to an unasked question or simply memorizing features already memorized, Herc didn’t know and didn’t care. He fisted his good hand in the lapel of Stacker’s suit, hoping it wrinkled the pressed fabric, and begged, “Don’t do this. Please."

He looked down when Stacker’s hand slid over his and simply held it. The chest beneath his fist rose and fell with one deep breath and then another. Stacker’s voice was soft and low when he spoke, reminding Herc of stolen moments and lazy mornings when there was time. "We knew this day was coming. There was always only one way for our time together to end."

"Not like this though," he forced out through clenched teeth, because he _had_ always known there was an expiration date on their relationship. Between his status as an active duty jaeger pilot and Stacker’s cancer, they were never going to get the chance to grow old and completely grey together. It didn’t make it easier. "I can’t lose all of you. Don’t leave me alone like this."

Sighing, Stacker drew Herc to him with his free arm, holding him tightly. Herc easily slotted his face into the curve of Stacker’s neck, inhaling the familiar scent with a ragged breath.

"There are many things I would change if I could but I cannot regret the things that brought us together even though they will tear us apart now," Stacker said, pressing his cheek to the crown of Herc’s head. "I won’t make promises. We both know there are no guarantees. If I can save them, I will. Otherwise this is my choice. Let me let my death have meaning."

Herc pressed even closer then stepped back out of his embrace, blinking to stem the tears threatening to fall. His lips twisted into a rueful half-smile. "Doesn’t get much more meaningful than saving the world."

"No, it doesn’t," Stacker agreed.

"Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing," Herc grumbled.

"And what’s that?"

"You’re sticking me with all the paperwork and those snotty suits and ties. You know how I feel about politicians, Stacker," Herc glared half-heartedly.

Stacker barked out a laugh. Hercules Hansen had never been shy about expressing his opinion of politicians. "That I do, love," he agreed pressing a kiss to Herc’s lips. Herc responded hungrily, opening up to him as they put all the things they’d never say out loud into the kiss.

_I love you. I’ll miss you. Be strong. I’ll be waiting_

Pulling away, Stacker brushed his thumb over Herc’s bottom lip. "Help me suit up one last time?"

"Course. Can’t believe you still have that old thing."

"I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of it. It was a reminder."

Herc nodded in understanding. He’d probably have done the same thing. "Right then. Let’s get you suited."

*** * ***

Mako stood just inside the doors to Scramble Alley watching the crews prepping Gipsy and Striker for launch while waiting for Chuck and Raleigh. She desperately wanted to pace, the uncertainty of not knowing who would pilot Striker with her weighing on her mind. She was her father’s daughter though, and would not let the techs see her looking anything other than confident.

Her resolve crumbled the moment she caught sight of the two men. Raleigh appeared calm and collected, almost at odds with the happiness that radiated from him. Chuck was understandably smug while appearing more centered and sure of himself than she’d ever seen him. There was a strength about them both that she desperately needed for herself right then.

"I do not know who is to be my copilot," she said the moment they were close enough. "I have not tested for compatibility with anyone other than Raleigh and your father and there are no other experienced pilots here."

"Hey, easy," Raleigh said, his voice a soothing balm as he gripped her shoulders. "The marshal has to have a plan. We all know you’re the last person he would risk. I’m sure whoever it is will be great."

This irritated Mako more than it reassured her. She was an adult alpha. She was fully capable of being a pilot and did not need to be protected, not when she was prepared to sacrifice herself to save the rest of the world just as they were.

"What?" he asked when she frowned at him.

"Oi, Tendo!" They both started at Chuck’s shout. She spotted the Chief LOCCENT officer on the far side of the bay talking to a tech. He nodded to the tech and began making his way towards them. They met him halfway.

"What’s up?" Tendo asked, looking between the three of them.

"Who’s going to pilot with Mori here?” Chuck demanded. “She can’t pilot Striker on her own.”

"I know but I don’t know who it’s going to be." Mako slumped at Tendo’s helpless shrug. "The marshal hasn’t told... Oh boy."

Mako turned to follow Tendo’s surprised gaze, flanked by Chuck and Raleigh. Her heart lodged itself in her throat, mouth falling open at the sight of Sensei walking towards her in a full drive suit, Herc trailing unhappily behind him.

"Bit tighter than I remember," Sensei said, grimacing. 

Mako’s mouth snapped shut. A mix of anger, fear, dread, and pride churned in her stomach. She followed when he moved to walk by. “Getting into a jaeger will kill you," she told him as if he somehow wasn’t aware; as if she could change his mind with that simple reminder. She knew it was a false hope but clung to it anyway.

Sensei sighed, hands gently grasping her upper arms. A small part of her mind idly wondered why people thought such gestures were comforting.

"Not getting into one would kill us all," he said quietly. 

Mako bowed her head, shamed. He was right. How could she not allow him to make the same choice she demanded for herself?

"You are a brave girl," he told her, lifting her chin so she looked at him. His words warmed her. She had always tried to meet and exceed his expectation of her. "I am so lucky to have seen you grow. But if I am going to do this I need you to help me. Can you do that?"

Lips pressed tightly together, she nodded fiercely. She would not fail him in this. When he straightened his shoulders and stood tall, she immediately, unthinkingly, copied him. She was to be his copilot and she would stand united with him. His gaze lingered a moment longer on her before drifting around the room. 

"Listen up, everyone!"

As he stepped away she felt Raleigh and Chuck move to flank her once more. She slipped her hands into theirs, smiling when neither pulled away. Mako had lost her first family to the kaiju and many others since then. It was her turn now to stand in defense of her family; to avenge those who had gone before. She would not fail them now.

*** * ***

The marshal’s speech over the crews worked with renewed vigor. Raleigh stood beside Chuck only half-listening as he gave last minute advice to Mako on the particular quirks of piloting Striker. His gaze was fixed on the empty bay where Cherno Alpha had stood. Memories of sitting in the jaeger’s shadow, of Sasha declaring him family, Aleksis’ booming laugh threatened to overwhelm him. He’d only know them a few short days. Losing them shouldn’t hurt so much.

"Raleigh," Chuck’s voice brought him back to the here and now. He glanced at his bondmate then back at the empty bay.

"Do svidanya," he murmured, turning away.

The three of them walked in silence until they had to separate to go to their respective jaegers.

"Good luck," he whispered in Mako’s ear, folding her into a tight hug.

"You as well," she smiled up at him then hugged Chuck. Stepping back, she bowed. Raleigh returned the gesture, Chuck following suit a heartbeat behind. They watched her walk away before turning towards Gipsy.

Herc was waiting for them in the hallway outside Gipsy’s staging room, Max sitting at his feet. His eyes were red-rimmed and face haggard as he watched their approach. Raleigh thought he’d aged ten years in the ten minutes it had taken them to get up here from Scramble Alley.

Raleigh hung back a little, wanting to give them some privacy to say goodbye.

"Hey now," Herc said, voice rough with emotion as he looked at his son. "When you Drift with someone you feel like there’s nothing to talk about."

Raleigh thought of silent conversations he’d had with Yancy, of things expressed in a single gesture or glance, of so many things left unsaid because they had the Drift. Things he wished he’d said now or at least acknowledged.

"I just," Herc swallowed thickly, "I don’t want to regret all the things that I never said out loud."

"Don’t," Chuck stopped him. Raleigh’s gaze snapped to him in surprise. Why was he stopping him? Then Raleigh felt it. Beneath the roiling surface emotions of grief, embarrassment, determination, and old pain was a deep well of pure love. Chuck’s relationship with his father was a strained, complicated thing but through it all was the abiding love of a son for his father.

"You don’t need to," he said, eyes rimmed with tears he refused to let fall. "I know them all. I always have." 

Herc nodded, looking down at Max’s bark. Raleigh’s heart ached for these two men who clearly loved each other but couldn’t bring themselves to say the words. Even now when it was almost certain they wouldn’t be coming back.

"Hey, handsome," Chuck cooed, dropping to his knee, hands automatically scratching Max’s neck. "Oh, I’m gonna miss you." He placed a kiss on the top of Max’s head, pulled back to close a hand over his snout, shaking it playfully, before getting back to his feet.

"You look after him for me."

Herc nodded jerkily, his gaze shifting to meet Raleigh’s eyes. "Raleigh."

Raleigh stepped up next to Chuck, their shoulders brushing and pressing against each other.

"Sir," he said respectfully.

"None a’ that now," Herc smiled wanly. "It’s not the best timing but welcome to the family. Boy’s been waiting on you awhile."

"Dad," Chuck whined as Raleigh ducked his head, lips curling in a small smile. 

He twined his pinky with Chuck’s before looking back up at Herc. "I know. Sorry about that, sir. I’m here now though. Right where I belong."

Herc nodded jerkily, the muscles in his jaw working as if he wanted to speak but couldn’t force the words. A J-tech clearing their throat by the conn-pod door had then all jumping a little. Herc smiled tightly at them and stepped aside to let them pass. They were almost to the door when Herc called out causing them to look back.

"You boys look after each other, you hear? We’ll be waiting on ya, Max and I."

Max barked in agreement.

Raleigh waited silently as Chuck stared at his father, waiting for him to make a decision. Finally, Chuck nodded and stepped into the conn-pod. Raleigh nodded as well and followed him in.

He said nothing about the tears streaking down Chuck’s face, knowing he wouldn’t be thanked for acknowledging such weakness. Instead he waited until the conn-pod door was shut before gripping Chuck’s chest plate and pulling him into a tight hug.

Chuck clutched at him, face buried in the crook of Raleigh’s neck, hot tears soaking into his skin.

Raleigh filled the bond with as much love as he could. He’d thought it was too soon to know if he loved the cocky, arrogant man-child in his arms; that he didn’t know him well enough for such emotion. In this moment, he knew all he needed to know to understand he loved him. There was still a lot to learn about each other but for now it was enough.

Beneath the sheen of grief, Raleigh could feel Chuck returning that love.

Far too soon for either of them they were stepping away, locking themselves into their respective harnesses. When they were ready, they lifted their hands together to activate the comms.

"Gipsy Danger ready for drop," they said as one. When the conn-pod dropped, they linked hands, ready to step into the Drift.


	13. Chapter 13

Herc strode into LOCCENT, mentally stuffing all the emotions he didn’t have time to deal with into a little box. Max trotted along next to him, completely oblivious to what was happening. There were times Herc wished he could be like that.

"Looking good, Striker," Tendo said into the comms. "Neural handshake is holding steady. Drift is strong." He switched the displays. "Your turn, Gipsy. Initiating neural handshake in fifteen, fourteen, thirteen…"

Herc moved closer to the display representing Gipsy’s neural bridge. Based on how strong their last Drift had been, he wasn’t expecting any problems, but this was his son. Herc might be shit at expressing his concerns, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have them.

"…three, two. Initiating handshake," Tendo announced. Everyone in the room tensed as the display flared indicating the beginning stages of the Drift. After a few seconds, it settled into a steady and stable Drift.

"And you are good to go, Gipsy," Tendo said with a smile. "Proceed to launch pad for airlift to the Breach. Estimated flight time is four hours so sit back, relax, and talk amongst yourselves. LOCCENT out."

Striker and Gipsy radioed their acknowledgement and things fell silent. Herc watched Tendo take readings from both neural bridge monitors, making careful notations.

"Well?" he asked when he couldn’t take the silence any longer. Tendo looked up then back at the displays. He pointed to Striker’s first.

"The marshal and Miss Mori are doing good at 9.63% variance. They wobbled for a moment in the beginning like they were dropping out of alignment but quickly got it settled. They stabilized at 9.71%. By the time they get to the Breach, they’ll probably be at 9%, give or take a few thousands of a percent, and remain there for the run."

Herc nodded. He knew how tightly controlled Stacker kept his mind, how easily he prevented his own thoughts and emotions from slipping into the Drift allowing him to be almost universally Drift compatible. The problem was you couldn’t do that when Drifting with your own child. The child perceived that kind of silence from a parent as rejection. At least that’s how Chuck had taken it and their Drift had almost failed completely before Herc had accepted that he had to let Chuck in, he had to let the Drift say all the things he couldn’t say out loud. Good to know Stacker had learned from his mistake.

"And Gipsy? What kind of affect is their Bond having on the Drift?"

"A really good one," Tendo admitted, leaning back in his chair. "I don’t know what’s going to happen once this is all over but we seriously need to have them Drift more, take readings. We’ll need to bring in other alpha/omega bonded pairs as well. Test them to see if Chuck and Raleigh are the exception or the rule. Because if they are the rule then not allowing omegas into the pilot program will have been the worst decision anyone’s ever made. I mean..."

"What the hell are you blathering about?" Herc snapped, frustrated.

"This," Tendo tapped the display. "Point eight percent brain wave variance. It’s almost 100% synchronicity. We’ve had bonded pilots before, the Kaidonovskys for example, but never an alpha/omega pair. Which is ironic considering it was the alpha/omega pair bond that Dr. Lightcap used as the basis for developing the pons technology."

"Yeah, and? Everyone who’s gone through the academy knows that." Herc rubbed a tired hand over his face, wishing Tendo would get to the point.

"Everyone always says the deeper the bond, the deeper the Drift between pilots, the better they fight, right? It’s why bonded couples and siblings usually have the best Drift compatibility. But they’ve always been alphas or betas. Raleigh was the first and only omega pilot. He and Yancy had a BWV to rival the Wei Tangs. Now he and Chuck are so tightly connected they might as well be one person. They took out two Category IV kaiju by themselves." Tendo was getting worked up now, hands waving as he pointed at various readouts. 

"Like I said, if they’re the rule, if other alpha/omega bonded pairs Drifted with the same results, we might not have lost so many jaegers. No disrespect to any of the pilots; I knew most of them and they were all great fighters. But the idea that prejudice is the reason we’ve been losing this war rather than winning?" Tendo huffed angrily.

Herc closed his eyes. He heard what Tendo was saying, would even admit he’d never agreed with the unspoken policies at the academy that kept omegas out of the pilot program completely. Right now though, he was more worried about the mission and the fact that his entire family was on a suicide run without him. Opening his eyes to Tendo watching him with blatant concern made Herc want to snap. Instead, he shook his head. "Can’t change the past and playing what might have been will get you nowhere. Take your readings, write up a proposal for later, but keep your attention on the mission. This fails and we’re all fucked, hear me?"

Tendo looked indignant for a moment before shifting back to concerned. He nodded sharply. "Yes, sir," then more hesitantly, "Why don’t you get some rest? Or take Max for a walk? I’ll call you when they’re an hour out from the Breach."

Herc shook his head. "Call when they’re ninety minutes out. C’mon, Max."

He strode out of the room without waiting for an answer. Tendo wouldn’t take it personally. Herc ended up wandering a bit, ignoring the sidelong glances and outright looks of sympathy from the people he passed. Eventually, he found himself standing in front of Stacker’s door. He let himself in and toed off his boots. As usual, the room was pristine, as if Stacker had just stepped out and would be back any minute.

Max woofed quietly, drawing Herc’s attention before trotting over to the bed Stacker kept in the corner for him. Herc could almost pretend this was any other night with Stacker working late and Herc waiting for him. He wanted it to be that simple but couldn’t delude himself enough to believe it. Instead he dropped onto the bed and pulled Stacker’s pillow to his face, inhaling deeply. The smell of his lover filled his nostrils, battering at his resolve not to break down. Herc knew better than to give in to that urge; knew that if he started, he wouldn’t stop. His family was out there and they needed him to be strong right now. When it was all over and their losses counted, he would give in. For now, Herc closed his eyes and imagined a world in which the mission was a success and all of his family was back in the Shatterdome safe and sound. 

*** * ***

The thing about Drifting was that you couldn’t just let yourself drift. Doing that tended to lead to chasing RABITs, unless you were really good at meditating while still being aware of your surroundings. Luckily for most pilots when being deployed, it was for an imminent attack and they were on high alert or actively engaged in battle, so there was little time for boredom to sink in. A six-hour flight with minimal biofeedback from their jaeger, even if there were two Category IV kaiju waiting for them, was plenty of time for Chuck and Raleigh to get bored.

::Remind me to tell Tendo that the in flight movie sucks,::Raleigh said after they’d checked all the instrument readings for the tenth time.

::At least you’ve been on flights with movies,:: Chuck grumbled good-naturedly. ::I’ve only ever been on military transports or in Striker. In flight entertainment was taking a nap or whining at Dad.::

Raleigh laughed. ::I bet he loved that.::

A quick slideshow of Herc looked exasperated in military planes flashed through the Drift, overlaid with a sense of amusement and smug satisfaction.

::What did you and Yancy... Crap. Sorry.::

::Don’t be,:: Raleigh assured him, bittersweet sadness filling him. ::I can’t avoid talking about him forever. We’d talk about stupid reporters and interviews we’d had to put up with for the PPDC recently; celebration plans for after the battle. Sometimes we’d talk about what we’d do when the war was over and our plans for the future.::

::What kind of plans?::

::I never really had any,:: he said wryly. ::I never really thought about the future before now. I never did have good timing.::

Understanding flowed between them. They wanted to believe they were coming back from this; that it wasn’t a one-way trip to a watery grave. They both knew thinking like that would lose them the battle before it began. It didn’t make it any easier.

::Let’s think about it now then,:: Chuck decided. ::What do you want to do once we’ve knocked these bastards back to hell?::

A barrage of images Chuck didn’t catch more than brief glimpses of flashed by. Most of them appeared to involve Raleigh or Yancy as kids.

::Travel. I’d like to travel some. Show you the places Yance and I went when we were kids. Places with good memories. Visit some places we never got to or were only there for a PPDC press tour. Then maybe settle down somewhere. Adopt that ‘passel of ankle biters’ you mentioned. Maybe find Max a girlfriend.::

::Oi! You trying to domesticate me, _Ra_ leigh?:: Chuck mock-glared.

::Maybe?:: Raleigh grinned at him. ::What about you? You said you had plans for your life right before we got in that fight.::

The embarrassment coming from Chuck instantly had Raleigh curious. ::What was it?::

::It was nothing. Not important now.::

::Why not? Whatever it was, I won’t make fun of you. I promise.::

Chuck heaved a sigh. ::It’s not important because I already got what I wanted.::

Realization dawning, Raleigh smiled at him. Chuck’s glare was completely undermined by the love filling the bond. Raleigh chose not to call him on it. Instead he asked, ::What do you think Mako and the marshal are talking about?::

::You mean after they finish stoically gushing about how much they love and respect each other?::

Raleigh snickered. He could easily picture that conversation and the intense bowing that would occur if they weren’t strapped into a jaeger. ::So?::

::Strategy,:: they thought together, mirth filling the Bond.

"Gentlemen," Marshal Pentecost’s voice came over the comms. "Since we have the time, we thought it best to discuss possible strategies.

Chuck and Raleigh burst out laughing.

*** * ***

"Striker Eureka and Gipsy Danger, this is LOCCENT. You have just passed the two-mile mark to the Breach. Prepare to drop in fifteen.

"Striker Eureka is ready."

"Gipsy Danger ready for the drop."

"Go in fifteen, fourteen…" Tendo counted down to one.

The clamps holding the jaegers to their escort choppers released. Momentum continued to carry them forward as they dropped into the water, braced for impact. The moment they were steady, readouts were checked and submergence procedures initiated.

"Striker Eureka ready to submerge."

"Gipsy Danger ready to submerge."

"The kaiju are still circling the Breach. Good luck, Rangers," Herc’s gruff voice sounded over the comms.

Raleigh sent reassurance through their bond when Chuck faltered in a wave of grief and half-formed regrets. Raleigh wanted a future with Chuck and he was determined they were going to get it.

Then they were submerged and the world around them went dark. Try as they might they couldn’t see more than ten feet in front of them, even with their high-powered lights.

"Gipsy switching to instruments. It’s pitch black down here. Can you see anything, Striker?"

"No. Striker switching to instruments. We’re 100 meters from the ledge then another 1500 meters to the Breach. Prepare yourselves, gentlemen."

"Yes, sir."

Moments later, they reached the edge of the underwater cliff and stepped off, knees bent to absorb the shock as they landed. Still in one piece, they strode forward.

"Head up, Gipsy!" Tendo shouted. "Raiju is coming up on your one o’clock. Fastest kaiju ever on record."

"Where?" they demanded, twisting to look. "We can’t see anything in this. Instruments are clear."

"He’s coming right for you!"

"Shit," they muttered as the kaiju suddenly popped up on their instruments. It was far too close for comfort. Bracing themselves, they settled into a fighting stance, left chain sword at the ready. Raleigh would’ve preferred using the plasmacasters but they didn’t work very well underwater.

Raiju hit them like a freight train, tearing into their right arm. They shouted beneath the onslaught of biofeedback. A swift punch with their right fist dislodged the kaiju. It came back at them trying for the right arm again. This time they managed a deep slice along its chest. They barely had time to recover from that when Scunner barreled into them from behind, finally managing to take off their right arm at the elbow. 

They screamed at the pain lancing through Raleigh. Right hemisphere controls flickered briefly before stabilizing with diminished capabilities.

"Hold on, Gipsy. We’re coming," Marshal Pentecost called.

"Don’t you dare, sir," they snapped, grunting as they punched Raiju in his pointy snout. "You’re almost to the Breach. Raiju and Scunner are concentrating on us. You get a shot, you take it. You end this!"

Striker reluctantly turned from them, heading as fast as they could to the Breach. They were almost there when it flared.

"The Breach is opening! Third kaiju signature rising! I repeat, third kaiju signature rising!" Tendo informed them, voice rising.

"What category?!" Marshal Pentecost demanded.

"Cat-category V. Biggest kaiju ever."

The information was unnecessary as Marshal Pentecost and Mako watched it rise and rise out of the Breach. There was no way to brace themselves by the time they noticed the spinning tails. They smacked into Striker’s chest throwing them back several meters into a rock tower.

Chuck and Raleigh snarled, unable to disengage from Raiju or Scunner to help them.

Scunner came at them again. In a surprise move, they smashed it in the face with their disabled arm allowing them to blindside it with their left chain sword through its shoulder. Pinning it, they dragged it to a nearby magma vent. With feral grins, they watched it begin to burn.

"Gipsy! Behind you!"

They turned just in time to present Raiju with their right side, losing the last of that arm. It dislodged their sword enough for Scunner to escape.

Gipsy braced for an attack from Scunner but a bellowing screech from Slattern had the bull-like kaiju joining it.

"Scunner’s headed your way, Striker," they warned, searching for Raiju. "LOCCENT, do you have eyes on Raiju?"

"On your nine o’clock. Two hundred meters and closing fast," Tendo relayed.

Setting their legs, Chuck and Raleigh kept their vulnerable side towards the oncoming kaiju. Like a game of chicken, they waited until the last possible minute to shift, bringing up the left chain sword, locking their arm like a spear. Raiju impaled itself on the sword, momentum carrying it forward. Shifting Gipsy’s arm, Chuck and Raleigh neatly bisected the kaiju.

Self-satisfaction filled them as they turned to help Striker. The babbling voices of Drs. Geiszler and Gottlieb on the comms turned that satisfaction to dread. There was no way through the Breach without a kaiju _and_ the kaiju most likely knew the plan since Drs. Geiszler and Gottlieb both knew it. They were fairly well fucked.

::What do we do now? They’re never going to let us near the Breach,:: Chuck said, frustrated.

::They’re never going to let _Striker_ near the Breach,:: Raleigh corrected, a hollow feeling growing in him. ::Gipsy has a double nuclear core.::

::All Striker will need to do is keep them occupied.::

Locking eyes, they let the last of the barriers between them fall until they were _ChuckandRaleigh_.

*** * ***

"Whoa!" Tendo exclaimed as one of the monitors started shrieking at him. He ignored Herc’s growled demands hitting the comms as he pushed Dr. Geiszler out of the way. "Gipsy, what are you doing? You just hit 100% synchronicity."

"We’re closing the Breach, LOCCENT."

Tendo shivered, absently crossing himself. He’d thought the double-speak was kind of creepy before, now it was downright hair-raising. 

"Striker, Gipsy is nuclear. A walking bomb. We’re making the run on the Breach."

"Stay where you are. You’ll never make it with that leg."

"There’s no other choice, sir! This is our only chance."

"I know. But we can clear a path for you."

"What?! You just need to keep them occupied, Striker!"

Herc’s eyes closed as the meaning of Stacker’s words sunk in. He was going to lose them all.

"For our family," Mako vowed, voice strong.

"Not you. Not today, Mako."

"Sensei, no. No!"

"Live, Mako. For me, my brave girl."

"You don’t have to do this, sir!"

"Striker Pod 2 away. Look after her for me, Herc. I’m proud of you, boys. Brace yourselves."

"It’s been an honor, sir."

And then Striker was gone. Silence filled the room.

*** * ***

Stabbing her sword into the ocean floor, they dug Gipsy’s feet into the silt and leaned into the oncoming shockwave. Alarms screamed at them as equipment went haywire. Despite the situation, they found themselves amazed that the blast had actually vaporized or pushed back all the water around them, leaving fish flopping around on the dirt. It lasted only for a brief moment before all the water came rushing back in to fill the void. When they weren’t in danger of getting knocked head over heels, they grabbed the corpse of Raiju and started forward.

"LOCCENT, Gipsy is headed to the Breach."

"Good luck, Gipsy," Tendo said quietly.

Mere feet from the Breach, they were surprised when the proximity warnings alerted them to an incoming kaiju.

Slattern.

It was headed straight for their back. At the very last minute, they spun around, skewering it through the side. They even managed to hook one leg around it, keeping it further pinned as momentum dragged them down into the Breach. It clawed and scratched at them as they fell through the opening, inflicting damage to their torso. They pushed the sword even deeper, twisting it to widen the wound. Slattern’s struggles weakened until it stopped fighting, slumping over dead and sliding from the sword.

They let it go, no longer needing it as they continued to fall through the throat of the Breach. The damage to Gipsy was extensive. They were no longer _ChuckandRaleigh_ but Chuck and Raleigh again. Chuck’s oxygen supply was severely depleted, dragging him towards unconsciousness.

Raleigh could feel it tugging at him through their bond and the strong Drift. The mission wasn’t over yet though. Making a decision, Raleigh disconnected the neural bridge, ignoring the faint feeling of protest from Chuck.

"I’ve got this, Chuck. All I need to do is fall. Anyone can do that. I won’t lose you for this. I’ll be right behind you." He unhooked the hose feeding him oxygen and hooked it into Chuck’s, then hit the escape pod controls. He watched as the cradle raised Chuck into the pod, still feebly protesting.

"I love you."

The escape pod jettisoned and was gone.


	14. Chapter 14

"They’re in the Breach!" Tendo announced to cheers from around the room.

"What about Slattern?" Herc demanded, leaning over his shoulder to watch the monitor.

"Still alive. No," Tendo shook his head. "I take that back. Signal just disappeared on Slattern while I’m still reading Gipsy strong. She’s taken heavy damage though. Oxygen levels on the left side are severely depleted. I’m starting to see failures in several systems."

Dr. Gottlieb pressed in on Tendo’s other side, eyes darting over the display, lips moving as he adjusted his calculations. "Based on this data, they need to set the self-destruct and do it soon. Much further into the Breach and I don’t know if they’ll be able to get back out or, if they can, outrun the explosion in the escape pods."

A new signal appeared in the Breach. Tendo quickly adjusted the monitor to get a reading. "Gipsy’s second escape pod just jettisoned." He glanced up at Herc. "It’s Chuck’s pod, sir. Signals a little weak but life signs look stable."

Herc’s jaw tightening was the only display of emotion he gave. "And Raleigh? Any sign of his pod?"

"He’s still connected to Gipsy, sir," he answered, voice shaking slightly. "His side of the neural bridge is still active." 

They all knew he’d piloted once on his own before but no one knew how he’d been able to do it. To pilot on his own a second time now was almost guaranteed suicide. 

"Warning. Auto self-destruct damaged. Manual override required _,_ " the computer announced. "Warning. Auto self-destruct damaged. Manual override required _._ "

Tendo cursed, watching helplessly as the telemetry they were receiving from Gipsy indicated she was approaching another gateway. Her signal flickered then disappeared completely. There was no way Raleigh had managed to get to the manual override yet meaning he was now on the other side of the Breach, in what the K-scientists had started calling the Anteverse. Hands curling into fists Tendo brought his rosary to his lips as he whispered prayers. 

Herc slumped beside him for a brief moment, eyes squeezed shut. As the new marshal, he didn’t have time for more than that right now. He turned to the techs around the room. "Do we have locations on my son and Mori’s pods?"

"Ranger Hansen’s pod should be surfacing shortly, sir. Almost directly above the Breach," a female tech answered. "We don’t... Wait, we’re receiving a very weak signal from Ranger Mori’s pod, sir. It keeps cutting out making tracking it difficult. Location is roughly two miles east of the Breach. We’re receiving no other signals from the pod, sir."

Herc nodded understanding what she wasn’t saying. "Send out the choppers," he ordered. "Split them between the two locations. Full radiation gear for Mori’s. Send the choppers now!" he bellowed when no one immediately obeyed, sending them scurrying.

"Sir!" Tendo shouted excitedly. "Escape pod one from Gipsy just entered the throat of the Breach."

"And the Breach?"

"No change yet. Come on. Come on," he muttered. "There!" He pointed unnecessarily at the monitor. Raleigh’s pod was still rising as the bottom of the Breach slowly began to disintegrate. "He did it. He did it!"

The pod broke through the Breach and into the ocean just as it finished collapsing. Cheers broke out across the room.

"Sir?" Tendo grinned at Herc. 

Smiling back, Herc switched the comms to the Shatterdome PA system. "This is Marshal Hercules Hansen. Stop the clock!"

Cheers rocked the Shatterdome. 

*** * ***

Chuck winced at the way the pod jostled when it finally breached the ocean surface. The clamps holding him in place to prevent injury slid away, letting him reach up to hit the release on the pod hatch. The hatch shot off with a hiss of pressurized air. He immediately pulled himself into a sitting position, grimacing at the pull of abused muscles. His eyes scanned the surrounding water for Raleigh’s pod.

"C’mon, you stupid seppo. Where are you?" he muttered. It took him a moment to notice Tendo’s voice calling for him over the escape pod comms. 

"Oi, where’s Raleigh’s pod?" he demanded, cutting off whatever the LOCCENT officer was trying to ask him. 

Tendo sighed heavily before saying, “"His pod is on its’ way up. Should surface thirty to forty meters north northeast of you. He didn’t eject until almost three minutes after you."

"What?" Chuck snapped, scanning the likely area. "What took him so long? Said he’d be right behind me."

"Near as we can tell the auto self-destruct was damaged," Tendo tried to explain. "He would’ve had to use the manual override."

"That’s on the other fucking side of the conn-pod from his position. What’s his status? Any detectable injuries?"

Silence met his questions. He frowned at the pod, wondering if the comms had shorted. "Tendo? You hear me? What’s Raleigh’s status?"

"We don’t know," Tendo finally answered. "We’re not getting any life signs from his pod."

"What?! Are you sure? Is there a malfunction? What do you mean there are no life signs? How close to the surface is he? It’s gotta be a malfunction." Chuck knew he was rambling and just a bit hysterical, but there was no way he could lose Raleigh. They’d just bonded. He couldn’t lose him now.

"Charles Perseus Hansen, take a deep breath and listen to me, dammit!"

His father’s voice snapping at him finally caught his attention. He sucked in a ragged breath, noticing he was feeling light-headed. "Sir?"

"Good, son. Take another breath."

Chuck did as instructed, then, "Dad? Raleigh..."

"I know. We’re not getting readings but that doesn’t mean shit right now. I want you to feel your bond with him. Does it feel like he’s maybe asleep or does it feel like a huge gaping wound in your soul?"

He gripped the edge of the pod tightly, wanting to vomit at the thought of their bond being broken. Instead he closed his eyes, searching for that link. Chuck sobbed with relief when he found it. There was pain there and Raleigh didn’t respond when he pushed at him but he was alive.

"Chuck? C’mon, son. Talk to us. What do you feel?"

"He’s alive," Chuck managed. "He’s not responding to me but I can feel him."

"Good. That’s good, son. He should be surfacing any second now. Choppers are on the way and Medical is on standby. Sorry, son. Looks like there’s a decontamination shower in your near future."

"Whatever, old man," Chuck mumbled, searching for the pod.

The water began to roil, followed quickly by the second escape pod surfacing. Chuck waited a beat for the hatch to release. When it didn’t, he dove into the water, swimming strongly towards the pod. He could still feel Raleigh. Instead of getting stronger though, it was getting weaker. The thought that he was feeling his bondmate slip away made his blood run cold.

Climbing onto the pod, he quickly undid the latches, barely waiting for the hatch to shoot off before reaching for Raleigh. He could hear his father and Tendo over the comms calling for him or Raleigh. He ignored them as he searched for a pulse, some sign that Raleigh was breathing. Chuck cursed when he couldn’t feel anything through the drive suit gloves. He yanked at the left hand glove with his right hand and teeth until it finally tore free.

He shoved his uncovered fingers against Raleigh’s neck again, gently cradling his cheek with his right.

"He’s got a pulse!" Chuck shouted when he found it, weak but there. Then it sank in he wasn’t breathing. "Fuck. He’s not breathing. How the hell am I supposed to do CPR on this bloody thing?" he snarled when he almost fell off the pod trying to get a good angle.

He finally yanked Raleigh further out of the pod so he could straddle the canopy while doing chest compressions. "Fuck, I hope you don’t have any broken ribs, Raleigh. C’mon. Breathe, you bastard."

Leaning forward, he pinched Raleigh’s nose shut as he breathed into Raleigh’s mouth. Three breaths then he was pulling back to start chest compressions again. On the fourth compression, Raleigh began coughing, his whole body shaking beneath the force of them. Chuck held onto him through them.

"That’s it, Raleigh. Breathe. C’mon, take a deep breath. That’s it. That’s it."

As soon as he seemed to be breathing normally again, Chuck hauled him up into a tight embrace. Raleigh just lay limp against him for a moment then brought his right arm up to wrap around Chuck’s waist.

"You bastard," Chuck growled, blinking back tears. "What happened to doing this together? To not leaving your copilot behind? You could have died, you fucker."

"And you _were_ dying, Chuck," Raleigh said, pulling back to look him in the face. "You had no oxygen. You were dying. I could feel it. I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t."

"You were lucky you didn’t turn your brain to mush, you idiot. What were you thinking trying to pilot Gipsy on your own?"

"I’d done it before," Raleigh shrugged, wincing at the movement. "And it wasn’t so much piloting as falling. The hard part was getting to the damn override. I think I dislocated my shoulder," he grimaced.

Looking at the way Raleigh’s left arm was hanging in the drive suit and the way he went white as a sheet when Chuck touched it, he agreed. "At the least, it’s dislocated. May’ve broken the collarbone. You and the old man can have matching slings."

"Oi, don’t call me that," Herc growled on the comms, making them both laugh. Catching sight of the choppers in the distance, Raleigh sobered.

"Any sign of Mako’s pod?" he asked.

"Looks like she surfaced two miles east of you boys. No life signs but the signal is weak and intermittent. We’re assuming she’s alive and the pod was damaged in the blast. We’ll let you know as soon as we know more."

"Thanks," Raleigh said, leaning into Chuck. Chuck held him as tightly as he could without putting more pressure on the damaged shoulder. The gentle rocking of the ocean lulled them into a hazy half-awake state while they waited for the choppers.

When they got there, Chuck was able to climb up the rope ladder but they had to send down the rescue basket for Raleigh. Check refused to go up until they took Raleigh. The chopper crew wasn’t happy with him but Chuck didn’t give a rat’s ass what they thought. He’d left his copilot and bondmate behind once, he wasn’t doing it again.

*****

By the time the Shatterdome was in sight, Chuck had a pounding headache, his body felt like he’d gone ten rounds with a kaiju without a jaeger and there was a good chance he had cracked or broken ribs. He’d refused to take anything stronger than ibuprofen. Raleigh had passed out shortly after they’d given him a shot of morphine and Chuck as determined to keep watch over him.

He knew they were safe. He knew they’d closed the Breach, his father had reassured him of that, but the fuzzy memories of being raised into the escape pod, of knowing he was being forced to leave his bondmate behind consumed him. He wasn’t going to let it happen again.

Chuck had a tight grip on Raleigh’s right hand, watching Hong Kong and the Shatterdome grow larger in the distance. It wasn’t hard to imagine the crowds that were going to be waiting for them: all the people cheering, wanting to shake their hands, or give a pat on the back; reporters wanting a sound bite. Chuck had lived for that; felt it was his due for strapping on a jaeger and killing kaiju better than anyone else.

Now he’d helped save the whole world and all he wanted was to make sure Raleigh’s injuries were taken care of so he could curl up with his bondmate and sleep for a week. Maybe a month. A month sounded good.

A knock on his armor brought him out of the doze he’d fallen into. Mara, one of the medics who’d come with them from Sydney, sat next to him; her hand rose to turn on the sound in the headset he was wearing.

"Less than a minute out, kiddo," her voice suddenly filled his ears. "There’s a crowd waiting but they’ll be held back. The docs want you two brought straight into Medical for decontamination and full check overs."

"Why decontam? Thought radiation levels were minimal?" he demanded, grip tightening on Raleigh’s hand.

"Minimal not non-existent. Plus, you boys’ve been in another universe. Gotta make sure nothing came back, yeah?"

"You just want a look at my goolies," he grumbled.

Mara laughed. "You know it, kiddo."

The teasing helped distract him for a moment. Mara had been a medic on Striker’s crew since the beginning. She’d been a medic on Lucky Seven’s crew as well. Most of that time she’d been bonded with a sweet little beta named Sylvia on Striker’s tech crew who wielded a mean socket wrench.

The jumphawk landed with a jolt on the helipad. Chuck could see the crowd by the doors and the medical teams rushing towards them. Mara nudged his arm.

"Sorry, Chuck. You’re gonna have to let him go now. We’ll get you back to him as soon as we can."

"What? No. I’m staying with Raleigh."

"You can’t, Chuck. Not right now. Let them take care of him for now, kiddo, and we’ll take are of you. Sooner done, sooner you’ll be back together, yeah?" she soothed, her hand on his wrist. 

He looked at the other medics who were all watching him, waiting. Reluctantly, he nodded, letting go of Raleigh’s hand. He’d barely sat back before they were lifting Raleigh’s stretcher off the chopper to the waiting gurney and whisking him away. 

Hurryingto follow, Chuck stumbled and would have fallen if Mara and another medic hadn’t grabbed him. He gritted his teeth against the pain, arm curled protectively around his ribs.

"Easy there. We’re gonna take it nice and slow," she said for his ears only. "Unless you want the doc to insist on the gurney?"

He glared at her cheeky smile, shaking his head. They both knew damn well how much he hated being forced onto a gurney if he could walk. He let them help him out of the chopper, shrugging them off when he had both feet on solid ground. Chuck ignored the medics bracketing him, ignored the pain in his side and the ache of his hard-used muscles, concentrating instead on putting one foot in front of the other so he didn’t fall flat on his face.

As they neared the crowds, he tried to paste on a smile on his face knowing it was what they wanted to see. The sound of Max barking ahead turned it into a real smile. His best friend strained at the leash securely wrapped around Herc’s good hand. Red-rimmed eyes and stress lines carved into his face made his father look older than Chuck could ever remember him being. It hit Chuck then that his dad was the new marshal and all that meant. He started towards him but Mara held him back.

"Sorry, kiddo. Not until you’ve been through the decontamination process. You know the rules."

He did. He didn’t like it but he knew he couldn’t do anything about it. Instead, he kept his voice upbeat for Max who wouldn’t understand why he couldn’t play or give scratches just yet.

"Good boy, Max. Good boy." Chuck met his dad’s eyes. "Dad?"

"I’ll look after him. We’ll be in to see you as soon as they let us."

"Raleigh?"

"I’ll look out for him too. Bring you news soon as I can."

Chuck nodded his head gratefully. They might not have the Drift anymore but five years living in each other’s heads and six years before that living in each other’s pockets meant they didn’t really need the Drift to know what the other was thinking. Then, knowing Raleigh would want to know the moment he was coherent enough, Chuck asked, "Mori?"

"On their way in with her. She’s alive. Barely, but alive. Laundry list of issues but the big one is the radiation poisoning. I’ll know more when they get in with her. Go on now. Get yourself looked over."

"Yes, sir."

He’d only gotten a few steps past him when Herc called out again. "You did good, son. I’m proud of you."

Chuck stopped, turning to look back at his father. There was a suspicious sheen in Herc’s eyes and Chuck found himself swallowing past a lump in his throat. "Thanks, Dad."

Herc nodded gruffly, then looked meaningfully to Mara. She quirked a grin and gently pushed Chuck forward to get him moving again. They continued into the Shatterdome past the cheering crowds. The moment they were in the elevator, door closed behind them, Chuck sagged against the wall, exhausted.

"Not too much longer," Mara said, gaze sympathetic. Chuck grunted, too tired to reply. Closing his eyes, he pressed at the bond, checking on Raleigh the only way he could then. Raleigh was still unconscious, pain hovering at the edge of his mind but otherwise not in distress.

At the hand on his arm, Chuck roused just enough to be led into Medical and stripped of his armor. The shock of cold water in the shower brought him back to the here and now with a yelp. He glared at the people scrubbing him down. They ignored him.

Deemed clean, he dried off and pulled on the scrubs they gave him. Out of public view, with exhaustion pulling at him, Chuck allowed the medics to push him onto a gurney to wheel him off for x-rays, MRIs, and whatever other tests they wanted to run that didn’t require him to move. He fell asleep sometime during the x-rays, woke briefly when they sat him up to wrap his thankfully just cracked ribs, but fell back asleep the second he was horizontal again.

*** * ***

The next time he woke up, Max was on the bed cuddled into his side, head on his chest watching him. Herc sat slumped in the chair beside the bed, head tipped back, eyes closed. The moment Chuck shifted, they were both staring at him.

Chuck blinked at his father, one hand absently scrunching the loose folds of skin around Max’s neck in a rough caress. "Raleigh?" Chuck croaked.

Herc checked his watch as he leaned forward to grab the cup of water with straw the nurse had left for him, handing it over to Chuck who sipped at it gratefully.

"In surgery as of half an hour ago. Putting it at roughly three hours. He broke his collarbone and tore some ligaments and muscle. The nurse didn’t expect it to be much longer. They’ll bring him here once he’s out of surgery."

"Mm, good." He turned to look around the room but frowned at the pull of something across his face. Reaching to pull it off, he frowned when Herc smacked his hand away.

"Leave that. It’s a nose cannula feeding you oxygen. Doc wants that on a while longer."

Chuck dropped his hand, a vague memory teasing at him. "In Gipsy. Raleigh gave me his oxygen?"

"Yeah. Yours was damaged. The levels on your tanks were below 10%. You were starting to suffocate. If Raleigh hadn’t given you his, you would have died before reaching the ocean surface."

"Instead Raleigh did."

Herc grimaced, unable to refute that statement.

"Stupid bastard."

"We all do stupid things to protect the ones we love." Herc didn’t look at him, focusing on Max instead.

Chuck remained silent thinking of the people he knew his father had loved and lost, of what he would do in his father’s place. Chuck couldn’t do it. The thought of losing Raleigh made his heart ache. It was hard to believe they’d been bonded less than forty-eight hours. It already felt like a lifetime.

"How’s Mori?" he asked, needing to change the subject. 

The worry lines on Herc’s face deepened, aging him ten years in an instant. The news couldn’t be good. Herc sighed. "She’s in surgery as well. Radiation poisoning like I said earlier. Not enough to kill her right off but she’ll most likely develop some form of cancer similar to Stacker. Assuming she survives the burns, the internal bleeding, and the broken bones. Assuming infection or some other secondary illness doesn’t set in. Once she’s stabilized, the docs say most of it will depend on her."

"Not good then." Chuck dropped his head back against his pillow, staring at the ceiling. No matter what happened with Mako, his father and Raleigh were going to be consumed with guilt. Chuck felt bad for her to be sure. They’d practically grown up together in the Shatterdome. They’d been friends and competitors with each other. His father and Raleigh had both Drifted with her though. That was something else entirely. He couldn’t help thinking if things had been different it could have been him in Striker with Marshal Pentecost. Chuck shivered. There was no doubt in Chuck’s mind that he’d have made the sacrifice. He wondered though if the marshal would have tried to eject him like he did Mako?

Herc’s hand on his, squeezing it tight, brought him back to the present. "We’ll get through this, yeah? We’re Hansens and Hansens are stubborn bastards."

"To the end," Chuck agreed, meeting his dad’s gaze. 

"To the end."

A knock, followed by the door pushing open, drew their attention. A nurse held the door open while two more wheeled in a gurney with a sedated Raleigh. Herc stood, picking Max up off the bed with his good arm and shuffling out of the way. Chuck scooted over so there was plenty of room, mindful of the few tubes and wires connected to him.

With concerted moves, they shifted Raleigh onto the bed so Chuck was on his right side away from the bandages. The gurney was rolled out while the first nurse set up Raleigh’s IV and monitors properly.

She smiled at Chuck when she was finished. "He came through the surgery just fine. All the damage to his shoulder has been repaired. He’ll need physical therapy but Dr. Ting will go over all that when he wakes up.

"When will that be?" Chuck asked.

"The anesthesia should be completely out of his system in a couple of hours. How long he sleeps will be up to him, but I expect he will wake in the next two to three hours." She fiddled with Chuck’s heart monitor and oxygen ratio a moment before gesturing to Herc. Setting Max on the bed to curl up against Raleigh’s hip, he allowed her to check his sling. She tutted at him when she was finished, leaving and returning a minute later, carrying a small paper cup with two pills that she handed to Herc. Grimacing, he swallowed them dry before taking the cup of water she’d poured to wash away the aftertaste.

"Any news on Miss Mori?"

She shook her head. "She is still in surgery. I will have someone notify you when she is done but she will be going straight to Isolation until her immune system has recovered enough."

"She’ll be able to have visitors though, right?"

"After twenty-four hours, with full quarantine procedures to protect her from infection."

"We understand," Herc replied.

"Good. Get some rest. All of you." Another smile and she was gone.

Chuck immediately curled around Raleigh’s right side, slinging a possessive arm over his waist. Herc sat back down in the chair he’d been using.

"Shouldn’t you be off celebrating with the rest of the Dome?"

"Maybe later. Get some sleep, son. I’ve got this watch."

Chuck stared at him, not sure what he was looking for but eventually closed his eyes letting sleep claim him. He muttered barely-coherent thanks when he felt a blanket draped over them.


	15. Chapter 15

Raleigh woke slowly, warm and comfortable in a way he couldn’t remember being in a long time. Not wanting to wake up just yet, he curled into the warmth on his right side, whining when pain shot through his left shoulder and arm. His blanket shifted against him, hands gently pressing him back down into the bed. Blinking his eyes open, he found Chuck hovering above him brow creased with worry.

"Hey," Chuck said quietly.

"Hey," he croaked, his throat dry and sore. A plastic cup of water appeared in his line of sight, Chuck taking it before he could and holding it up to his lips. He sipped gratefully at it looking around the room. Herc smiled tiredly at him from the bedside chair. Based on the state of his clothes, Raleigh didn’t think the other man had slept since before they’d dropped for Pitfall. Maybe even the battle in the harbor.

Shifting his head back from the cup, he looked between the two men. "We win? Did we close the Breach?"

"Closed up tight," Herc confirmed. "You blew those bastards back to Hell."

"Good. " He blinked slowly trying to order his thoughts. His brain felt like it was packed in cotton muffling everything. Something was nagging at him. He could see the concerned looks passing between Chuck and Herc but didn’t have the energy to decipher them. What was missing?

"Mako. Did... Did..." He trailed off not sure what he wanted to ask, if he wanted to know. Another look passed between father and son and Raleigh felt comfort flooding the Bond. His heart plummeted.

"She’s alive," Chuck hurried to reassure him. "She’s alive."

Raleigh let out a ragged breath, closing his eyes against tears of relief. He’d only known her for a few short days but the thought of losing her, of losing yet another member of his little family, was overwhelming. Chuck curled around him, pressing his lips to Raleigh’s temple.

"She’s alive, Raleigh. I promise. She’s alive."

He nodded, opening his eyes to meet Herc’s gaze. "When can I see her?"

Herc winced, rubbing at the back of his neck. "Gonna need to talk to the doctor about that. They’ve got her in Isolation because of the radiation poisoning and in a medically-induced coma to help her body recover from the surgery."

"How bad?"

"We should wait for the doctor," Herc temporized. "Don’t want to get my facts mixed up and make it seem worse than it is. I’m gonna go find her. She wanted to know when you woke up anyway."

With a hesitant pat to Raleigh’s leg, Herc left the room before he could say more. Raleigh watched him go then shifted his gaze to Chuck.

"I know less than Herc does," Chuck said to the unasked question. "I know she had burns, some broken bones and maybe internal bleeding. What you’d expect for someone tossed around in a pod by a nuclear explosion at the bottom of the ocean. How’re you feeling?"

Raleigh looked away, blinking. The cotton feeling was back. Everything felt far away and detached. He knew he was injured, knew he should feel pain yet it was all muffled. 

"Raleigh?" Chuck’s voice broke into his thoughts drawing his attention back to him. "How’re you feeling?"

"Fuzzy," he said, closing his eyes and resting his head against Chuck’s shoulder. A tendril of worry teased at the edge of his thoughts. He didn’t know if it came from him or Chuck. He didn’t have the energy to care. Instead he cuddled closer to the lean body pressed against his, enjoying the feelings of warmth, security and love Chuck projected, drifting back to sleep.

*** * ***

Quiet voices over his head drew Raleigh from sleep. Raleigh growled in annoyance at being woken from the dream he’d been having. He’d been a jaeger pilot again, helped close the Breach for good and even bonded. Squeezing his eyes shut tighter, he huddled in his blanket, mindful of the ache in his left shoulder. He only spared a brief thought to wonder what he’d done to it, more interested in holding onto the memory of his dream.

"Raleigh?" the voice from his dream spoke in his ear. He frowned. That couldn’t be right. None of the other workers he bunked with had Australian accents. Americans, Canadians, a couple of Russians and a Swede but no Australians.

"C’mon, Rals. I know you’re awake. Open those blue eyes for me, yeah?"

Worry not his own seeped into his thoughts, making him finally give in to the inevitable. Opening his eyes, he blinked at the wall of olive drab green in front of him. He blinked again realizing he was staring at someone’s chest, that he was in bed with another guy. Something he hadn’t done in a very, very long time.

"Raleigh?" the voice from his dream asked again. Sliding his gaze upward, Raleigh stared at Chuck. All of his memories came rushing back like water filling a basin.

"It wasn’t a dream," he murmured, twisting the fingers of his good hand in Chuck’s shirt.

"Dream? What? Did you hit your head?" Chuck frowned at someone over Raleigh’s shoulder. "Did he hit his head?"

"Patients waking from anesthesia do sometimes experience a sense of confusion," Dr. Ting’s voice came from behind Raleigh. "Ranger Becket? Can you look at me, please? I need to examine you."

With Chuck and the doctor’s help, Raleigh shifted so that he was facing her and the rest of the room without putting too much pressure on his shoulder. Herc hovered behind her, face pinched with worry.

Ting smiled warmly at Raleigh. "It is good to see you finally awake, Ranger Becket. You will not be able to run away before the exam is complete this time."

Raleigh blushed at the gentle rebuke, ignoring Chuck’s questioning look.

"Now, to reassure these two, do you know where you are?"

"Infirmary in the Hong Kong Shatterdome?"

"That is correct. Do you know who is in the room with us?"

"Yeah." He frowned when she stared at him expectantly. "You’re Dr. Ting. Herc," he nodded to him, "Max," he gestured to the bulldog at his hip then tangled his fingers with Chuck’s. "And this is my bondmate Chuck. I haven’t lost my mind."

"You were without oxygen for at least three minutes after piloting a jaeger on your own." She held up a hand when he started to protest. "The effects of the last time you piloted solo were never fully documented. Brain damage is an understandable concern in this situation.” As she spoke, she checked his pulse, then, when she’d finished speaking, checked his breathing and listened to his heart with her stethoscope. Satisfied with his condition, she finished with, “The fact that you are coherent and appear to have a full grasp of your surroundings, even with the confusion you experienced when you woke, is amazing."

"He wasn’t confused the first time he woke up though," Chuck said.

Dr. Ting tilted her in acknowledgement. "As I’ve said, waking from anesthesia can cause some disorientation. I’m not concerned yet but I will make a note on his chart. If it happens again, make sure to inform a nurse or me. That means you, Ranger Becket. Do not hide this if it happens again. We can’t help you if we don’t know there’s a problem."

"Yes, ma’am."

"Good." She held up her right pointer finger in front of his eyes as she gently gripped his chin with her left hand. "Follow my finger with just your eyes please." She began to move it slowly in various directions as he tracked it. "Overall, how are you feeling?"

"My left shoulder hurts," he answered as she examined his eyes then continued with the rest of him, gently poking and prodding as she did so. "So does my right side a little. Different kinds of pain though."

"Understandable. They’re two different kinds of injury. You dislocated your left shoulder, tore a muscle and a ligament," she said, peeling back the bandage there to check the surgical incision. "You also have a spiral fracture in your collarbone. It’s mildly concerning as it indicates brittle bones, most likely a result of the malnourishment you’ve suffered. I’ve already added a calcium supplement to your medications, but I also want you to eat plenty of calcium and potassium rich foods as well."

"Malnourishment?" Chuck demanded, looking from Dr. Ting to Raleigh, his grip tightening around Raleigh, who flushed, averting his eyes.

"Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon among populations dealing with rationing," Dr. Ting said, picking up Raleigh’s chart. "With a good diet and vitamin supplements, we’ll have him back to full health in no time," she assured Chuck. Turning to Raleigh, she said, "Now the pain along your right side is a new set of circuitry burns. They won’t scar as bad as the ones on your left side so they won’t be a completely matching set. Any other symptoms?"

Raleigh shook his head. "Just the usual aches after a kaiju fight. How’s Mako? When can I go see her? I don’t even care if I do have to where the big hazmat suit."

Dr. Ting hesitated, filling Raleigh with dread. He remembered Chuck assuring him she was alive. He remembered that. Had something happened since then? Were there complications?

"Raleigh," Dr. Ting interrupted his thoughts, both hands on his face to force him to look at her. "I need you to take a deep breath. You can do it. Deep breath."

Sucking in a ragged gasp of air, he felt some of the constriction in his chest ease, though the fear didn’t abate. He took another breath letting it out slowly at Dr. Ting’s order.

"That’s better," she said, stepping back to allow Chuck to fuss over Raleigh. "Ranger Mori is stable but still in critical condition. We were able to repair the injuries to her internal organs and set the broken bones. Her left femur and knee were crushed, which will require further surgeries. Those will need to wait until her immune system has stabilized a bit more. We also have several specialists flying in to look over her case. Our major concern is that she’ll need a bone marrow transplant, which could cause strain on her already severely overtaxed system. We are optimistic though."

"So when can I see her?" Raleigh demanded. He needed to be there for her. She shouldn’t be alone in this.

"Despite the shielding on the escape pod and going through the decontamination process, Ranger Mori is still giving off a level of radiation that we don’t feel comfortable exposing you to in your condition."

"My condition? I can’t see her just because I’m injured?" Raleigh frowned.

Dr. Ting blinked. "No. I meant your pregnancy. Between piloting solo and your exposure to the Breach and the kaiju home universe, we don’t want to add any more stresses to your body that could endanger you or the fetus."

Raleigh froze, staring at her wide-eyed, as he felt Chuck go still beside him. He couldn’t have heard that right. "I... Did you... That’s not possible. I’m..."

"Sterile?" She quirked an eyebrow at him. "If you hadn’t run out before your exam was finished, I could have told you that you’re not. You are a fully functioning omega, Ranger Becket, who is currently pregnant," she informed him.

"But the doctor in Sheldon Point said... I hadn’t had a heat in almost five years. I just... How?"

She sighed, resting her hip against the bed. "I don’t have any real answers for that. Just theories. Although I will say the _doctor_ ," she sneered, "you saw should have his license revoked since he clearly doesn’t know what he’s doing. It’s not unusual for an omega who has suffered a severe trauma to miss a couple of heats, even up to a year depending on the trauma. It’s also quite common for omegas undergoing chemotherapy for cancer to not cycle during the treatment. Five years is incredibly unusual but your circumstances are also quite unusual. You were the only omega pilot, and there is still so much we don’t know about Drift technology and its affects on the human body, particularly omegas.

"You were pregnant when your brother was literally torn from your mind, when you piloted and fought a kaiju on _your own._ These are severe traumas. I looked at your medical records after the battle, meager as they are due to you leaving so quickly. I compared them to the work up I did during your exam when you first arrived here, the work up after your attempted Drift with Ranger Mori, and then to the work up I did while you were in surgery. It would have been better if I’d been able to get a blood sample after the Hong Kong battle when you first went into heat but neither of you showed up for your post-battle exams like you were supposed to," she admonished with a glare. Raleigh had the grace to look embarrassed while Chuck returned her glare.

"What did the comparisons you were able to do tell you?" Herc asked, reminding them he was there before things could get out of hand.

"Based on the information I have, my theory is that being in the Drift when you miscarried caused your body to continue producing certain chemicals and hormones. These essentially caused your body to believe it was still in the early stages of a pregnancy. Because you weren’t actually pregnant, there was never a change in your body chemistry to make it realize you weren’t."

"Wait, you’re saying he never went into heat because his body already thought he was pregnant even though he wasn’t?" Chuck demanded. "Then what changed? Why’d he go into heat now?"

"He Drifted." She focused on Raleigh. "I’m guessing that after you Drifted with Ranger Mori you felt achy and out of sorts but blamed it on the failed Drift, correct?"

"Yeah, how’d you know?" Raleigh asked, absently petting Chuck who’d grumbled at the mention of the failed Drift.

"The blood panel we did at that point indicated your body had begun to realize it was no longer pregnant. The sudden change after five years was bound to cause some discomfort as you adjusted. If you hadn’t so diligently avoided me, I would have given you an idea of what was going on."

"Sorry," he said sheepishly.

"It’s done," she waved it off. "In the future, however, you will not get away with such behavior."

"Yes, ma’am."

"Good. I’ll leave you alone now as I can see you getting tired. I’ll be back later. Gentlemen."

Herc followed her to the door, closing it behind her, and returned to his chair beside the bed. Raleigh idly noted this, still struggling to come to terms with what she’d told him. Chuck hovered beside him, trying to contain the joy he felt from leaking too much into the bond. Raleigh thought of telling him it wasn’t working but didn’t. Instead he pushed down the covers and, thanking God he had on underwear, pulled up his hospital gown so he could see his flat abdomen. Chuck’s hand hovered for a moment before tenderly covering the expanse.

"I’m pregnant," Raleigh said, each feather-soft word lifting a heavy weight from his heart. Chuck pressed a kiss to his temple. "I’m pregnant, Chuck."

"I know, Rals," he said in a voice so full of awe it was almost painful to hear.

"I’m pregnant," he choked out on a sob, curling into Chuck as best he could, tears streaming down his face in a torrent of emotion, breath hitching in his chest. "I’m pregnant."

Chuck immediately gathered him in close, mindful of his injuries. Raleigh felt Chuck’s surprise, worry, and general helplessness but couldn’t focus past his own maelstrom to comfort him. For so long, he’d believed a lie to be truth. He’d forced himself to accept that he was fundamentally damaged, that he, not others, was the problem. So much had changed with just a few words. It felt like a long-forgotten weight had been lifted from his shoulders, leaving him feeling weightless and wondering when the inevitable fall would come.

"What the hell, Dad?" He heard Chuck ask his father over him. A warm, broad hand settled on Raleigh’s back, a sense of security and warmth filling him.

"Let me tell you about your mother and the older sibling you were supposed to have," Herc said, voice rough as gravel. Raleigh slid into sleep, listening to the soothing rumble of their voices.

*** * ***

Herc sighed when the quarantine suit snagged on his sling for the third time. The nurse helping him suit up teased it free then pulled the stiff material the rest of the way up his shoulder.

"I could just ditch the sling," Herc suggested. "M’ shoulder feels fine."

The nurse ignored him, zipping up the back of the suit and pressing the velcro panel into place over the seam.

"I am the marshal, y’ know? You’re supposed to do what I say."

That got him a deeply unimpressed look.

"No respect," he muttered.

"I have a lot of respect for you, sir," she said, using medical tape to fold up the empty suit arm then bind it to his side. "Just not when you’re trying to do stupid things that will endanger your health. Unless, of course, you want to run the risk of the bone healing crooked, preventing you from regaining full use of your arm and having a weak spot that will always be susceptible to a second break?" The ‘dumbass’ was left hanging unspoken in the air.

Herc pretended to consider it, enjoying the way her eyes narrowed at him. "I suppose I could keep wearing the sling a mite longer. Never know what I might need to use my shoulder for."

"Never know," she agreed drily, holding up the helmet to help him get it on. He grimaced, hating the claustrophobic feel of it but let it slip over his head, holding still while she secured it in place. A final pat and she came to stand in front of him. "You’re all set to go. Remember what I told you about connecting the hose to the outlet by the door."

"Yes, ma’am."

Once she nodded he stepped through the first airlock style door waiting until it clicked shut and the red light over the door leading directly into Mako’s room turned green. He stepped through the second door, closed it securely and connected his air hose before he took his first real look at Mako.

The air rushed out of his lungs in a ragged gasp like a punch in the gut. She lay limp and wan in the bed, her skin so washed out she almost matched the sheets and bandages covering the bulk of her body. Her usually vibrant hair spread across her pillow in dull clumps. The sheet covering her legs outlined rather than hid the large brace holding her left leg immobilized. His jaw clenched when he caught sight of her left hand and the bandages covering the space where her pinky and ring fingers used to be. She stared aimlessly at the far wall, her eyes dull and lifeless. If it weren’t for the occasional blink and the steady beeping of the heart monitor, he’d think she had passed. He’d never seen her appear so small in all the time he’d known her.

"Oh, sweetheart," he whispered, sitting in the chair beside her bed. She blinked when he entered her field of vision but showed no other signs of recognition or acknowledgement. He hesitated for a moment, hand in the air, as he tried to determine where he could touch her without hurting her. He finally settled on the crown of her head, keeping his touch as light as he could. Her helmet had protected her head fairly well but there’d still been some concern of a possible concussion.

"I... Well, I’m not quite sure what to say. The doctors tell me that you’re aware of what’s going on. You’re just choosing not to respond. Can’t say as I blame you. Plenty of times the last couple days, I wished I could just crawl into Sta... into bed and tell the rest of the world to shove off. Too much to do though."

He shook his head, a wry smile twisting his lips. "You’d think they’d give us a few days to ourselves after we saved the world. Damn politicians and reporters are circling like buzzards. I did what... I did what the plan called for though and sicced the lawyers and PR department on the lot of them. That bought us a bit of time. The reporters are going to want interviews soon, which falls on me and, God help us, Chuck. Assuming we can pry him away from Raleigh."

For a second, he thought he saw her eyes flicker. He waited for some other sign, letting out a sigh when there wasn’t.

"I don’t know how much anyone has told you. The boys are a little worse for wear but not too badly hurt. Raleigh’s the worse off with the damage to his shoulder. Doctors say it’ll heal up fine though. He’s not too thrilled about being confined to his hospital room for the next couple or so weeks. There’s some concern about his exposure to the kaiju universe but I think it’s all just precautionary at this point. The boys do have some news. I know they want to be the ones to tell you so mum’s the word. I will say it’s good news though. Great news. You need to work on getting better so Raleigh can come see you. Okay?"

Herc closed his eyes knowing he wasn’t fighting fair with his next words but he needed to get some kind of reaction from her, some sign that she was listening. Opening his eyes, he met her gaze straight on, clumsily petting her hair with his gloved hand.

"I know it hurts, Mako. I know you miss him. There’s an aching hole in your heart where Stacker should be. I wish I could tell you it’ll go away but it won’t. It’ll always be there. I can tell you it’ll get smaller, the pain a little less sharp as time goes by. The thing you need to remember is what he would want for you. Would he want you to give up or would he want you to fight?"

It broke his heart to see her eyes squeezed shut, tears streaming down pale cheeks. He hated it but he knew from experience that if she didn’t grieve she wouldn’t heal. Even more, he hated this damn suit that prevented him from doing more than pet her hair.

"Remember you’re not alone either. Okay? Me and the boys are here for you. We’ll always be here for you. You’re family, Mako. You’re family."

*** * ***

The morning of the memorial services dawned bright and sunny in stark contrast to the somber mood of the Shatterdome.

Herc watched in the bathroom mirror when Chuck came stumbling into their quarters, Max on his heels, at a quarter to eight. He had on the expression Mako had once called his grumpy koala face. Not that anyone would call him that. It was probably why he always looked so suspicious when Mako would start giggling behind her hand at him.

"Alright there, son?" Herc asked, continuing to shave with smooth steady strokes of his straight razor.

Chuck grunted in response then cursed when he tripped over one of Max’s toys. Scooping it up, he tossed it to the side, sending Max scrabbling after it. He dropped into a chair at their rickety little table, slumping across it and rested his head on an outstretched arm, not bothering to cover the yawn splitting his face.

"Long night?"

"Raleigh had a couple of nightmares then his insomnia kicked in," Chuck said, not lifting his head. "Stupid seppo tried to tell me I didn’t have to stay. Like I wouldn’t have just come running back the second I felt anything wrong."

"Not every alpha would. Even with a sprog on the way," Herc commented, watching Chuck’s reaction.

"Fucking fucker doesn’t deserve to be called a fucking alpha," Chuck growled, shoulders tensing before slowly relaxing again.

Herc quirked an eyebrow at that. Interesting. Definitely a story there. He didn’t ask, not wanting to get Chuck wound up before the services today. Bad enough he’d be separated from Raleigh most of the day when they hadn’t been more than ten feet from each other if it could be at all helped. Speaking of. "You going to be okay? Being separated so soon after bonding isn’t fun."

"Nah yeah. Just try and keep the stupid people away from me. Don’t wanna ruin my hero image by killing someone on the Darwin principle."

Herc snorted, shaking his head at Chuck’s grin. "You best be on good behavior. S-Stacker won’t be there to convince the suits and ties that we’re respectable sorts."

Dropping his gaze to the sink, he took a steadying breath while methodically cleaning the soap from his razor. He could feel Chuck’s eyes on him. Could almost feel the questions burning in him across the remnants of the Ghost Drift they shared. He didn’t push; didn’t know if he wanted to answer whatever those questions were.

"Did... Why didn’t you ever bond with the marshal? You would’ve been stationed together, able to share quarters instead of sneaking around like no one knew and was just looking the other way. It...it wasn’t because of me, was it? Because we were copilots?"

Herc paused then calmly finished wiping the soap from his face, tossing aside the towel when he was done. He moved into the doorway, leaning his good shoulder against the frame. Chuck was sitting up now, watching him, teeth worrying at his bottom lip.

"Wasn’t because of you. It was a mild concern but we figured you could put on your big boy panties if we decided to do it. And we did want to. Both of us wanted that connection to each other."

"Then why didn’t you?"

Herc sighed. This was not something he wanted to think about the day of Stacker’s memorial service. He’d have to answer Chuck some time though. "Because by the time we were both ready for it, we knew Stacker was dying. He refused to put me through the pain of losing another bondmate. And if I went first, there was a good chance the backlash would kill him. The program needed him too much to risk it."

Chuck nodded somberly. "I’m sorry, Dad."

"Me too, son." Herc cleared his throat, turning away to finish getting ready. "Get your dress on. Ceremony starts in an hour and I will tell everyone you’re the reason we’re late.”

Cheerfully flipping him off, Chuck got to his feet and headed to his room to put his dress uniform on.

Today was going to be a long day.

*** * ***

Herc smiled tightly in thanks at Chuck for steadying him as he climbed out of the chopper. Thankfully, spreading the Kaidonovskys’ ashes over the spot where they’d fallen had been the last part of the ceremonies.

The memorial service had been one interminable speech after another made, largely, by one political hypocrite after another. Then the Wei Tangs were buried according to local tradition as the hometown heroes they were. Last had been fulfilling Aleksis and Sasha’s final wishes. The Russian delegation had put up a stink but Herc had held fast. He’d be damned if he let some political bigwigs use his friends’ bodies to further an agenda when they’d left specific, long-standing instructions on what was to be done.

It was all over with now. The safety and quiet of the Shatterdome was in sight. They just had to pass by the crowd of reporters and onlookers being held back by security. He felt Chuck’s pace quicken beside him, eager to return to his bondmate. Herc grimaced when the reporters started shouting.

"Marshal Hansen! Ranger Hansen!"

Herc kept a hand on Chuck’s back, hoping to get them past the reporters without incident. It wasn’t likely but he could try.

"Marshal! Why aren’t Rangers Becket and Mori here today? Is it true Ranger Becket bonded before the drop? Did he bond with Ranger Mori? You’d think Mori at least would be here to mourn Marshal Pentecost."

"Don’t, Chuck," Herc growled, waving over Tendo and a couple of the senior techs from Striker’s crew. "Go see Raleigh, yeah? He’s probably watching on the telly."

Chuck glared at the reporters a moment, then gave a clipped nod to Herc. Scooping up Max into his arms, he stalked away, Tendo and the techs forming a sort of honor guard around him. Once Chuck was far enough away, Herc stepped closer to the barricade keeping back the press. He was a bit touched when techs from all the crews lined up behind him forming a united front.

"Oi! Listen up, you lot, because this is all I’m saying today and I’m not answering questions. Ranger Mori is not here because she is currently in quarantine due to radiation poisoning. She has other major injuries but the radiation is the doctors’ biggest concern right now. 

"Ranger Becket is also in quarantine due to radiation exposure though nothing as severe as Ranger Mori’s. As for his bonded status, yes, he has bonded. No, it is not with Ranger Mori. If he and his mate choose to reveal their status, that will be up to them.

"Please remember that we just lost six good Rangers and the rest of us are injured and mourning. Please allow us time to heal and grieve. There will be an official press conference in two days’ time. Until then, the PR department has informational packets that should answer some of your questions. G’day."

As soon as he turned, the techs shifted around him, acting as his own human-shaped wall of protection. "Thanks, mates," he muttered, returning the small smiles and nods he received.

The message was clear to all those watching. The Shatterdome protected their own.

*** * ***

Chuck grumbled but let himself be guided away from the stupid reporters. How dare they suggest Mako was Raleigh’s alpha! They’d Drifted once and it was a disaster. Chuck was the one who achieved 100% synchronicity with Raleigh and then took Gipsy into the Breach. Him and Raleigh. Not Mako. Raleigh was his bondmate. His, dammit.

"I get that you’re feeling territorial, Baby Hansen," Tendo’s voice cut through his thoughts, "but you’re squeezing poor Max to death."

Chuck immediately loosened his grip, looking down at his pup. Max gave him a doggy grin. "Sorry, Max," he muttered. Max wiggled in his arms until he could lick Chuck’s chin. Max always forgave him.

"That’s better," Tendo grinned. "Now you don’t look homicidal anymore. Well, any more than you usually do." 

"I do not look homicidal," Chuck growled.

"Of course not, kid."

"Fuck off, Elvis," Chuck huffed, relaxing as they neared the entrance to the Shatterdome. A few more minutes and he’d be back with Raleigh. His bondmate had been a constant supportive presence in the back of his mind as he’d endured the funerals and memorials. All he wanted to do now was crawl into bed and hold Raleigh tight.

"And then Baby Otachi just reared up and swallowed him whole! I still can’t believe he survived."

Zeroing in on Dr. Geiszler’s manic arm waving, Chuck grinned ferally.

"Oh, no. What’s that look for?" Tendo demanded, getting in his path. "Why do you have that look?"

"I don’t have a look." Chuck grinned wider. "Here. Hold Max. I need to have a chat with our resident kaiju groupie."

"What? Why? Hansen!" Tendo called after him, struggling not to drop Max.

Chuck ignored him, striding towards the gaggle of scientists with whom Dr. Geiszler was holding court. "Oi, Geiszler! Hold on a tic."

The group suddenly looked like deer in headlights then quickly scattered, deserting Dr. Geiszler who was making a ‘who me?’ gesture.

"Uh, Ranger Hansen, how-how can I, uh, help you?" he said when Chuck was close enough. "Hey, how’s Becket? I heard they have him in isolation. Do you get to see him cause that’s gotta be harsh on a new bond. Has he said anything about what it was like in the Anteverse? Did he see the kaiju masters? The ones who make them? Do you think he’d talk to me about what he saw? That would be so cool! And, you know, it would help our understanding of them and make sure they can’t, uh, come back. Because that would be bad. Really. And you’re glaring at me. Like seriously glaring. I’m gonna shut up now."

"Do you even breathe or did you develop gills when you tried to fry your brain Drifting with a kaiju?" Chuck demanded, slightly derailed from his original reason for approaching the jumpy little scientist.

"Uh, no? Not that I know of. It’s a talent I’ve always had?" Dr. Geiszler answered uncertainly.

"Eh, whatever. Raleigh’s fine. I’m with him most of the time. No idea if he’d be willing to talk to you but I’ll ask him if you do something for me," Chuck said, folding his arms over his chest and looming.

"I-I guess. What do you need?"

"I want you to setup a meeting for me with your kaiju parts dealing buddy." 

"C-Chau? But why? I didn’t think you’d be interested in kaiju parts."

"Can you do it or not?" Chuck asked, looming over him more. Chuck had zero interest in alien intestines. What he was interested in was revenge on a certain alpha and this Chau was his best bet for getting it. He gave Geiszler a shark’s grin when the man nodded vigorously.

"Y-yeah. I can do that. Sure. Just, uh, give me a couple days, okay? I got a thing tomorrow but I can head over the day after, okay? Chau doesn’t, uh, he doesn’t like doing things over the phone, y’know?"

"Whatever," Chuck sneered. He really didn’t care how mob bosses preferred to conduct their business. "Just get me that meet and I’ll talk to Raleigh for you."

Another vigorous nod and Chuck turned to go but turned back at a thought.

"You tell no one about this or I will find a way to open the Breach and stuff you through it in pieces. Get me?"

"Loud and clear."

"Good." Chuck clapped him on the shoulder, almost knocking him over. He rejoined Tendo, who watched him suspiciously and took Max from him. "Such a good boy," he cooed to his dog, scrunching his ears and rubbing the sweet spot right behind them before he put Max on the ground, leash firmly in hand. "C’mon, boy. Let’s go see Raleigh, yeah?"

"Do I even want to know what that was all about, Baby Hansen?" Tendo asked, falling into step with him, hands shoved into the pockets of his suit jacket.

"No worries, Elvis. He wants to talk to Raleigh about what he saw in the Breach. Told him I’d ask but no promises."

"Uh-huh."

Chuck relaxed a little when Tendo didn’t push. He wasn’t ashamed of what he was planning, far from it, but he did prefer the fewer people who knew about it the better. Plausible deniability and all that rot.

Inside the Shatterdome, they went their separate ways, Chuck heading to his quarters and Tendo to LOCCENT. In his room, Chuck quickly stripped out of his uniform and into more comfortable clothes. He grabbed the engineering text he’d started reading what felt like a lifetime ago and whistled for Max. In the hallway, he debated for a second then headed to Raleigh’s quarters. He wouldn’t bring everything, just a couple of items to give his mate some measure of comfort.

Thankfully, the nurses let everything through decontamination. Once inside, he dumped it all on a side table on his way to Raleigh’s side. Cupping his face, Chuck kissed him long and hard, plundering his lips with fierce possessiveness. Raleigh responded without hesitation, opening himself completely to Chuck. His good hand wrapped around the back of Chuck’s neck, carding through the short hair there, fingernails lightly scratching at his skin.

They were both breathless with want they couldn’t currently do anything about when they finally pulled apart. Raleigh’s fingers rubbed soothingly even as he projected love and assurance and his own possessiveness through the bond.

"I’m yours, Chuck. Bondmate. Copilot. Yours. No one else’s."

"Mine," he agreed with a light growl. "And I’m yours. No one else’s. Just didn’t like them suggesting otherwise."

"I know. When I’m out of here, the first interview we do, we’ll tell the world we’re bondmates. Everyone will know. Kay?"

"Good," Chuck muttered, kissing him again.

"Mm, as much as I like this, pick up Max so he doesn’t whine and get your ass in this bed. You’ve been away from me too long."

"Yes, sir," he grinned, stealing another kiss before doing as he was told. Max waited patiently at the foot of the bed for them to get sorted. They finally settled down with Raleigh leaning back against Chuck’s chest, his head resting against Chuck’s jaw, with Max lying at their side. If this position allowed Chuck to wrap his arm around Raleigh, his hand resting possessively on his mate’s stomach, well, it was just a convenient spot. That’s all.


	16. Chapter 16

"Knock, knock."

Raleigh looked up from his book, smiling at Tendo standing in the doorway. "Hey! Come in, man."

"I see Hansen left Max to play guard dog for him," Tendo laughed, putting down the tablet he was carrying to rub Max’s belly. The bulldog was splayed across the foot of the bed, legs in the air. Raleigh laughed.

"Chuck had to go for more x-rays for his ribs but, yeah, Max is keeping me company. He’s a good buddy. Ain’t ya, boy?"

Max woofed, wiggling under Tendo’s hand. Dropping down into the visitor’s chair, he picked up Raleigh’s book. "Wow. _Moby Dick_. You must be really bored. Melville was always more..." He paused seeing the name written inside the front cover. “Kid."

"Yeah. It was a way of remembering him," Raleigh said, picking at the sheets and shrugging. He grimaced at the pull on his injured shoulder. "It’s all I have right now. That or this book on mechanical engineering Chuck’s reading."

"Yeah," Tendo chuckled. "You never were very good with the theory part on that stuff. Too much of a hands on kind of guy." He waggled his eyebrows.

"Shut up or I’ll tell Alison about some of your dates before her."

"Sorry, my man, but that ship has sailed. She knows everything. However, because I am an awesome friend, I come bearing gifts." He picked up the tablet and activated it before handing it over. "This bad boy has access to every movie, TV show, and book stored on the Shatterdome servers. Which is a lot. I also," he leaned forward to change the screens then double-tapped an icon, “installed that language game you loved when you broke your leg back in ‘19. There’s like 50 languages on there so there should be something you don’t know."

"That’s great, man," Raleigh smiled at the tablet then Tendo. "This should really help. The doctors are saying another two to three weeks before they let me out of here. They figure if anything’s going to... to happen because of, you know, the Breach it should show up by then."

"That’s a bit paranoid, isn’t it? I mean, I can understand wanting to keep an eye on things but isolation like this? Isn’t that a bit extreme?"

Raleigh bit his lip staring at the tablet, debating if it was worth the risk. Tendo was his oldest friend.

"Raleigh?"

"It is a little extreme but it’s, uh, it’s not just me they’re worried about. You can’t tell anyone what I’m about to tell you. Only me, Chuck, Herc and the doctors know. We don’t want any crazy rumors flying around."

"You know you can trust me, Raleigh. What could be so bad though? It’s not like you’re going to tell me you’re pregnant with a kaiju baby.” Tendo’s eyes widened. “Are you?"

"Thank you for that horrifying thought," Raleigh glared at him. "I’m not pregnant with a kaiju baby but I am, uh, pregnant."

Tendo stared at him, slack-jawed. 

After several seconds of silence, Raleigh began to fidget. After another minute, he got angry. "Would you say something? And stop staring at me. I’m not going to turn into some kind of freak show."

"No! Sorry. I-I didn’t mean to stare. I don’t think that," Tendo stumbled over himself to explain. "You surprised me is all. Congratulations! Really. It is congratulations, right? It’s Chuck’s right? Please tell me it’s Chuck’s."

"Yes, it’s Chuck’s. I haven’t been with anyone else."

"That’s good then. Uh," his gaze dropped to Raleigh’s stomach then back to his face. "Sorry if this is a sore subject but I thought you couldn’t have kids?"

"So did I. Turns out the doctor who told me I was hadn’t bothered to do a proper physical and just assumed I was because I hadn’t gone into heat in awhile. Long, complicated story that I don’t entirely get but the gist of it is since I miscarried while in the Drift my hormones never really got the message that I wasn’t pregnant anymore. Basically my heat cycle was put on hold for the last five years."

"What got it going again?"

"Drifting with Mako and then Chuck."

"Makes sense," Tendo nodded. "Wait. Does that mean you were pregnant before you went into the Breach? No wonder the doctors are being paranoid. I’m surprised you didn’t miscarry with everything that happened."

"I am too," Raleigh sighed, his hand curling protectively over his flat stomach. "This baby is a miracle in a lot of ways. It’ll kill me if anything goes wrong."

"Hey, don’t think like that, Raleigh," Tendo put his hand over Raleigh’s, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "You said it yourself. This baby is a miracle. Everything will be fine." 

"I really hope so."

"I know it will. Hey, do I get to be the godfather?"

Raleigh laughed. If there were a couple of tears in the corners of his eyes, neither of them mentioned it.

*** * ***

"You’re not even listening to a bloody word I’m saying, are you, Mori?" Chuck said, abruptly cutting off the description of possible upgrades to Striker’s joint design that he’d been rambling about for the last hour. She’d stared at the wall the entire time, never acknowledging his words or his presence.

"So that’s it then? I’ve been coming here every day for the last five days since the funerals and it’s always the same. You just lay there like a bloody lump while Dad and Raleigh worry themselves into ulcers? You’re just going to let yourself waste away until your body just up and dies? Should we have just buried you with the others? Is that it?" He glared at her, willing her to look at him. Her gaze never moved.

"You really are a selfish little bitch. You think you’re the only one who lost someone? The only one who feels lost now that the kaiju are gone? You built a fucking jaeger, Mori. There are things for you to do. You need to man the fuck up and start getting better," he hissed in her face. No response.

Growling, Chuck pushed out of the chair and stomped to the door. He paused there, turning just enough so he could see her.

"I’ll never forgive you if you let yourself die, Mori."

He yanked the door open, remembering at the last minute to disconnect the air hose from the wall, then slammed it shut behind him. He didn’t see her gaze flicker towards the door or the single tear slip from her eye.

By the time he was on the other side of the decontamination airlock, Chuck was struggling to hold onto his temper. Raleigh’s concern filled the bond making things worse rather than better. He sent back as much reassurance as he could, knowing it wasn’t enough. Chuck glared at the nurse who stood there watching him seethe.

"Get this fucking thing off me before I tear it off."

She shook her head but moved forward to help him anyway. The second he was free of it, he took a deep breath.

"Thank you," he bit out then, not being a complete social incompetent, softened his voice. "Can you tell Raleigh I went for a walk? I don’t want him to worry."

"Not a problem, Ranger Hansen," she smiled, storing the suit.

Chuck nodded and hurried from the room. One thing you could count on was the utter soft spot the Medical staff all seemed to have for his bondmate. Even if he was starting to turn into a cranky bastard, going stir-crazy being confined to his room.

Striding through the Shatterdome hallways, Chuck tried to think of anything other than the situation with Mako. It didn’t work. Everything just kept circling back to her. She’d given up the will to live and it was killing Herc and Raleigh.

He couldn’t decide which of them was taking it harder. Both of them had Drifted with her even if the one with Raleigh had been a disaster. Herc was able to visit her every day, watching her slowly waste away. Losing her so soon after the marshal, losing her like this would wreck Herc.

Confined to his bed, Raleigh didn’t get to see her. He only had secondhand accounts from him and Herc, the nurses, and Tendo who’d been by a couple of times to visit. Chuck could feel Raleigh worrying himself into a stew even now and felt helpless to stop it. It wasn’t good for Raleigh or for the baby but how do you tell someone to stop worrying about a dying friend? Chuck knew he could be insensitive sometimes but he wasn’t that insensitive.

Finding himself in the mess hall, he grabbed a couple of easy-to-carry items thinking to head up to the Shatterdome roof. The access hatch was located behind Striker’s bay so he rarely had to worry about anyone joining him.

"Chuck!" Herc’s voice rang out across the mess hall. Chuck spotted his father and several techs from Striker’s crew sitting at a table across the room. He made his way over, dropping down into the empty seat across from his father, nodding his greetings. He picked at the cellophane wrapped around the sandwich he’d grabbed, growling in frustration when he couldn’t find the edge to get it open.

"She’s not getting better," he said, putting aside the mangled sandwich. He grabbed Herc’s knife instead, using it to cut his apple into slices. 

"She’s had a hard time of it, son."

"We’ve all had a hard time of it. She’s just lying there like a bloody lump." He grimaced at his word choice but didn’t apologize. Chuck blinked when his sandwich appeared next to him unwrapped. Looking up, he realized he was sitting beside Sylvia and Mara. "Thanks."

"No problem, kiddo."

He pulled apart the sandwich, picking out the wilted lettuce and tossed it aside. He put it back together and took a bite, chewing for a moment. He swiped at his mouth with the back of his hand.

"What the hell are we going to do about Mori?" he demanded of his father.

"She’s grieving, Chuck," Herc sighed, putting down his fork to rub tiredly at his face.

"Boo fucking hoo. We’re all grieving. We’ve all lost someone. You don’t see any of us just laying down and dying like a whiny little–"

"Chuck," Herc snapped, cutting him off. "That’s enough."

Chuck glared but wisely kept his mouth shut. For about thirty seconds. "Raleigh is worrying himself sick over her. Dr. Ting refuses to let him out of isolation for at least another two weeks. They want to be sure nothing," he cut himself off, slanting a quick look at Sylvia and Mara. They hadn’t told anyone about the baby yet. "They want to be sure nothing from the Breach affected him. She threatened to cuff him to the bed if she caught him trying to workout again."

"Could be fun," Mara wiggled her eyebrows, making Sylvia swat her. She grinned at Herc’s look of pain.

"Shove off," Chuck grumbled. "Your mate isn’t driving themself bonkers with worry."

Mara grimaced. "Sorry, kiddo."

"I wish I could say everything will be fine but I won’t lie to you," Sylvia said gently grasping his wrist. "You can’t make someone want to live. All you can do is be strong. For Miss Mori and for your bondmate."

He grimaced but nodded. He just hated felling so helpless. He felt like he was failing Raleigh by not being able to help Mako get better. Even more he hated the way the light dimmed in Raleigh’s eyes every time he had to tell him Mako wasn’t getting better.

Sylvia patted his arm as she stood up, Mara following suit. "We need to get going. Promised the kids we’d Skype them at one. If you need anything just let us know, Charlie. You boys are family."

Chuck started to nod then paused. "Skype?"

"Video chat over the computer?" Mara replied uncertainly.

"Video," Chuck muttered, frowning.

"Yeah. Been around for awhile?" Mara shared a glance with Herc and Sylvia. Chuck ignored them turning the idea over in his head. Realizing it could work, he scrambled to his feet with a grin.

"I am a genius. Cheers!" He ran out of the mess hall, leaving them bewildered. He needed to see Dr. Ting and Tendo.

Three hours later, he’d gathered everything he needed. Stepping back into Mako’s room, he really hoped this worked. Raleigh had lit up at the idea when he’d explained it. Chuck took a deep breath, plugged in his air hose then the power cord for the laptop he was carrying. He moved the chair he usually sat in until it was directly in her line of sight then placed the laptop on it but kept it turned away from her.

"Alright, Mori. I’ve got someone here who wants to talk to you and if you want them to go away you’re going to have to actually move because I’m not turning the laptop off for you." He sighed when she continued to lie there like a broken toy. With a look at the screen and his waiting mate’s apprehensive face, Chuck steeled himself. He turned the laptop around so the two could see each other. Chuck bit his lip at the heartbreak he felt in the bond and heard in Raleigh’s voice.

"Oh, Mako-chan."

She blinked once, twice, then for the first time since he started visiting, Chuck watched her eyes focus on something. They immediately filled with tears, her lips moved shaping words but no sound emerged. When she swallowed with a grimace, Chuck realized the problem. He grabbed the pitcher of water and the plastic cup the nurses replenished everyday, almost knocking them over in his haste. He got the cup filled and brought it to her, pressing the straw to her lips while he held the cup.

Chuck glanced at the laptop, grinning at Raleigh’s beaming face as she sipped at the water. After a moment, she moved her uninjured hand enough to push at his arm. He pulled the cup away but held onto it just in case.

"Let me know if you want more, yeah?"

"Thank you," she said, her voice dry and crackling as leaves in late autumn. She was talking though. Chuck resisted the urge to crow in triumph. Instead, he pulled up the second chair to listen to them speak. He didn’t even mind when they lapsed into Japanese. Despite Mako’s attempts to teach him, Chuck had never managed to learn more than the basics. Languages had never been his thing.

"Congratulations, Chuck."

Her soft words drew him out of his own thoughts to grin at her. "Rals told you about the sprog then?"

"Mm hmm."

"Means you gotta get better then, yeah? Our sprogs are gonna need Aunt Mako to make sure we don’t traumatize them, or some such. Cause seriously? Me, Raleigh, and Herc raising kids? No way we don’t mess them up. What if we have a girl?" Chuck froze, eyes widening in panic at the thought. "Fucking hell, Raleigh. What if we have a girl? I don’t know what to do with a girl. She’s not dating. Ever."

Raleigh’s loud guffaws and Mako’s raspy chuckles did little to reassure him.

*** * ***

Watching Mako sleep for a minute, Raleigh smiled at the improvements he could already see in her condition. She still had a long way to go and tired easily but she no longer looked like she was a very short step away from death’s door. Color had returned to her skin and her eyes were full of life. The rest would come in time. Feeling like he’d started to enter creeper territory, he turned off the program and put the tablet aside. Catching sight of Yancy’s picture on the wall, he let out a soft sigh. Times like these, he really wished his big brother was here. He wanted to be able to talk to him, tell him about everything and have Yancy tell him they’d be fine. Yancy’d grin and tell him they were Beckets and they could do anything.

Raleigh steeled himself, waiting for the onslaught of memories that always came when he thought about Yancy.

And waited.

And waited.

Sucking in a ragged breath, Raleigh curled in on himself, a pit opening in his stomach. 

He couldn’t hear Yancy.

Pain lanced through his chest, suffocating him. He pressed a hand to his heart and to his head.

He couldn’t hear Yancy.

For five years, Yancy had been a constant voice in his head. He couldn’t touch him, couldn’t comfort himself with his alpha brother’s strong presence. But he’d been able to hear him, had always known he was still loved by someone. He was gone now.

He couldn’t hear Yancy.

From a distance, he could hear a keening wail accompanied by high-pitched beeps screaming their warning. Voices, unfamiliar and unwanted, shouted over him. Hands grabbed at him, holding him down as he lashed out at them. Suddenly they were gone, replaced by strong familiar arms gathering him close. A familiar scent smelling of home and security surrounded him. He clutched at the familiar body pressed tightly to his. A familiar voice whispered comfort in his ear, slowly drowning out everything else. It wasn’t Yancy’s voice, the accent and sound were wrong, but it was close enough.

Love, sorrow, sympathy, and protectiveness filled Raleigh. He let himself sink into it, drawing those feelings around him like a security blanket shutting out the world. His breath hitched as one thought followed him into unconsciousness.

He couldn’t hear Yancy.

*** * ***

Chuck slowly let himself relax when Raleigh slumped bonelessly against him, breaths evening out into a steady rhythm. His own heart still pounded in his chest from the whole ordeal, his hands continuously carding through Raleigh’s hair in a soothing gesture.

He’d been in the conference room attached to Herc’s office, bored to tears by paperwork with Raleigh’s contentment a pleasant hum at the back of his mind. Being confined to the hospital room for three weeks had been wearing on Raleigh but being able to see and talk to Mako had helped some. Tendo had asked Chuck recently if he resented Raleigh’s obvious feelings for Mako. Chuck had looked at him like he was nuts. Resenting Mako would be like resenting Yancy, and Chuck wasn’t so self-centered he needed 100% of his bondmate’s love and attention all the time.

The sudden burst of grief and distress lancing through him had Chuck on his feet and racing out the door before it had truly registered. He vaguely recalled saying Raleigh’s name at his father’s shout of concern after him. From the emotions he was getting from Raleigh, he’d assumed Mori had taken a turn for the worse and yet when he burst into Medical all the activity was centered around Raleigh’s room, not hers.

Chuck shouldered his way through the crowd, growling at anyone who tried to get in the way. Reaching Raleigh’s room, a red haze clouded his vision at the sight of orderlies trying to restrain his keening mate while doctors and nurses shouted incomprehensible medical jargon at each other. 

Pushing a nurse out of the way, he’d grabbed the two orderlies closest to him, yanking them away from his bondmate. He bared his teeth at the third, a low growl rumbling in his chest. The man wisely removed his hands from Raleigh and took a couple steps back. The moment he was free, Raleigh curled up into a ball, as much as his injuries allowed, still keening.

Chuck climbed onto the bed, gently gathering Raleigh into his arms and rocking him. Crooning soothingly, Chuck eased open the fingers clutched in Raleigh’s hair, wrapping his own around them.

"I’ve got you, love. I’ve got you," Chuck soothed even as he glared balefully at the people still cluttering the room. Dr. Ting and his father got the idea, quickly ushering everyone out until it was just the four of them. Raleigh’s keening had eased off into heartbreaking sobs, his face buried against Chuck’s chest. Chuck started to growl again when Dr. Ting approached with a needle.

"It’s a very mild sedative," she said, undaunted by him, pushing up the sleeve of Raleigh’s t-shirt to get to his bicep. "Just enough to calm him down. He’ll probably fall asleep but it shouldn’t be long before he wakes back up. This level of stress isn’t good for him or the baby."

Chuck gritted his teeth, swallowing back his protest as he cradled Raleigh tighter to him. The sobs slowly tapered off until with one last hitched breath, he felt Raleigh go boneless against him, his breathing slow and even. Once he was certain Raleigh was fully asleep, Chuck leveled a glare at Ting.

"What the hell happened?" he demanded. "Is Mori alright?"

"We don’t–" Ting blinked, tilting her head a little at the second question. "Ranger Mori’s condition continues to improve. She’s had no significant setbacks recently. Why?"

"Because one minute he’s all happy contentment and the next it feels like someone died. He’s usually talking to Mori this time of the day so... If it’s not her though…" Chuck sighed, his gaze landing on the copy of _Moby Dick_ that had fallen to the floor and been kicked aside in the melee. "What’s that doing on the floor? Raleigh’ll freak if it’s been damaged."

"Important to him then?" Herc stooped to pick it up, wiping off any dirt on his pants leg.

"Could say that seeing’ as it’s... Buggering fuck. What’s today’s date? No. Never mind. It’s still January. It can’t be that."

"Can’t be what, son?" Herc carefully placed the book on the side table where Raleigh would easily find it.

"Anniversary of Anchorage," he said, instinctively covering Raleigh’s ear with his hand as if he was awake to hear them. "He..." Chuck pressed his lips together uncertain of how much to say, how much did they really need to know without Raleigh’s consent. "S’ not my place to say much but he never really let Yancy go. Hard to when you’re still Ghost Drifting, I suppose."

"Chuck, you can’t Ghost Drift with... with a ghost," Herc said patiently, as if he was some noob recruit who didn’t know a jaeger from a hole in the ground. "It’s not possible."

"Right, _Dad_ , and you’ve had how many copilots die on you mid-Drift?" Chuck glared. "I didn’t say he was actually Ghost Drifting with Yancy’s ghost. Said he was Ghost Drifting. Maybe chasing the RABIT is a better way of putting it. It’s…it’s just that he’s got some of Yancy’s memories mixed in with his and you don’t know they’re Yancy’s until Raleigh’s looking at himself in the memory or someone calls him Yancy."

"Christ, that’s..."

"Yeah," he agreed when Herc trailed off. "Don’t know if that’s got anything to with today though. What would’ve set him off like that if Mori is fine?"

"We won’t know until he wakes and we’ve had a chance to speak with him," Dr. Ting answered, making notes on Raleigh’s chart. "I am, in the meantime, going to schedule him for a round of CAT scans, EKGs, and EEGs. While we have the scans from Marshal Pentecost after he solo-piloted, we have very little from Raleigh. They were also different circumstances. Raleigh is the only pilot to survive the death of his copilot in the Drift and that makes him very unique."

"Oi, you’re not turning him into some kind of lab rat," Chuck growled.

"Has anything I’ve done led you to believe that I have anything other than the health and well-being of your bondmate and child in mind?" she asked, one eyebrow raised.

Feeling like a scolded schoolboy and refusing to show it, he glared, shaking his head. "Best you keep it that way."

"Chuck," Herc sighed. 

Dr. Ting just laughed, patting Herc’s arm as she passed. "He’s not the first overprotective alpha I’ve dealt with and he won’t be the last. I’ll be back in a few hours. Have a nurse find me if he wakes before then."

"Yes, ma’am," Herc replied when Chuck didn’t. 

Keeping one eye on his father as he dropped into the visitor’s chair, Chuck carefully rearranged Raleigh so he was lying more comfortably on Chuck. He made sure there was no pressure on the damaged shoulder then tugged at the blanket tangled around Raleigh’s legs.

"Thanks," he muttered, glaring sulkily when Herc helped him. The glare kicked up a notch at Herc’s huff of laughter. "What’s so funny, old man?"

"Don’t call me that," he grumbled without heat. "Nothing’s funny. Just looking at myself twenty-odd years ago. Used to fuss over your mum like this when she was pregnant."

"Surprised you were around for any of it." Chuck looked at him from the corner of his eye, fussing with the blanket around Raleigh’s shoulders.

"Except for two weeks and the occasional weekend, I was there for the whole thing. When you were born, I was the first person after the doctor to hold you. I’ll never forget that moment, holding this tiny little miracle your mum and I had made. Best day of my life."

Chuck looked away, clearing his throat as he did so, determined not let Herc see how much he’d affected him. He didn’t know how to respond. It’s not like they ever talked about this stuff. They hadn’t talked about Chuck’s mum at all in six years. Even then it had been part of an argument. In the end, he decided to avoid the conversation altogether.

"You don’t have to stay. He’s just gonna sleep for awhile."

"I don’t mind. Seeing him like that... ‘Sides, being here gets me out of that damn paperwork."

"You need to find yourself a real assistant. Not me and Tendo. You’re lucky any of it’s right with us working on it."

"Once things are a bit more settled, I’ll look into it. Things are too up in the air right now. I’m not going to hire someone just to have to fire them if it doesn’t go the way we hope."

"Or a proper assistant could make sure it all gets done right so it does go the way we want. I’ve got a sprog on the way and we need to make sure I’ve still got a job."

Herc rolled his eyes. "I’ll talk to Tendo later about it, yeah? You just don’t want to do the paperwork either, ya brat."

"Too right," Chuck agreed.

*** * ***

Raleigh sighed sleepily, rubbing his face against Chuck’s chest. His brain felt fuzzy and sluggish, and it took him a bit to parse out why. Normally he went from asleep to wide-awake. He only felt like this after he’d been sedated or heavily medicated for some reason. It took him a few more minutes to put together why he’d been sedated.

Yancy.

Grief filled him anew and he curled into his bondmate, fingers clenched in the fabric of his t-shirt. Strong arms wrapped tightly around him, holding him close. He was grateful for the silent support. Concern and love tempered by curiosity filtered through the bond yet Chuck didn’t give voice to any of the questions he clearly had, allowing Raleigh to gather himself. When he no longer felt overwhelmed, Raleigh pulled back to meet Chuck’s worried gaze.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Hey," Chuck replied, wiping at a few stray tears on Raleigh’s cheeks. "What’s going on, Rals? Mori’s fine. That was the first thing I checked after making sure you were okay. What happened?"

Swallowing thickly, Raleigh looked away, unsure of what to say without sounding like he was crazy. Maybe he was crazy. Chuck had been in his head though; he’d seen the times he couldn’t tell what was him and what was Yancy. He’d seen the way he could get lost in a memory or the times he really thought Yancy was right beside him only to turn and find nothing.

"Raleigh?"

"I can’t hear Yancy anymore," he admitted. 

Chuck’s sharp intake of breath said he understood and Raleigh relaxed. 

Herc speaking had him tensing again, not having realized he was there. "What do you mean by you can’t hear Yancy?" Herc asked gently, the underlying hint of steel indicating he wouldn’t back down on this.

Raleigh sighed, shifting with Chuck’s help until he was in a sitting position. He didn’t want to be lying down for this. He needed to feel like he had some kind of control. Taking a deep breath then letting it out slowly, he explained what the past five years had been like with Yancy living in his head.

Herc was quiet the entire time, watching and listening to him intently. The only time he showed any reaction was a tightening of his jaw when Raleigh admitted to repeatedly hearing the marshal blame him for Yancy’s death. At the end, Herc’s gaze dropped to the floor as he rubbed a hand over his face.

Feeling like he was waiting for some kind of verdict from Herc, Raleigh picked at the blanket covering his lap until Chuck laced their fingers together, pressing a reassuring kiss to his shoulder. He smiled gratefully though the smile quickly slid away into uncertainty. 

Finally Herc looked up again, taking Raleigh aback at the sadness he saw there. "I’m sorry, Raleigh."

"I, uh," he darted a quick look at Chuck who was just as baffled. "Thank you? But why are you sorry?"

"Because someone should be. You shouldn’t have had to go through any of that alone. And I’m sorry for that. You’re not alone anymore."

"Thank you."

"All that said, I’m not a doctor, but when was the last time you remember hearing Yancy?"

"Uh, when Chuck and I first Drifted, the first rush of memories. Before that I think was maybe when we were in LOCCENT during the harbor battle? I don’t really remember. Why?"

"But you do remember hearing him after you Drifted with Mako?"

"Yeah, definitely," Raleigh said, burning with curiosity now. It only increased when Herc nodded as if to himself, grimacing slightly. “Herc?"

"We don’t know as much about the Drift as we like to think we do. We really don’t know near enough about what happens when one person dies in the Drift and their partner doesn’t. I... It’s possible you bonding with Chuck might be why you’re not hearing your brother anymore," Herc said in a rush, like ripping off a band-aid. Raleigh stared at Herc, a slew of emotions rushing through him so fast he barely had a chance to recognize most of them. 

"Okay," Raleigh finally said, squeezing Chuck’s hand to reassure him. It didn’t really work.

"That’s it? Okay?" Chuck demanded. "He tells you bonding with me is the reason you can’t hear your brother anymore and all you say is okay?"

"Chuck." Herc started but stopped at Raleigh’s raised hand.

"There really isn’t much else to say, Chuck. Do you want me to get mad at you? Is that what you want? It’s not going to happen. Yancy is gone. He’s been... He’s been dead for five years. I can’t hold on to him forever. Am I going to miss hearing him? Of course but at the same time no. I’ve been hearing, feeling him die over and over and over again all these years. I don’t want to feel that anymore. If I have to chose between hearing my brother’s voice or our bond, our baby," he rested their joined hands on his stomach. "If I have to make that choice then I’m going to choose you, Chuck. I will choose you every single time.

"Sappy bastard," Chuck muttered hoarsely, framing Raleigh’s face with his hands as he leaned in to kiss him. "I suppose that means I’ve gotta choose you too?"

Raleigh chuckled wetly, pretending he didn’t see the sheen of tears in Chuck’s eyes. "You already did. No getting rid of me now."

"Too right, love."

Neither of them noticed Herc slip quietly from the room, a bittersweet smile curving his lips.

*** * ***

Herc paused in the doorway of Raleigh’s room, watching the younger man curled up morosely on the bed as he talked quietly to Mako through the computer. It had been a couple of days now since the breakdown and, according to Chuck, Raleigh hadn’t recovered from it at all. Seeing him now, Herc had to agree he wasn’t bouncing back. He knew Dr. Ting had located a therapist she approved of who dealt specifically with grief counseling and PTSD, but it would be another couple of days before they arrived.

Letting out a soft sigh, he knocked on the doorframe as he walked in. Without thinking on it too much, he sat on the edge of the hospital bed by Raleigh’s hip. He gently cupped his head in a comforting gesture Chuck hadn’t allowed him to do in years.

"How’re you doing, son?"

"I’m okay," he shrugged. Herc saw Mako shaking her head on the screen out of the corner of his eye. "It’s... I miss him. I know he’s been gone for five years but it feels like I’ve lost him all over again."

"You did." He shrugged when Raleigh looked at him. "In a way. From what you said there was still part of him with you so you grieved for him but you didn’t have to completely let him go. Now you do and it hurts."

"I want it to stop hurting," Raleigh sighed. "I want to just be happy for once."

"I know. It gets easier and you’ve got the sprog on the way. Happiness’ll come."

Herc waited as Raleigh contemplated this. He wasn’t prepared when Raleigh suddenly sat up, wrapping his good arm around Herc’s waist in a hug, his head nestled beneath Herc’s chin. Herc froze uncertainly. The only person he’d touched beyond a brief pat or handshake in the last few years had been Stacker. He looked desperately at Mako. She looked pointedly back.

Slowly, he put his arms around Raleigh’s shoulders, hugging him back. Unbidden, the memory of meeting Raleigh and Yancy in Manila all those years ago came back to him. They’d constantly touched each other: hugs and pats, brief touches to get attention, and mock wrestling when they squabbled. It occurred to him that Raleigh must be touch-starved at this point. It certainly explained Chuck’s almost pathological need to be in constant contact with Raleigh whenever they were near each other. Herc held him a little tighter when Raleigh relaxed completely into him.

"Oi, something I need to know about?"

Herc’s eyes snapped to the doorway to see Chuck walking in, half a dozen drink boxes marked chocolate milk in his hands. They were dumped on a side table as Chuck frowned at him. Before he could come up with a suitable response, Raleigh held out his hand to Chuck.

"Come here."

Chuck’s frown intensified even as he shifted forward a little. "I don’t know how you talked the old man into it but we don’t do hugs, Rals."

"Please?" Raleigh continued to hold out his hand. Chuck wavered but gave in. It was quite possibly the most awkward hug ever as Chuck wrapped one arm around Raleigh then tentatively put the other around Herc. Just as tentatively, Herc did the same. For the first time in ten years father and son hugged each other.

Realizing he wasn’t likely to get another opportunity like this any time soon, Herc cleared his throat. "I know I’m not good at saying it..."

"No, don’t," Chuck started to pull away but Herc held tight. "I know, Dad. I know."

"Doesn’t mean I shouldn’t say it," he said gruffly. "I love you, son. Always have. Always will. I’m proud of you."

At Chuck’s choked off sob, Raleigh shifted so Chuck could bury himself in his father’s arms, clinging to him in a way he hadn’t done since he was a child.

"I love you too, Dad," he whispered. Herc’s eyes were suspiciously damp as he pressed a kiss to Chuck’s head.

Staying pressed against them, Raleigh turned so that he could press his fingertips to Mako’s face on the laptop screen. It was the best he could do to include her. She smiled pressing her fingers to the screen on her side.

They might be a little broken but they were family.

*** * ***

"Am I late?" Herc asked, hurrying into Raleigh’s hospital room. The quarantine had been lifted after Raleigh’s breakdown but he was still confined to bed until Dr. Ting decided the baby was healthy. They were all hoping that would be today.

"And what if you are, old man? What’s so important you’d miss the first chance to see your grandsprog?"

"Dr. Ting is getting the ultrasound machine now," Raleigh assured him, pinching Chuck’s thigh, making him yelp.

"Cheers, Raleigh," Herc smiled, finding a spot next to Chuck where he wouldn’t be in the doctor’s way but could still see. Max lay on Raleigh’s other side pressed against his hip. "I couldn’t get the bloody PM off the conference call."

"How are things progressing?" Mako asked from the laptop screen.

"Good. Really good. We’ve got full support from Hong Kong, Australia, Japan, and the Philippines. Russia, Peru, Argentina, and Panama are tentative but looking good. China and the US are bitching about who owns what. The lawyers Stacker had found are doing a good job of shutting them down on those points. Apparently it was in the PPDC charter that the Corps retained all patents and intellectual rights to technologies and advancements concerning jaegers and Drift technology made by our scientists so it’s their own faults really."

"Does that mean it’s going to happen?" Chuck asked.

"Have to wait for the UN vote next month," Herc said. "We’ve got public support, that video interview you boys did the other day helped a lot, and if we can prove ourselves financially viable..." Herc shrugged. "Hong Kong, Australia, and Japan have already deeded us the land the Shatterdomes are sitting on and given them foreign embassy status. If it all works out we’ll be a sovereign nation by the end of March."

"We’re going to start building jaegers again?" Chuck practically vibrated at the thought.

"Eventually," Herc nodded. "We’ll restore some of the decommissioned ones first. Echo Saber and Vulcan Specter are already on their way here from Australia. Thanks to some private funders, the paperwork is almost finished to release Coyote Tango and Horizon Brave from Oblivion Bay. Restoration will be geared towards deep-sea scientific exploration, ocean salvage, and even search and rescue." He nodded towards Raleigh. "A jaeger can go out in weather that choppers can’t."

"It can beat the hurricane," Raleigh said quietly, smiling sadly. He brightened when Chuck pressed a kiss to the side of his head.

"Alright, gentlemen," Dr. Ting said pushing the equipment laden cart in ahead of her. "And lady," she nodded to Mako. "Ready to see your baby?"

"Yes, definitely," Raleigh said, sitting up straighter. No one pointed out the white-knuckled grip he had on Chuck’s hand. 

She smiled, setting everything up before turning to Raleigh with a large squeeze bottle of gel. "Lift up your shirt, please, and push down your pants a little. Perfect. This may be a little cold."

Raleigh sucked in a breath at the cold gel hitting his stomach. He grimaced when she used the ultrasound wand to smear it around. Finally, she held it pressed in one place, turning to the machine itself and making a couple of adjustments. The screen lit up with a grainy image that didn’t look like anything. She shifted the wand a bit.

A collective gasp went through the room as the distinctive image of a baby appeared. Raleigh let out a choked sob, his grip on Chuck tightening further. Chuck didn’t protest, just leaned into him, pressing their heads together.

They all watched Dr. Ting as she studied the image, waiting for a verdict. To their untrained eyes, the baby looked completely normal. Then again, with the exception of Herc, none of them had ever really paid attention to what a baby should look like at this stage of development.

Chuck finally broke the silence, unable to wait any longer. "Well?" 

"Congratulations," she said, smiling at them. "You have a healthy baby. A little on the small side since we know the exact date of conception but otherwise completely fine. It’s turned away from us so I can’t quite tell the sex yet but it’ll likely shift before the next ultrasound and we can tell then. Would you like to hear the heartbeat?"

They nodded eagerly. Dr. Ting flipped a switch and a fast rhythmic whooshing sound filled the room. Max let out a surprised woof at the sudden sound, making Raleigh and Chuck laugh. Herc frowned at the same time as Dr. Ting did.

"Is that an echo?" he asked.

Dr. Ting didn’t answer, moving so that she could still see the screen while palpitating Raleigh’s stomach and move the wand.

"Echo? Dad?" Chuck asked for them both as Raleigh nearly bit through his bottom lip in sudden fear. "What’s going on?"

The image stopped shifting and the reason for the echo became clear.

There were two babies on the screen. One partially obscured the other but they looked identical otherwise.

"Is that," Chuck squeaked, cleared his throat and tried again. "Is that twins? Are we having twins?"

"Yes, you are," Dr. Ting smiled. "It also explains the smallness which is perfectly normal for twins. Congratulations. And," she shifted the wand slightly, "it looks like you’re having a boy and a girl."

Raleigh and Mako both chuckled, remembering Chuck’s panic at the thought of having a daughter. Chuck grumbled but there was no hiding the grin on his face. Not knowing what that was all about, Herc just shook his head at the three of them, smiling.

"Everything looks good so I’m going to okay taking you off bed rest and release you back to your quarters. You are still to take it easy, Raleigh. Mild exercise only and if I even hear of you going near the kwoon you’ll be back in this bed for the rest of the pregnancy. Understand me?"

"Yes, ma’am," he replied solemnly. He wasn’t going to do anything to risk being put on bed rest again.

"Good. I’ll have your discharge papers, instructions, a check-up schedule, and some photos," she nodded towards the machine as she packed it up, "ready in about half an hour. Then you’re free to go."

"Thank you," Raleigh said smiling. "For everything."

"It’s my pleasure," she replied squeezing his hand gently before wheeling the cart out.

Once she left, Herc grabbed some wipes for Raleigh who was poking at the gel on his stomach distastefully, and then sat at the foot of the bed facing them.

"All seems a bit more real now doesn’t it?" he said.

"Is this what is was like for you?" Chuck asked, barely able to tear his gaze from Raleigh.

"Pretty much. Though it was just you and not twins. That’s... Well, that’s going to be interesting. It’ll probably be awhile before you even want to think about having more." He frowned when they exchanged looks. "What?"

Chuck gestured for Raleigh to go ahead. Raleigh frowned at him but took a deep breath. "We talked about it a little when we thought I couldn’t have kids and we’ve talked about it more since then and we decided we still want to."

"What he’s trying to say is we plan to adopt," Chuck explained, rolling his eyes. "There’s lots of orphans."

"Too many," Raleigh sighed.

"Because of the kaiju," Chuck continued, "and even though we can have sprogs of our own, it’s the right thing to do."

"Plus someone promised me a whole passel of ankle biters," Raleigh grinned up at Chuck who shook his head fondly.

"Promises made during sex..."

"Oi!" Herc cut him off with a grimace. "I don’t want to know."

Chuck smirked, completely unrepentant.

"I think adoption is an admirable idea," Mako said, dragging them back to the topic. "Have you decided if you are going to adopt right away or wait until the babies are born?"

"I’d prefer to adopt before. I want them to feel settled before we add newborns to the mix," Raleigh said. "I don’t want whatever child we adopt to question their place in our family. I do think that we need to find a house first. I doubt the adoption people would be thrilled about us raising the kids in a Shatterdome. At least before they’re ten," he amended when Chuck started to open his mouth.

"Guess it’s a good thing then that the reason I couldn’t get the PM off the conference call is because she keeps sending me property listings. Trying to tempt me into moving headquarters to Sydney by offering us any house we want."

"Anything big enough for four adults and a bunch of kids?" Raleigh promptly asked.

Herc blinked in surprise, looking to Chuck, who nodded.

"He wants us all together and I’m not gonna be the one to tell him no," he shrugged. "We’re definitely sound-proofing our room though because I am not going without."

"That is too much information," Mako informed him before turning her gaze to Raleigh. "I do not wish to be a burden."

"You’re family, Mako. You’ll never be a burden." He waited until she acquiesced before turning to Herc. "When do we get to look at these property listings?"

Herc laughed, shaking his head. "Guess we’re moving headquarters to Sydney then."


	17. Epilogue: Five Years Later

"Good evening." the camera focused on a woman in her late thirties standing next to a wooden railing. Behind her was a large expanse of green lawn. Her long black hair was done up in hundreds of thin braids tied loosely at the nape of her neck. Warm brown eyes looked directly at the camera.

"For those of you just joining us, I’m Jennifer Blake from the US Network Nightly News and I’m at the Hansen-Becket-Mori home for an exclusive interview with the jaeger pilots that saved us all. A rare treat." 

She walked along the railing, the camera following her. "For one day only I was allowed a glimpse into the daily life of the remarkable young men and woman who risked their lives to save the world. We all know them as jaeger pilots, as marshal of the PPDC, as heroes. Today we’ll get to see them as a family, balancing work and home."

She was replaced by new footage of the same lawn. Laughter rang out as a ten-year-old boy with dark blond hair ran across the yard. Following him were two golden retriever puppies followed by two toddlers: a boy and a girl with ginger hair. Behind them came a smiling Chuck. Every now and again, he’d dart forward to tickle the sides of one of the toddlers, making them shriek in joy.

The camera panned until it was facing the house and the large wooden deck. Seated primly on a cushion in front of a low computer bench, Mako was carefully manipulating the 3D holographic display of a set of schematics. On a stool behind her sat a sixteen-year-old blonde girl who was carefully weaving Mako’s long hair into a multi-strand braid, her trademark blue streaks still visible, as they discussed the schematics.

The camera continued on catching sight of Herc standing at a barbecue, spatula in one hand and a longneck bottle dangling from the fingers of his other, as he watched Chuck and the children with a broad smile. The image finally settled on a seven-month pregnant Raleigh sleeping on a wide chaise lounge. Snuggled up against him was a platinum blond two-year-old boy bracketed by a dark blonde twelve-year-old girl. The little boy had his ear pressed to Raleigh’s stomach, giggling softly as the girl whispered in his ear. Stretched out at Raleigh’s feet was a young bulldog.

The image faded and was replaced by the sight of the whole family, Jennifer among them, sitting down to a meal at a long table covered in food. Controlled chaos was the only way to describe it as plates were passed around and adults or the older children helped the younger ones as necessary.

Once more there was a fade. This time they were inside clearly ready for the interview itself. Jennifer sat on a comfortable armchair across from Mako, Raleigh, and Chuck on a long sofa. The bulldog was lying across Raleigh’s feet. Herc could be seen hovering in the background, arms folded over his chest.

Jennifer smiled at them and Mako and Raleigh smiled back while Chuck frowned, his arm draped possessively across the sofa behind Raleigh.

"I wanted to start off by thanking you for choosing me for this interview and allowing me to spend the day with your lovely family."

"Weren’t exactly given much choice now, were we?" Chuck said, scowling when Raleigh elbowed him.

"What Chuck means," Mako said, "is that it is our pleasure. While it is true that we would prefer not to do this you have helped to make it easier, Ms. Blake." 

"Thank you, Miss Mori, and please, all of you, call me Jennifer."

"You may call me Mako," she nodded.

"Thank you. And I can certainly understand the desire to keep your lives private. At the same time, you all are the closest thing we have to real life superheroes." She smiled at the bright blushes she got from all of them.

"I think I can speak for all of us," Raleigh said, glancing at Chuck and Mako, "when I say we’re not superheroes. We’re just people who had the ability and the determination to do what was necessary. And we weren’t the only ones. A lot of good people came before us and stood with us."

"And that is why you’re heroes," she said, making him blush harder. "Now, we all know the basic story of the final battle and I’ve been reliably informed," her eyes cut to Herc, "that certain specifics will never be told. So let’s focus on what you all have been doing since then.

"Let’s start with you, Mako. You’re an engineer of exceptional skill. You were responsible for the restoration of the Mark-3 jaeger Gipsy Danger and you had a hand in the ones that have been restored since then. I’ve also been told that you’re responsible for some of the advances we’ve seen in cybernetic limb replacement?"

"I simply helped to oversee the restoration by looking over new designs and upgrades," she said modestly, folding her hands in the sleeves of the kimono style dress she wore. "I was still recovering from the injuries I received during the battle and could not leave my bed for quite some time."

"You suffered radiation poisoning from the destruction of Striker Eureka, correct?"

"Hai," Mako replied, covering the hand Raleigh put on her arm with her own. "I was very sick for a long time. I will never be completely healthy but advances in medicine have given me time I would not have had even ten years ago."

"Something for which your family is very grateful for I’m sure," Jennifer smiled sympathetically.

"We’re very grateful," Raleigh asserted. Chuck nodded, brushing his fingertips over her shoulder from behind Raleigh.

"And the work you’ve done in cybernetics?"

"It is not much," Mako demurred. "I built off the concept of the jaeger pilot biofeedback circuitry suits. Chuck was also instrumental in the work I did."

"Yeah nah," Chuck shook his head. "It was all Mako – her ideas, her designs. I just helped build some of the early prototypes because she had some motor control issues. Go on, show her your hand."

Mako bit her lip but pulled up the left sleeve of her gown, uncovering her gloved hand. She carefully removed the silk glove, revealing that her pinky and ring fingers were in fact mechanical constructs attached to a thin neoprene-type fabric with delicate circuit wires woven into it, covering part of her hand and wrist.

"It’s just like the circuitry suits we wear to control a jaeger," Raleigh explained, gently cradling her hand in his.

"Only instead of controlling a jaeger," Chuck picked up the narrative, "the circuitry fabric picks up the nerve impulses and muscle movement in her wrist allowing her to move the fingers like they were her own."

Mako demonstrated by first curling her fingers into a fist before flexing them. She then moved each finger individually proving that the mechanical ones could operate independently.

"That’s amazing!" Jennifer gushed, her hands clasped tightly in her lap to keep from reaching out to touch. "Is there any pain from them? Are they permanently attached? Has this been made available to the public yet?"

Smiling, Mako replaced her glove. "There is no pain from the prosthetics themselves although there can be if I damage them. As I said, they work on the same principle as the circuitry suits providing biofeedback allowing me a measure of sensation. They are currently removable. There are scientists working on a more permanent integrated solution but such things take time. It is not technically available to the public yet. Clinical trials are being conducted with volunteers from various military hospitals. Soldiers who were injured in the line of duty."

"An admirable decision," Jennifer agreed before turning to Chuck. "And you helped build this, Ranger Hansen?"

"Chuck, and just the early prototypes," he said with a shake of his head. "That one was created by some of our specialty project engineers. I can do small work like that but I prefer working on the jaegers. Been working on them since I was a teen, don’t plan to stop now."

"So when you’re not piloting Coyote Tango you’re working on the jaegers? Design or repairs?"

"Both when I get the chance. I also train all our new pilots. They don’t go through quite the same training we did at the Academy. With no imminent threat of kaiju, combat training isn’t as heavily focused on, but we prefer they be prepared just in case."

"You believe the kaiju will be back then?" she asked, shuddering lightly.

"Didn’t say that now, did I?" Chuck growled. "I said just in case, didn’t I? Breach is closed. Last thing I want is to find we risked our lives for a bloody time out. On the other hand, I got kids now. If those bastards come back, I want to be damn sure the men and women we’re putting in those jaegers know how to take them down. Better to be over prepared than caught with our shorts around our ankles."

"Do you agree with that sentiment, Raleigh?" She turned to him. 

He nodded easily. "Like Chuck said, I don’t like to think we risked our lives for just a brief time of peace. But I’d also prefer that we be over-prepared than caught unawares. This world has suffered enough from the kaiju."

"Very true. Now, you copilot Coyote Tango with Chuck. Primarily search and rescue missions as I recall."

"Yes. Jaegers can withstand weather conditions that more traditional rescue vehicles can’t. Plus it’s a great feeling knowing you’ve directly saved someone’s life."

"I can imagine. There must be a point at which you’re no longer able to pilot due to your pregnancy?" Jennifer gestured to his rounded stomach.

"So far, late in the fourth month has been my stopping point. More because I couldn’t fit in the drivesuit anymore than because there was any danger to the baby." Raleigh shrugged, a hand falling to his stomach. "Outside my duties as a jaeger pilot, I usually act as an aide-de-camp for the marshal, putting my knowledge of different languages to good use."

"How many languages do you speak?" Jennifer asked surprised. No jaeger pilot could be unintelligent, no matter his or her ability to Drift, yet Raleigh Becket had never seemed the intellectual sort; interviews had always focused on his physical skills. Then again, until he’d become pregnant after the Battle of the Breach, many had questioned his status as an omega, insisting he was really a beta. It seemed the world constantly underestimated him.

"I can speak seven languages fluently and know four well enough to get by in. A few others I know the absolute basics like where’s the bathroom and how to curse. I’m currently working on my Australian," he answered, pronouncing it like a native.

"How many times have I told you we speak English?" Chuck grumbled. ‘It’s not some bloody code to break."

"It was easier for me to learn Japanese, probably the hardest language for a native English speaker to learn, than it’s been for me to figure out Australian slang. Seriously. Figjam? Fair dinkum? What do they even mean?" he whined, glaring when Chuck started to answer. "Don’t even start right now. And don’t think I can’t hear you laughing back there, Herc."

"Sorry, Raleigh," Herc called, not even trying to hide his snickering.

"No you’re not," Raleigh grumbled good-naturedly, smiling slyly at Jennifer. She had a hand pressed to her mouth to cover her smile. Her smile widened when the bulldog wiggled her way up onto the sofa between Raleigh and Chuck, deliberately putting her back to Chuck whining at the blond. Raleigh laughed, scrunching her face. "It’s okay, Sasha. Daddy and Grandpa were just teasing Poppa. You’re such a good girl. Poppa’s little babushka."

He cooed at her in Russian until Jennifer cleared her throat to get his attention again. Raleigh grinned, keeping the dog snuggled against his side to Chuck’s consternation. Mako just shook her head, clearly used to his antics.

"Is she named after..."

"The Kaidonovskys?" Raleigh supplied. "Yeah, pretty much. She’s from the last litter Max sired before he passed." His hand slipped to Chuck’s, lacing their fingers together. "We’d been thinking about keeping one of his pups for awhile but none of them had really clicked."

"Then we go to meet the latest litter and there is little Sasha. Very much the alpha of her littermates," Mako said, smiling.

"She took right to Raleigh. Bossing him about," Chuck grinned. 

Raleigh shrugged. "She reminded me of Sasha and Aleksis and the way they took me under their wing when I first got to Hong Kong. It was only natural to name her Sasha."

"And teach her Russian apparently," Chuck muttered, grinning when Raleigh glared at him.

"All of our kids speak Australian. I can teach her Russian if I want."

"Boys, on point," Herc interrupted before they could really get going.

"Sorry, you were saying?" Raleigh turned back to Jennifer with an innocent look she didn’t buy for a minute.

"Tell me about your children. You have six with another on the way but they’re not all biologically yours, correct?"

"Correct," Raleigh agreed. "Our three eldest are adopted siblings. For reasons I’d rather not talk about, we didn’t think I could have kids of my own. So Chuck and I talked about adopting. Then I got pregnant but we still felt that adopting was the right thing to do. When I started talking to the adoption agent and explained that we were looking for an older child because I knew they were harder to place, they asked if we’d be willing to consider siblings. They preferred to adopt out siblings together but prospective parents frequently were only looking for one, maybe two children. We discussed it and agreed to at least meet with them."

"That was the end of that. One look and Raleigh was a goner for them."

"Right," Raleigh drawled. "Because you didn’t spend the entire time bonding with Hannah over Striker Eureka and Max."

"What can I say? The girl has good taste. Besides, you had the two little’uns crawling all over you."

"Was there any conflict when you started having your own children?"

"Not really. We’ve done our best to ensure that they all know that we love them equally. They’re all my kids whether I gave birth to them or not," Raleigh insisted. "Unless they’re sick. Then they’re Chuck’s kids."

"Big baby, can’t handle a bit of kiddie chunder," Chuck smirked.

"Do I need to remind you about the time..."

"Foot and ankle massage as soon as we’re done if you never ever mention that again," Chuck cut him off, a bit wild-eyed. 

Raleigh smirked settling back on the sofa. "Add in my favorite bath salts and you’ve got a deal."

"You’re watching the sprogs tonight, old man," Chuck said, twisting around to look at his father. 

"Told you not to call me that," Herc snorted.

"Whatever." He turned back around at Raleigh’s poke.

"One more question before we go to break. Is there anything you regret and wish you could go back and change?"

They sat silent for a moment thinking it over. Raleigh was the one to speak. "I think that regret and wishing you could go back and change something are two very different things. We all have someone we wish we could go back and save by doing something different. Regret though? I don’t think I have anything I regret because everything we’ve done has led us to here, to this point in our lives, and I can’t regret anything about that."

"None of us do," Chuck agreed and Mako nodded. They were happy and couldn’t regret that.

The end.


End file.
